Xu Xinduo didn’t answer. After sitting up, she just sat limply with her head facing downwards, not knowing what to think.
Tong Yan tilted his head and looked at her closer. He reached out to tuck back her short hair but saw Xu Xinduo blinking rapidly. She was already crying when he heard the pitter-patter sounds of her tears.
He panicked instantly, holding onto Xu Xinduo’s face to help her wipe her tears. In a hurry, he wanted to wipe away her tears, but he seemed to have spreaded them evenly, making her entire face damp.
Xu Xinduo was once again crying out of embarrassment. She didn’t want to think about it; just remembering that moment made her feel like the volcano within her was going to erupt.
She already experienced a tsunami and a landslide in her mind. Suddenly, the world changed and not only did her psychological defence collapse, but the dignity she had always maintained shattered as well.
Unrequited love was a silent act of defence for one’s dignity.
Liking someone but keeping the fact hidden deep inside— the reason for this silent action was because no one wanted their emotions to be judged, nor did they want anyone else to trample over them.
Confessing was an act of letting go of her dignity and restraints; because her love overpowered every other emotion and she wanted an answer. She didn’t confess all along because she was cowardly and wanted to preserve her dignity.
However… Xu Xinduo was incapable of feeling any sort of embarrassment when she was drunk. She was no longer reserved and she could become very… frivolous!
All the hard work that she maintained for so long was destroyed overnight.
She didn’t know what she was like when she was drunk because she had no memory at all, so she could only analyse Tong Yan’s behaviour after he transferred to her body.
Paired with what Tong Yan said afterwards, she was going to die out of shame and embarrassment.
I can’t live anymore.
Let’s all perish together.
“Ouch, my dear ancestor(2), don’t cry…” Tong Yan really didn’t know what else he could do, so he held Xu Xinduo in his arms and hugged her tightly.
(T/N: In a group of close friends, calling someone ancestor is a way to say that their rank is higher. It’s usually a way to address a friend in a teasing manner)
He couldn’t stand the sight of Xu Xinduo crying as it made him more uncomfortable than her beating him.
Xu Xinduo didn’t want to get close to Tong Yan; she just wanted to calm down by herself, so stretched out her hand to push him away. Tong Yan then started to apologise, “I was wrong. Ancestor, I was wrong. I won’t do anything next time. When you get drunk again, I’ll put on my earplugs; and if you come close to me, I’ll push you away.”
“Why didn’t you lock me up in a small room?!” That way, Tong Yan wouldn’t have seen her embarrassing behaviour!
She didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of the person she liked!
I’m never going to drink again!
Tong Yan explained sincerely, “How could I do that?! The last time you were drunk and insisted on taking a bath, you almost fell asleep in the bathtub and I had to fish you out. If it weren’t for me getting concerned about you, you might not have been able to come out of the house ever again!”
After hearing what Tong Yan said, Xu Xinduo cried even more. She simply laid down again and pulled the quilt to cover herself. She struggled under the quilt so that Tong Yan would not touch her before she clamoured for him to go out, “Get out and give me a moment to calm down! Ahhh!”
Tong Yan got up from the bed obediently as he walked to the door and said, “Then calm down for a bit, okay? I’ll go make you breakfast.”
