Jin Liwei was silent while studying the photo of his wife and brother-in-law from their past selves.
“What do you think?” Iris started to look nervous again.
“Hmm.”
Her hands tightened around his arm, waiting for him to say something.
“Actually….”
“Actually?”
He tapped his finger on his brother-in-law’s image. “I was expecting for your brother to look big with bulky muscles like how he transformed my Fifth Brother Zihao’s body. But he’s quite slim in this photo.”
His words distracted her from her nervousness. “Don’t be fooled by what you see on the outside. Big Brother Nikolai may have looked slim with clothes on but he actually had extremely powerful muscles. I have no doubt in my mind that despite looking smaller back then, he was stronger than he is now as Fifth Brother Zihao. Big Brother started training his body from childhood. He was like a well-oiled, high-performance machine. Even I was in awe at the things he could do with his strength and speed back then.”
Jin Liwei nodded. Although he didn’t witness it with his own eyes, he could imagine his brother-in-law’s original prowess when he was still the infamous Nikolai Vetrov. Just from reading the Vetrov report that his wife prepared for him, Jin Liwei knew that his brother-in-law had been an extremely dangerous man.
He felt a tug on his arm. “Hm? What is it, love?”
“Now that you’ve seen what I looked like before in my past life, what do you think about me now?” She was unable to conceal the anxiety in her expression.
His eyes widened in surprise before he frowned. “What do you mean? Evelina, did you think that I would feel differently about you after seeing how you looked like in your past life?”
She didn’t reply.
His frown deepened in disbelief. “Look at me.”
She did.
“Tell me what’s troubling you.”
“I already had these photos ready the day after you told me that you wanted to see photos of me but…it’s only now that I felt ready enough to show them to you. I was…worried about what you’ll feel after seeing my photos.”
He was confused but didn’t speak and instead waited for her to finish explaining.
“What if you don’t like how I looked like before? Does that mean that if we met when I was still Evelina, you won’t fall in love with me? And that you only love me now because I’m in Long Xiulan’s body?”
His mouth opened and closed. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing from her.
“My worries also go the other way. What if you like how I looked like before that you’ll wish that you’re with me in my original body? Will you love me less now?”
He stared at her. Seeing the genuine worry, no, fear in her eyes, he released a long frustrated breath before running his hand through his hair.
“Evelina, those words are probably the most offensive thing that you’ve told me ever since we got together.”
She froze for a few seconds. “O-offen…sive? How?”
“I’m offended because I feel like you’re still doubting my love for you at this point in our relationship. You really think that I’ll love you less after seeing the difference in your past and current life’s appearances?”
Now that he was talking like this, he could feel anger rising up from the pit of his stomach like sour acid.
Iris finally realized that her worries had hurt him. “I…messed up, didn’t I?”
His lips pressed into a thin, hard line as he did his best to control his anger. He didn’t want to fight with his wife about this matter.
“I’m not doubting your love. Not at all! I just…” She looked frustrated while trying to express herself. “Is it wrong for me to have these worries, Liwei?”
It was clear that she was now starting to become agitated. Her complexion changed and didn’t look right either. His anger cooled down in an instant as his concern for her well-being took over.
“Love, let’s stop this for now. Take a deep breath—”
“You don’t understand, Liwei! I’m a different person now! I’m Long Xiulan now but…but I’m not really her! Do you understand?! No, of course you don’t! How could you possibly understand how I feel?! I’m Evelina…I’m Evelina but nobody knows….”
He pulled her and hugged her tightly, not letting her go even when she resisted. The front of his chest immediately turned damp from her tears.
“I know that you’re Evelina.” He rubbed her trembling back and felt his shirt getting more soaked. “I know who you are, baby. Even if the rest of the world forgets, I won’t. Your Big Brother Nikolai also won’t forget. He’s in the same situation as you. Look at me.”
She reluctantly lifted her head and looked at him. He pulled tissue from a box on the table and wiped her tears.
“Please don’t ever doubt my loyalty to you, Evelina. I fell in love with you because of the real you. If you aren’t in this body, I wouldn’t even give Long Xiulan a second glance. Regardless of which body you’re using, I’ll continue to love you for who you are, so don’t worry about it anymore. Okay?”
She rubbed her tender cheek against his warm palm before nodding.
Jin Liwei sighed in relief after seeing her finally calming down. However, he took note of this outburst of hers. It appeared that his wife still had some lingering issues about living as another person. Indeed, he couldn’t fully understand what it must be like. There was also no quick fix for an issue like this.
His wife needed to resolve this shadow in her heart slowly but surely with time. All he could do was to continue making her feel loved and cherished no matter what.
A thought entered his mind.
His wife always appeared hesitant whenever she talked about her past life. He could feel her desire to bury it where it belonged—the past. Right now, however, it became clear that she could never forget who she was in the past—Evelina Vetrova. And that it was creating some kind of identity crisis with her current life as Iris Long.
Perhaps it would be better for her to confront her past life in a more unreserved manner instead of trying to run away from it like she had been doing so far.
