D006 – The Fact That I’m Alive (Chiffon’s POV)
Posted on June 17, 2016 by crazypumkin
TN: @Amash brought to my attention that I am seemingly translating the digest version.
This is my mistake of not researching properly before translating, for this I apologize.
So now I will finished this since I am half way through and then get started on the original chapters.
001 & 002 are totally same as 001 of the digest so no worries ….I just have to say damn it! As compared, the original chapters are like 1/3 shorter then these digest versions! No wonder these are so long..
Editor : Poor_Hero
” The mission today is to retrieve the documents and to bring along Beryl’s House kid. ”
I was told to gather at a drab-looking cabin and as I headed towards it, someone who was already there told me to enter. His whole body and even his face were covered and with his average figure, he could be said to be somebody without any defining characteristics.
The mission this time must be written onto the paper card he was holding though since I couldn’t read, I had no idea if that’s the truth or not. What a careless client, leaving along the evidence with us, who were the part of the underground world.
We, 「Shadow」, had the duty of confidentiality and would never leak out any information about our clients to others but some small organizations of thugs used the fact about hiring us to threaten others carelessly.
Still, the recovery of documents. Just said you wanted to steal it.
And to ‘bring along’ the Beryl’s House kid? Just frankly said ‘kidnap’.
I started shaking with anger at the ‘Client’ whom I had yet met. No matter how many beautiful words you used, an evil deed was an evil deed. Suppressing my anger, I lifted my head, also covered in cloth, up. In the cabin, including me, there were 3 people. The average figure guy who read the card and a tall, muscular guy. From their figure, I knew they were the ones who had grouped with me for missions these last few times.
” Is the preparations done? ”
The tall guy asked. I nodded.
In the dusk that was fast approaching to night, the average figure guy took lead and we ran out.
I was 「Shadow」, belonging to an organization from the underground which undertook ‘missions’. A Shadow’s job ranged, from thefts to information exchange, kidnap or even assassination. I especially, was given the more dangerous ‘missions’ like assassination.
Why was I stuck with these kinds of unpleasant jobs?
It was all thanks to these repulsive ears and tail. I was a ‘Beast man’, an inferior species. In replacement of ears on the sides of my head, I had dog-like ears on top and out of my butt a bushy mangy tail grew. I was bullied at the orphanage because of this monster-like appearance. [TN: You’re in the wrong world. In ours, there are people who worship that ears and tail of yours…desu.]
At my last day in the orphanage, I was given loads of food but it seemed like it was mixed with sleeping medicine. When I came to, something heavy was attached to my neck and I became a slave. And so, I received training to become ‘Shadow’.
The training is to endure wounds, to withstand pain, to not make a sound. Combat training and at last….training on how to kill.
It’s terrible, I didn’t want to kill. I desperately tried to resist but it was impossible. I had already given up.
This collar—this black band of metal on my neck made my body moved regardless of my will. My left hand would pin down my right hand holding a knife, my body would kill a person I wanted to save. The day I was released was the day I died. These dirty hands of mine, all these crimes I did, I could only apologize by my death.
Looking up, the destination, Beryl’s estate could be seen on top of a hill.
” The target? ”
” In the office. Right in front of the stairs on the 2nd floor. ”
The tall guy replied to the average guy after searching using his sight. Then, without talking, without hesitation, we arrived at the bottom of the fence, west of the estate.
The 2 glances fleetingly at me. The fence was quite high but still did not pose a problem. I nodded and moved close to the tall guy like usual. He carried me, contracted his muscles and threw me over in an instance. Instantly I bent all my joints, allowing the shock of the landing to run through my body. I was already at the top of the hill. I lowered the rope tied around my body and after checking that the both of them had hold of it, I strengthened myself with magic and pulled them up at once.
” [Shadow] ”
Once over the fence, tall guy invoked the magic. We became invisible under the cover of darkness. I sneaked a glance at the street we passed. The sunset made the street dazzled.
Like the average guy had predicted, the target was in the office in front of the 2nd story stairs. [TN: Huh? Isn’t it the tall guy who said that?] Instructions had been given along the way, the customer had said apart from the target, he had lured the rest of people in the house away. Such kindness. [TN: RIGHT.]
