Everything was quiet except for the breaths of the two people inside the room.
Jin Liwei watched his wife who may appear silent but must be filled with roaring emotions inside. He rested his hand on her shoulder and did his best to transmit his support for her. His other hand stroked her hair to soothe her.
"Did you know?" she asked, finally breaking the silence.
He continued stroking her hair and waited for her to say more.
"That night…that fateful night, I watched the world around me descend into utter chaos. Screams were everywhere. Nonstop gunshots. The dark sky would light up but it wasn't lightning but from explosions. It was like hell had ascended from the netherworld and engulfed the entire Vetrov estate, dragging everything and everyone into its darkness.
"Liwei, did you know? I watched it all happen with my own eyes…but you know what? I didn't feel anything that normal people should feel. Not fury, not even despair. My entire family and everyone who worked for us were being murdered left and right by the enemies…and yet, all I felt was relief. Complete relief.
"And peace. I felt at peace because I knew right there and then that I was going to die. That I was finally going to escape the suffering in my heart, the gradual decay of my hope, and the slow death of my inner self. I thought…that at last, I was going to be free.
"Liwei, I felt no guilt at all in not defending or fighting back against the enemy attack. My family's subordinates dropped dead one by one before my very eyes and yet I didn't take any action. I just…I just played the piano. I told myself that I should play something to send off the souls of the killed ones…but that was a lie…a complete lie!"
She banged her palms on the piano keys. The loud discordant tune boomed in the room.
Jin Liwei didn't jump but he still felt startled inside. He didn't dwell on his reaction because his heart ached upon seeing his wife's heaving shoulders as she covered her mouth to muffle her cries. He lifted her and sat on the stool himself before placing his wife on his lap.
"It was a complete lie, Liwei! I wasn't…the music I played wasn't for the people who were murdered that night! It was for me! All for me! I played for myself! The music was for my self-commemoration of my…own death! It was to…to…to celebrate my own escape, my freedom! Everything was for my own sake! My own selfishness! I was…I'm such a horrible, selfish person, aren't I?'
"No!" Jin Liwei grabbed her face and forced her to look at him straight in the eyes. His expression was serious, even angry. "Don't say that, Evelina! So what if you only thought about yourself that night? Was it your responsibility to protect other people? Did those people deserve to be protected by you, someone who always refused to participate in any of the organization's criminal activities?
"Evelina, listen to me! You are NOT horrible. You are NOT selfish. I know! You are my wife and I'm your husband. I know what kind of person you are and you know what kind of person I am. Do you think of me as a horrible person?"
She shook her head. "No, you aren't horrible…well, to tell you the truth, I thought you were a jerk but that was before we became lovers."
He winced and cleared his throat. "Actually, I was really a jerk back then but I changed because I love you and want to be with you. It's either to stay the same and let you go or change my bad ways for the better and prove to you how much I love you. I chose to become a better person because I can't bear to let you go. I would go crazy without you, baby. I love you. So much that it feels like my heart will burst."
Iris' lips trembled. The tears in her eyes sparkled like diamonds.
Jin Liwei kissed her eyes, tasting the slight saltiness of her tears. His heart continued to ache for her. He couldn't bear to see his wife crying like this.
"Believe me, baby. You're the most amazing woman…the most amazing person that I've ever met in my whole life. Stop feeling guilty because the basis of the guilt is wrong. You weren't horrible or selfish. In fact, I think that you were very brave."
Her eyes reddened even more. She clutched his shoulders. "That wasn't…bravery. That was cowardice!"
"No, you're wrong. You faced the enemies who came to kill you without running away. You might not have defended or fought back but you didn't escape on your own. You faced your own death with dignity while doing what you love—playing music. Evelina, you were brave…you're still very brave, and as your husband, I'm so proud of you, wife."
Iris studied his face. She could see his sincerity, feel it with her heart. His love for her was indeed overflowing because she swore that she could feel it like an almost tangible wave of warmth, bathing her in comfort, and easing any trauma she had deep inside.
"Liwei…I'm so lucky to have met you."
"No, love. I am the one who's lucky to have met you."
She giggled even when her tears continued to flow. "Then we must be both lucky to have met each other."
"En."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and oh so slowly pressed their lips together, rubbing oh so gently that it made her heart shake from the tenderness.
"I love you so much, Jin Liwei."
"Evelina, baby. I love you more."
The gentle kiss gradually became a little harder, a little deeper, and a little more intense.
They were flushed and panting when their moist, swollen lips finally separated. They stared into each other's eyes and found their love reflected there.
"Feel better?" he asked in a murmur.
She nodded before glancing at the piano. "I…still want to play this piano. My piano."
"Then go play. I'll be right here beside you. Always. Let's make better memories together with this piano. Lots and lots of good memories that you won't have the time to remember the bad, tragic ones from your past life."
"Yes, darling.. Let's do that."
