When she paused for breath, Blair remembered how Wesley acted like a player when he went on that mission. He had special training on how to flirt with women.
But when he was done with the mission, all his training flew out the window. He was just the same old boring Wesley.
Wesley didn't like what she said, but he decided it wasn't worth being mad over. "That wasn't cool. Besides, I have something else in mind. Can you call me 'honey?' I'd really like that."
She replayed a scene of their intimacy in her head, and she blushed furiously. She shifted her gaze from him and said bashfully, "I…already called you that."
"Yeah, but only in bed."
Blair was shocked by his blunt manner. Her face was burning crimson red.
"No way. Not again," she announced in anger.
"Don't tick me off."
"You mad at me?" Her face was deadpan but there was a pained look in her eyes.
Wesley pulled her into his arms, embracing her tightly. He said between gritted teeth, "Not really. I can't stay mad at you for long anyway. I don't know what to do with you."
She had an answer for that, but she didn't say it out loud. 'How about hold me tight and never let me go?' Blair buried her face in his chest, wearing a happy smile. He was obviously giving in, yet he still sounded stiff. Didn't he know how to be tender and loving?
Besides, she was the same. She didn't know what to do with him either.
What happened between him and Patty was always in the back of her mind. It haunted her, ate at her soul. 'It was for the mission, ' she told herself. But that didn't make her feel any better.
She was angry that he treated Megan so nicely. But she told herself that it was because Megan's parents had saved his life. If it were not for Megan's parents, he would have died long ago and she wouldn't be able to meet him.
When they had sex the first time, he said between gritted teeth that she was shameless. She was hurt. But she tried her best to erase that from her memory.
"You know I don't mind waiting. As long as I know you'll be with me," she said quietly. Waiting for him was not hard at all. What frustrated her most was not knowing what would split them apart. They fought like cats and dogs, and every time they had a fight, she didn't know if they'd be okay after that. He didn't know how to cool her down. Sometimes, they wouldn't even talk or text each other for a while afterward.
Wesley silently listened to her. "It's just that I miss you so much," she continued.
Sometimes, in the dead of night, she would wake up in tears as she missed him so much.
Sometimes when she saw a couple being affectionate, she would think of Wesley.
She would yearn for Wesley's warm arms; his hugs were comforting.
Silently holding her for a moment, Wesley suddenly told her, "I'm retiring from the military. Maybe next year."
Blair jerked her head up. He looked very serious. It wasn't like a joke. "Why?" she asked.
"Relax. It's not because of you. It's all me."
"Are you crazy?" She pulled away from him.
She could hardly believe that. It took blood, sweat, and tears to get where he was now. The scars crisscrossing his body told the story. A lot of soldiers looked up to him. For some soldiers, they had no chance to measure up to him. He was their idol. But now he planned to quit his position, for personal reasons. What was he thinking about?
Wesley smiled, "After I retire, I want to do some traveling, see the world. Maybe study abroad. What do you think? Maybe go into finance, or…" He paused and pondered on it. 'Or do something more important, although I won't be as powerful as I'm now, ' he thought.
He understood himself and knew what he wanted his life to look like. He didn't want to be a commander who just sat in the office and issued orders. He was ambitious. There were two directions he could go in. One was to become someone like Carlos, who controlled the economic lifeline of a city and bolstered the economy of the whole country.
The other option was the battlefield. He knew he had Blair now, and he wanted a baby with her. Even so, his love for his country remained the same. He would fight for his country without hesitation.
And he preferred the military option.
He was still young and strong enough to fight. He wouldn't just sit in an office. Maybe when he was older—much older.
Blair stared at him while he mulled it over. She saw the determination in his eyes. "Well…as long as you've thought it through."
"If I continue as a soldier, nothing will change. I'll be out on a mission time and again, and you'll have to wait at home. I can't always be by your side. So I'm asking you."
Blair smiled bitterly. 'So you're not really thinking of me. It's lonely at home without you, and having to worry about you being safe? That is hell. You ever think about that? Now you get my opinion, but what else can I say?' "I hope you can be selfish once, for your sake."
He didn't need to retire from the military or change professions. He was a pretty high-ranking soldier; if he stayed behind instead of going to the front lines, he would have more time with her. But Blair knew that wasn't what he wanted.
Wesley fell silent. After a moment, he said, "Then I'll go into finance or something. Businessman it is."
"No. You don't enjoy that. You won't be happy, neither will I. Wesley, just do what you want. Ask your heart what it wants. My opinion doesn't matter. If we end up together, I'll support your decision, whatever it is."
She knew what Wesley was thinking. He was stuck in a dilemma. Career or family, sometimes you couldn't have both. If she chose to love him and stay with him, she would have no choice but to sacrifice something.
Wesley was silent again.
The scorching sunlight reddened her face. Wesley moved to shield her from the sunlight. "Remember, Blair, no matter what I choose, I won't give up on you—or us."
Blair forced a smile and nodded her head. Deep down, she felt like things were hopeless.
At one point she thought happy days were here again; she wouldn't need to keep waiting for him anymore.
But she felt the same as him. No matter what decision he made or where he would go, she wouldn't give up on him. She would wait for him to come back.
She loved him so deeply.
"How long have you thought about this?" she asked.
"After I got back from my last mission, and before I came here." He kept thinking about the future these days.
On the bright side, Blair was proud of him for being brave enough to tell her. She was also happy he shared his heart. He asked her what she thought. That was improvement. "Promise me one thing," she said, looking him in the eye.
"Go on."
"Whatever you choose, stay alive." As long as he was alive, even if they were apart, she would have the courage to live on.
Wesley was silent once again.
This was the problem that bugged him from the start. That was why he took so long to ask Blair out. "I'll try my best," he promised.
Blair stood on tiptoe to help him straighten his collar. "I gotta go now. It takes a while to get to the train station." XH City was large and spread out. She had to go back to the hotel first and then to the station. It would take her at least two hours.
Wesley lowered his head to kiss her lips. "Wait for me."
"Mmm hmm. But Wesley…"
She didn't like being sad like this. So she raised her eyebrows and joked, "Well, if you can't stay alive, then tell me. That way, I can marry another guy who can be with me every day."
His Adam's apple bobbed. He repeated, "I told you before. Military marriage is protected by law. We can't get divorced."
Blair snorted, "Don't take me for a fool. As long as you apply for a divorce, of course we can."
"See, that's just it. I won't do it. Blair, stop trying to get rid of me. You're mine forever—unless I die! And I don't plan on it."
She pinched his arm heavily. "Wesley, never mention the word 'die' again."
"Yeah. I hear you."
On the other hand, Niles had run out of patience. He finished his lunch a while ago, but he didn't dare to interrupt the loving couple.
