Another five years passed.
Ah Zhu said that she was willing to divorce. With Zhao Quanfu’s reputation, there would be other ladies willing to marry him and give him children.
It was the first time that Zhao Quanfu got angry and said that she was the only woman for him and there would never be another.
Ah Zhu was so touched that she cried in his arms. Zhao Quanfu had always been honest and kind, but at that moment, his body froze and guilt filled his eyes. He felt as if he had lied to his wife even if he had never done anything wrong to her.
But…perhaps he had really fallen slightly in love with the statues he carved. There were times when he stayed in that wooden room, which had now expanded, and did not want to leave.
But eventually, he resisted.
Zhao Quanfu tried to stop carving. But it was as if this was something imprinted in his bones; he found that he could not stop.
Ten years, ten years, another ten years.
A few batches of elderly people in the village had gone. Looking at his reflection in a washbasin, Zhao Quanfu found that he had turned into someone with white hair and wrinkles all over.
The children in the village all enjoyed being with this old couple. Not only because the old granny made delicious sweets, but also because the small animals carved by Grandpa Fu delighted them.
“Grandpa Fu! Grandpa Fu!”
“Granny! Granny!”
After school, a bunch of monkeys dashed into their yards. They were startled by what they saw and fell silent. It was because today, many parents and grandparents were gathered in their yard.
Hearing the commotion, Zhao Quanfu came out of his house. He handed the sweets to the children as his voice trembled, “Granny is sick, I don’t have time to make toys for you today. I will do so in a few days.”
Two days later, it was in the middle of the night when the granny’s illness took a turn for the worse. The only physician in the village looked extremely guilty as he clasped his hands together, “Old mister, old miss does not have much time left.”
He was one generation younger than them and had gotten sweets and wooden play toys from them in the past. Towards this childless couple, who still treated everyone kindly and loved all of them, he was filled with utter respect.
Zhao Quanfu fell silent for a while before speaking softly, “It’s alright. In the past she always said that she would not pass on later. She never told anyone, but she is actually someone who is afraid of the dark. Back when we first married, I always startled her in the middle of the night, she must have suffered quite a few shocks…” As he said this, his voice startled to tremble.
He controlled his emotions as he cupped his hands respectfully to the people in the room, “We don’t have any children and I am afraid that I will have to ask for your help tomorrow. Before she passes on, I have a few things that I want to say to her alone. Please wait outside.”
Everyone got up and nodded, leaving silently. Zhao Quanfu moved to the bedside as he held his partner’s hand, “You always said that you were afraid of us being lonely when we grew old and worried about what would happen if we fell sick or had an accident. Now, there is no need to worry. You are leaving so early and will suffer a lot less. Moreover, I am here to send you off. There is nothing to be afraid of.”
As if she could hear his voice, the granny opened her eyes after a few seconds, “I was not afraid of myself but worried for you. Today, you are sending me off, but who will send you off?” As she said this, tears rolled down from her eyes.
Zhao Quanfu smiles, “I am still healthy and will live for many more years. I will think about this in the future. Don’t worry about it.”
The granny’s face started to redden, and seeing this, his eyes reddened as well.
“Don’t cry…”
“I am not crying; my eyes are just tired from staying up. Everyone will experience this. You are leaving first, but I will reunite with you very soon.” Zhao Quanfu hesitated before speaking softly, “There is something that I have felt guilty about for my entire life; if I don’t tell you, I will not be able to be at peace.”
Looking into the granny’s eyes he said, “A long time ago, I started to like the statues I carved. Although they are just statues, it still felt wrong. I was afraid that you would not let me continue to make them and never dared to tell you. Will you forgive me?”
The granny nodded, “I knew it a long time ago. The way you look at your statues is obvious…but she is just a statue, and I am the one who stayed beside you for your life. I am magnanimous and will not fight with her for your heart…”
Zhao Quanfu trembled as fear and shame filled his eyes. He did not know that the deepest secret that he had been hiding had already been known a long time ago.