It would be embarrassing if we failed after all that. I felt nauseated.
Looks like the customer had done as promised, no light nor could person be seen in the office. Being able to see in the darkness was needed as a ‘Shadow’.
Reaching the 2nd floor office window that adorned with ornament, the average guy took out a needle and pick opened the window. They must have thought that no one would enter through the main window of the mansion. Even though this was an old mansion, the defense for the window was weak.
Opening the window, we landed without a sound in the room. The document was at… looking at the stacks of papers around the office, finding it was going to be difficult. The average guy pointed to the area close to the wall and without hesitation I walked over. Even though I couldn’t read, there was certainly a pattern of how the documents were stacked. And then, at the moment the document we were looking for was found..
” What are you doing here? ” [TN: Using very polite speech.]
” ……! ”
I reacted by reflex when I heard a young, slightly lisping, yet composed voice opposite from the darkness. This…collar!
Flustered, I looked in the direction of the voice, and there, I saw a shadow that was not even 100cm…
From my fingers, I stared dumbly at the diamond-shaped hidden weapon I just fired. Ah, I killed a person again….. But, before I could realize, for some reason the child was already right in front of me. At the same moment, my consciousness grew dark.
” Why…. ”
was the first thing I said when I came to. I could not comprehend what had happened at all. It was not that I had lost my memories, but…..
As a Shadow, this behavior was unthinkable. To speak on enemy grounds…. Even so, I could not even move an inch. Trying to twist my body caused intense pain that struck throughout my body. I frowned, not making a sound this time. No..the correct phrase should be that I couldn’t make a sound, due to the collar. I rolled around on the floor to look around the surroundings. No one could be seen apart from us. And as it was, the other 2 were still unconscious.
Nonetheless, doubts started raising. Even if we were unconscious, leaving us ‘Shadow’ alone unsupervised was rather careless. We could be considered as professional. No matter how tied up we were, we did possess the skills to slip out.
With that, I tried moving my body again and I realized…. I couldn’t move. Even though nothing could be seen binding us, I could not even move a finger. It felt just like my body turned into lead, the ‘Shadow’ side of me calmed to analyze, yet another side of me felt a strange, unfamiliar sense of terror, caused me to sweat.
I convinced myself that the sweat was because of the extreme pain spreading throughout my body and starting to think of what to do next. I still had the absolute-loyalty collar on me yet my body could not move an inch. [TN: GEEZE. How many times must you repeat that?!?]
And I had no idea what happened.
We erased our presence just to be sure when we sneaked in and the tall guy had used [Shadow] magic to merge us into the darkness so it was impossible for anyone to see us. Even so, why did my arm react to the child’s voice…eh? A child?
The one that spoke to us, furthermore knocking us out, was done by a kid? This was a nightmare. I was not hallucinating, was I? But this pain running throughout my body was the real deal.
But why? Questions raced across my brain, and even so, I was not panicking. Being in this situation that defied the orders of the collar made me kinda happy.
2 pairs of footsteps could be heard walking on the carpet and the lamp was switched on.
A black-haired man appeared in my vision. And, a beautiful angel-like child too.
” This…perhaps… It was you who bound all 3 of them? ”
After looking over us, the black-haired man who suddenly appeared asked the child who was with him, looking like he had an idea who we really were. It seems like he realized how dangerous we were since it looked like there was nothing tying us up.
” Ah, I will tell you about that later. ”
With that, the angel-like child instantly replied, and the truth was proven. That’s right, the one who put us into this situation was this child. And he most likely completely trusted this robe wearing intelligent-looking scholar. My face turned stiff.
It couldn’t be. I mean, this big and round eyes, tufty eyebrows, and below his moderately fleshy cheeks lied a pair of small cute lips, all arranged onto a face that was like the art god created, lined up to create a sense of beauty. Moreover that silky shiny silver hair paired with emerald green sparkly eyes like shone like a gemstone. He looked just like the angel from the picture book that I used to sneak into the bookstore to read when I was young.
That kind of child did this to me…..?
