Youyou knew that keeping Gong Fan’s personality would be an overload on his mental strength. His body would be overwhelmed for sure.
Such a burden should have been eliminated in one fell swoop when Gong Fan revealed his weak side. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Thus, Youyou and Gong Fan came to an understanding. The two personalities would take turns to manifest and each must not dominate for a long time. However, Gong Fan was still a little uneasy. He was afraid of becoming a burden. He was afraid… Yun Shishi would resent his presence.
“Mommy… will you hate me?”
That sounded odd to Yun Shishi.
Beside her, Little Yichen had fallen asleep, so she bent her head and lowered her voice. “Why are you asking such a strange question?”
“Because … I’m afraid that one day, Mommy will hate me.” As Gong Fan spoke, he felt a little sad and guilty.
He felt as if this body did not belong to him, and yet he clung to it, claiming it. He was unwilling to disappear, unwilling to leave. Could it be that his mother did not love him at all, she was only waiting for those moments that Youyou would manifest?
Now that Youyou was back, surely Mommy knew about this? And that being the case, would she begin to loathe him? Gong Fan felt uneasy. It was the only thing he felt uneasy about. It seemed that nothing else could sway his emotions. Things that had to do with Yun Shishi were the only matters he cared about, the only things that could sway his emotions.
“Mommy, if a day should come that you think I’m in the way, or I’ve become an eyesore, don’t hate me. Tell me you don’t like me, you like Youyou better. I’ll leave on my own.”
However… he pleaded with her to leave him with one last shred of dignity, to not drive him away, to not be disgusted with him. Apart from this, he had no other request.
Yun Shishi’s heart ached when she heard that. She didn’t know why Gong Fan would say such a thing. She had always known that what this child lacked most was security, but she had not expected him to be so sensitive that he would let his imagination run wild.
However, what Gong Fan was worried about was also what she was worried about. She was worried that if the two personalities coexisted, Youyou would eventually succumb. However, she didn’t blame Gong Fan. The fault wasn’t his alone. How could she blame him? However, she was also in a dilemma.
Whether it was Gong Fan or Youyou, she could not bear to part with them. But if she wanted to keep Gong Fan’s personality for her own selfish reasons, what if Youyou could not cope anymore? Then she would never be able to forgive herself. Was expelling Gong Fan the only way to protect Youyou? Wasn’t it possible to have it both ways? At least, a solution that was less cruel.
“Don’t overthink it. Huh? How could Mommy hate you?”
Gong Fan said uneasily, “If I have to disappear one day, I will do so without giving trouble. Whether Mommy will always remember me, love me, or miss me, I will always love Mommy the most.”
Those words touched her deeply. Her heart ached for him as she wrapped her arms around him and sighed. “Don’t let your imagination run away with you. Mommy won’t hate you or stop loving you! Both you and Youyou are dear to my heart. Mommy loves you and always will. Don’t let your imagination run away with you, okay? Sleep early.”
When Gong Fan heard this, he fell asleep peacefully. Even a verbal promise would buy him a night of peaceful sleep.