“Ah Zhu, I have wronged you, I…”
The granny smiled, “I said I won’t blame you. I don’t regret being able to spend my life with you…it’s just that I am slightly regretful about not being able to know who this woman is…
“Old man, my time is up, don’t be upset and take care of yourself.”
The granny passed on. Although there were tears in the corners of her eyes, she looked serene.
Zhao Quanfu held her hand until the sky lit up. He then walked out and requested help with handling the funeral.
After that, his days alone were dull. Thankfully the children from the village would occasionally come to ask him for toys, and this helped Zhao Quanfu to adjust.
He no longer needed to farm or hunt. The villagers were willing to serve him as he grew old. Zhao Quanfu could finally stay in the wooden room all day and accompany his statues.
“When Ah Zhu died, she said she had some regrets. Even I feel regretful. Who are you? Where are you? In this life, I think I will never get a chance to meet you. Actually, I don’t have anything I want, I just want to ask you who exactly is Qin Yu?”
The wooden room had expanded even more throughout the years and now occupied almost the entire back garden. All that was left was an old man murmuring to himself.
Finally, there was someone in the village who was willing to learn to be a craftsman. He was an eight-year-old boy called Mu Sheng. He kowtowed respectfully to Zhao Quanfu.
It was like Mu Sheng was born to learn the craft. He learned extremely fast and was skilled in the craft after just two months. Zhao Quanfu handed over the wooden tools next to him. However, the enormous wooden room in his backyard was out of bounds to Mu Sheng.
Children were often curious and mischievous. After resisting for very long, Mu Sheng found an opportunity to enter the wooden room. He saw numerous statues of the same woman, and they were all extremely beautiful.
Because of this, Zhao Quanfu grew furious at him and slapped him. But even though he was crying because of the pain, Mu Sheng still wiped his eyes and looked up to ask, “Grandpa Fu, who is this beautiful woman?”
This question made Mu Sheng suffer a few more hits before he was chased out. Zhao Quanfu looked around the wooden room.
Even he did not know the answer to that question.
Mu Sheng was very obedient and did not tell anyone about the statues. It became a secret between them.
Spring came and autumn passed. Another three years passed.
This year’s winter was extremely cold. Zhao Quanfu coughed as he looked at the snow falling outside. He suddenly had a realization: his days were coming to an end.
He was not afraid, nor was he indignant. In his heart, there was even an unexplainable release.
The sound of someone walking through the snow could be heard. Mu Sheng appeared at his door. “Grandpa Fu, I am here with food for you. The dumplings my mother made are very delicious and they were just cooked. I rushed over for you. You should eat before they go cold.”
Zhao Quanfu smiled and nodded, “Thank you. It is snowing heavily and about to turn dark, so you should hurry home for dinner.”
Mu Sheng looked at him, “Grandpa Fu, I ate before coming over. I will be spending the night with you.”
Zhao Quanfu was determined to chase him away. Mu Sheng hesitated before telling him to ring the bell if he needed anything. He said that his ears were very sharp and would definitely be able to hear.
After receiving Zhao Quanfu’s acknowledgment, he then turned to leave.
Zhao Quanfu looked at the bell hanging on a string beside the door. He then got up to open the thick cloth. Hot steaming dumplings appeared in front of him. They were delicious.
It was a pity that as he grew older, his appetite was not as great. There were still five dumplings left and he already felt full. He placed his chopsticks down.
He was going to stop here and leave the last five.
As he returned to lie on his bed, his life flashed through his mind. With a feeling of longing, he fell into the sweet darkness – the lady who had occupied his mind for his entire life. Who was Qin Yu? I am about to die, can’t I know this?
The snow fell heavily in the dark night. With the question that had filled his mind for his entire life still unanswered, the old man eventually stopped breathing.
……
Who am I? Where am I? Why is it so dark?
Crack –
Where is that sound from? That light is so blinding!
As he lifted his hand in front of him, his consciousness vaguely returned…I am Zhao Quanfu, I am dead…when I died, I had a question…that question was…
His arm suddenly froze.
After a while, a sigh could be heard.
So, I am Qin Yu!