” What is the matter? ”
” What’s the matter indeed. ”
While I was trying to accept this truth, these 2 were talking without a care in the world. Just tried to be afraid a little, would you? We were tentatively ‘Shadow’ who could even silence a crying kid.
I was wrong to try to observe them while being in agony about the pain. The cloth that was covering my face was removed by that child who moved close to me without me noticing…….and our eyes met.
” Ah. ”
The child exclaimed in surprised. The one shouting in surprised should be me!
I wished to yell too, as the delicate movement of having my mask removed was paid by experiencing severe pain throughout my body. It might be that several of my ribs broke. Even so, I did not mutter a single sound.
The collar was to blame. Even though I didn’t feel like I was bound but I could not move, I harbored a hope that perhaps my collar was broken but no chance. Then, it looked like the black-haired guy finally noticed and started to search my body. Of course, in this occupation we often carried weapons and hidden weapons. But, he was shocked when he felt my rib area.
” This person, several of the bones are broken. What kind of fighting did you do? ”
” ….Eh? ”
As I thought it’s broken. From this amount of pain I thought it might be so. The guy looked at me with a sharp gaze.
” What is your purpose of infiltrating this house? ”
” ………. ”
” Are you with the Veltor’s? ”
My vision turned white.
” ………. ”
It was true that once you came to know the seriousness of your injury, it was going to hurt more. Right now, I was trying to endure the pain by scowling. The man repeated his questions over and over again but it was useless. My neck was bound by that magic item. I could only obey the orders to keep mum. Plus, I had no idea who our client was. All I knew was a man who was covered by his long robe was our owner.
” Will, let’s bring her into a separate room. Heavy…? ”
They must be giving up on me who was refusing to speak. Black-haired man placed his arm underneath my wrist to lift me up but somehow surprisingly, my body did not moved an inch.
I couldn’t be that heavy.
No matter how weak that scholar seemed, there was no way he couldn’t even move me, who could be considered slender. And the time that allowed me to think ended. At the same time the pressure against my body was lifted, the scenery changed. Without the pressure, my bones spread out in different directions and with that, extreme pain.
I could not even feel if it was hot or cold as black and white spots danced around in my vision. My teeth started shaking as if it’s cold yet my back started sweating as if it’s hot. I knew this feeling. I had felt it millions of time during training, this intense pain that could bring about death by shock.
My consciousnesses started getting hazy.
My hearing started waning.
” I think this person is a [Shadow]. ”
” …..[Shadow]? ”
” Yes. [Shadow] is the ‘fixer’ of the underworld. As long as there is a request, they will do anything, even assassination. They are the organization that operates in the dark, with no one ever seeing them before. ”
I wanted to listen in their conversation but my vision was swimming and my hearing was shaky and I could not separate the sounds. They were doing something with my neck but I could not tell what it was.
” …..This! ….Will, it’s as I thought, the situation is unfavorable. This item that is attached at the neck is mostly likely the [Collar of Slavery]. ”
The man was saying something. My vision was swimming. A small shadow came close and said something but I could not understand.
” Onee-san is a shadow? ”
He seemed to be asking something. I tried my best to focus my vision but I could not recognize anything.
” Slavery was banned decades ago. The manufacturing method of [Collar of Slavery] was ceased and it was said to be a taboo magic item. ”
A deep voice sounded out. The small shadow came close again. A silver glow.
” [Release] ”
The meaningless sounds lined up and at that moment, I could feel that I was wrapped in a warm glow. Then there was a noise around my neck area for some reason. My understanding could not catch up.
” ………..Why? ”
That came out of my mouth suddenly.
I felt like I had said that before, but that cracking voice reflected my feelings.
My world that was clouded, cleared up.
All these overflowing feelings coupled with the extreme pain caused my vision to finally turn white.
” ……Nnn.. ”
Suddenly, an Angel entered in the middle of my sight.
Why was an Angel…? Was I finally dead?
That thinking lasted for only a moment as I remembered what had happened before I lost consciousness. Yes, this angel-like child had totally blockaded us during battle and captured us when we were knocked out. I didn’t even dare to ask about the fate of the rest of the captured ‘Shadows’.
His master must be the man clad in black robes. Instantly, fear gripped my heart.
