“I’ll have my men stay here to guard you.” Zeres said as they both stood outside the bookstore. Though he tried to contain his excitement, Iryz could clearly see his whole body shivering slightly in eagerness in wanting to sprint off and get moving with the spell.
“Oh, there is no need for that.” Iryz waved her hands. “I don’t think anyone will still come here to cause trouble. What they’re looking for is already in your hands, isn’t it? And I don’t think there’s still any other valuable things they need here. Now go. You’re in a rush, aren’t you?” she knew he was barely holding himself back from flying over to where that lady was. Her heart ached at the thought. Was it just her fate that even in two lifetimes, there was no chance of her and Zeres getting together as a couple?
Zeres stared down at her. Seemingly trying to gauge her every expression. Somehow, he had a feeling that something was a little off with her after they got out of that enchanted space. But he could not focus enough to figure it out yet. His mind was fully focussed on getting the spell going to help Alicia.
Afraid that he would be able to see through her façade, Iryz grabbed him and tried to turn him around and out of the door, so he would finally leave. She did not need his pity.
“Iryz, I –”
“Goodbye, Zeres.” She cut him off and gave him a big smile as she let go of him. Then she abruptly turned around to return into her house.
But Zeres’ words stopped her just before she could close the door. “I will come back once everything’s settled in my end, Iryz. I mean what I said before. I don’t go back on my words.” He told her seriously. He wanted to reassure her that he would uphold his end of their bargain in getting him to stand as her model for her sketches. He thought that was what she was worrying about.
Iryz stood still at the door for a long while, but she took a deep breath and shook her head.
“No, there is no need to, Zeres. Please don’t come back. I’m calling the bargain off because I don’t want to draw you anymore.” Iryz knew her words were quite harsh. So she softened the blow by flashing him a grin as though she was fine with it. Only she knew in her heart how bitter that grin was.
Zeres’s eyes stretched wide, totally taken aback at her words. Then his throat worked. “You’re saying I am not welcome here anymore?” he did not know why she had suddenly pulled out of their agreement. Was she not the one who had bugged him incessantly about wanting to draw him in multiple poses? There was an unknown discomfort deep down that he could not quite put into words. Was he feeling bad on not being able to hold his end of the bargain? He was not sure.
“Yes.” Iryz replied without any hesitation and his fingers clenched a little into a fist.
“Right. I’m so sorry.” His voice softened and the guilt in his expression had returned as he looked at the few visible whip marks that had yet to disappear on her skin. “I’ve caused you nothing but trouble and…”
“No. That’s not it!” Iryz whipped around and looked at him, wide eyed. Her expression was not so composed anymore. “It’s just that… just that… I keep falling for you every day even though I know full well that you love someone else!” she blurted out. She could no longer hold it in after seeing his guilty looking face and lowered head. She did not want to see the person she loves now and in her past life being hurt at all – even if it was due to a misunderstanding. She would rather reveal her love for him and embarrass herself than allow him to be hurt.
She gritted her teeth at the realization of what she had just said. But she was quick to gather her composure. The cat is already out of the bag. There was no use in her holding back anymore. She held his gaze courageously and seeing the surprise in them made her heart thud like crazy within her. Those silvery eyes still had so much power to affect her even just by looking at her without speaking. Still, she continued steadily. “I keep wanting you more and more the longer you stay here. So… so don’t come back anymore because… I need to stop falling for you now, Zeres. You see…?” she forced out a pained smile. “It’s really hard falling for someone who loves someone else… someone who will never return what you feel… I’m afraid I will just hurt myself even more if I continue seeing you. More so now that you are treating me so nicely, that you’re no longer ignoring me as you did before. I keep mistaking your kindness for something else even though I know I should not. So…” then she shrugged helplessly, not knowing what else to say.
She wanted so badly to say that he should understand her feelings as he had once experienced how it was loving someone and not being loved back. But she knew she could not. He did not know about her past life and the memory that she had witnessed while in that enchanted space. She would take this secret to the grave with her.
Her smile widened even more as her eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “So this will be goodbye, Zeres. I wish you all the best with your beloved. Live a happy life with her.” she wished him sincerely and with her whole heart. No matter how much she was hurting, she just wanted him to be happy and able to be together with the person that he loves.
She flashed her warmest smile before she finally turned around. Her tears silently falling as heavy drops as she shut the door closed behind her. She did not want him seeing her sad and teary face. Let him only remember her happy and smiling face.
Zerez just stood there, utterly stunned while staring at the closed door. He could not quite wrap his head around what he had just heard from Iryz – her confession to him that he had not expected the least.