” Onee-san, are you okay? ”
” ……!! ”
As I was shaking with fear, a voice rang out surprised me. The Angel had a gentle smile on his face as he continued.
” Is Onee-san a [Shadow] because of the collar? ”
Even if you asked that, because of the collar I couldn’t answer anyway. I wonder if my thoughts could be understood. The child grinned and laughed.
” If it’s the collar I have taken it off! ”
Disbelieving, I timidly touched my neck…. My fingers did not touch anything…..?
What was the meaning of this?
My understanding could not catch up to this turn of events. I looked at the child in front of me, dumbfounded. When our eyes met, he smiled.
” Onee-san is free. ”
” …….You’re bluffing……. ”
” No I am not. ”
” You’re bluffing!! ”
I shouted at the impossible words. Because…right. I was a dirty, wild, and inferior beast, compared to humans. That was what everyone said, yes, even I thought so too. It was because of that I ended up like this. It was because of that I was satisfied with being a ‘Shadow’. Freedom was something you had if you could control it, but I couldn’t. Because I was not a human. Everyone stepped on my tail. Because it’s dirty. That I was to leave. That I was a monster. That I was useless. That I was an idiot. Beast men were not humans. That’s why we could not do what humans could.
” I am not bluffing! Onee-san is free… ”
” I can’t be!! I cannot be free! Because…because… I am a… Beast man! ”
This child must have thought I was a human. That was why he was looking at me with these pure eyes that were free of doubt. If you thought it’s a simple rock you would sit on it, but if you knew there is a mass of centipedes, pill bugs clinging on to it, you wouldn’t.
It might look like a normal rock but it’s actually poisonous. That’s me.
Taking advantage of this flow, I took off the cloth that was wrapped around my head. Among my flattened hair, 2 beast ears jumped up. I saw how that child’s face was filled with surprised. As I thought. I hung my head in shame, and thus missed seeing the continuation of his expression.
I wondered what kind of face he was making now. Must be looking at me with disgust. Or contempt. And pity I guessed. [TN: My guess? He wanna touch that ears of yours.]
” Why can’t Beast Men have freedom? ”
” Because….We’re revolting. In any case, it’ll still be…. ”
My heart was beating like crazy, even so, his voice was clear, without any feelings. He was calmly searching, asking. As I answered with a trembling voice, he went silent for a moment. I wondered what he’s thinking. Still, I couldn’t bear to lift up my head. Please, stop asking these detestable questions. My ears naturally flattened against my head, trying to block out the sound.
It was a moment of silence, yet it felt like eternity. And then, I heard him getting closer to the bed I was laying. He was going to hit me for deceiving him. I flinched at his outstretched hand.
” How so? I think it’s cute. ”
” You’re bluffing! ”
The answer beyond my expectation caused me to look up and I shouted. Because he was stroking my ears, but, to say it’s cute, did he even know what he’s talking about? [TN: TOLD YOU.]
But when I saw his expression, I faltered. He had a gentle smile on yet his face was serious.
” Onee-san, aren’t your ears just a part of you? For example, if I cut my hair, I am still me. If I dress up nicely, I am still me. ”
He cut off his sentence at that point. He was saying that my ears, tails were just decorations, things that had no meaning. And this tail and ears were just a part of my body, not all of me. If this was heard by people on the street that had pity on me, they would think what a horrible remark to make.
Because he just totally denied my ears and tail. Yet it still hit close to my heart. Maybe it’s because he said it gently and straight. And it’s not pity. He said that in my position. That it’s okay to cast it aside, to not worry about it. That even if I was clad in rags, a human is still a human.
” Isn’t it that? It is the inside that’s important. ”
He said, smiling yet somehow he looked like he was about to cry.
I saw, now I got it. Used to killing. Giving up. Because I was a Beast Man. All I was doing was escaping. To tell the truth, I really wanted to be recognized as a human.
[TN: It’s really not all that good. I would rather prefer to be an Elf. Or dragon. ]
My eyes swelled up, feeling hot.
” I think Onee-san’s ears are cute. ”
He said, looking like he really meant it and I cried.
TN: And that’s it for the digest for now! Moving on to the main story! Once again, I’m so sorry for the mistake.