Chapter 476: Ah! I am Dying!
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
When Xu Que said ‘If you give yourself to me, I shall move the Earth,’ the
Water Empress was shocked.
“Are you asking for the throne?” She asked, puzzled
She didn’t understand Xu Que’s words and was having trouble thinking of what else they could have meant.
But wait. Xu Que couldn’t be asking for the throne. If he really wanted to rule over a nation, he would have proclaimed himself emperor when he was in the Fire Nation. Maybe he just needed her help?
“Little guy, you want me to lend you a hand in order to help you, right?” the Water Empress asked in a soft voice, smiling slightly.
Xu Que was overjoyed. Lend a hand to me? I didn’t expect the elegant and conservative Water Empress to be so open! She even wants to use her hands!
He replied by nodding his head hurriedly. “A hand would be fine!”
For the first time, she can use hand. Next time, she can use her mouth. This is totally acceptable for me as an Acting Tough King!
“This thing that you will move, the Earth. What is the Earth? Is it so heavy that you need my help to pry it up?” the Water Empress asked with a smile, for she hadn’t figured out Xu Que’s filthy thoughts.
What? Xu Que thought. Now I know we are not talking about the same subject! What the h*ll? As a handsome Acting Tough King, why is it so difficult for me to flirt with a girl?
“Ahem, the Earth is just…a planet, which can’t be seen from here,” Xu Que said ruefully.
“You want to pry up a planet? With what?”
This little guy is really unusual! she thought. Why would anyone want to pry a planet up? He talks about lifting a planet like it’s very small, but planets are in fact very big. What kind of tool in this world could be used to pry a planet up?
“Ah, it’s just a metaphor.” Xu Que said. “As for the tool I will use to pry it up, it definitely will be my…body!”
He couldn’t allow himself to break the rule that “d*ck” was a forbidden word. Therefore, he used “body” to replace it. Xu Que was so excited that he was about to point at the area between his legs.
The Water Empress was very confused and couldn’t figure out what Xu Que menat. She had no idea that he was from Earth and was practically the king of filthy thoughts. Despite her confusion, she looked at Xu Que with a calm smile.
Now that the Water Empress was staring at him, Xu Que was a little bit nervous.
“OK, OK, I’ll take that as a consent,” he said prudishly. “I will start to cast the spell. Please step aside so you don’t get hurt!”
Xu Que readied himself, taking the Horse Stance. He then cast a spell randomly by stomping the earth with one foot, just like a crappy fortune teller who was inviting God. Xu Que then opened his eyes and gave an abrupt shout.
“Spirits! Follow the ancient covenant with my essence and blood! Hear my whisper and break the boundary of time and space!”
Xu Que then murmured some weird words, all in apparent seriousness.
The Water Empress thought Xu Que was joking at the very beginning. However, seeing how serious Xu Que’s face was and hearing the mysterious words he uttered, began to second guess herself.
Could it be that he really knows a magic art which can conjure up anything he wants?
“I call upon the covenant! I request with the bloodline! With my body as the tool and with my soul as sacrifice! Hear my words and fight for me!”
Xu Que continued to chant. Then he put his palms together abruptly and shouted, “Come out! Part Three of One Turning into Three Pure Pellucid Ones!”
Whoosh!
A jade slip instantly appeared. It was surrounded by a faint green halo. The slip flew out of his palm and floated in front of him.
“This…” The Water Empress was dumbfounded. She really thought Xu Que used some kind of formidable magic art to obtain Part Three of One Turning Into Three Pure Pellucid Ones.
But… this was way too ridiculous! She had never heard of such a miraculous magic art existing in this world.
“Oh, no! I am suffering from internal injuries!” At this moment, Xu Que sat on the ground, pressing his hands over his chest. His acting skills were d*mn good!
The Water Empress had no time to suspect. She bent over Xu Que, worried.
“What’s the matter?” she asked with a furrowed brow.
“Nothing, just leave me alone. Please check whether it is Part Three of One Turning Into Three Pure Pellucid Ones,” Xu Que said with fearless expression.
Shaking her head, the Water Empress took out a pill with her slim fingers and handed it to Xu Que.
“You are too reckless!” she said. “If you can really conjure up anything you want as you said, the cost must be very high. I can’t sense the injury in your body, but take this Vital Force Pill. I hope it’s helpful.”
“I’m really OK. Just check that jade slip first. Otherwise, I will not take the pill,” Xu Que said, pushing the Water Empress’ slim hand away with a solemn expression.
Unable to dissuade him, the Water Empress took the jade slip and checked it with her Soul Strength. She was shocked. It really was Part Three of One Turning into Three Pure Pellucid Ones! After so many years of clueless searching, Part Three of this book had just appeared like this!
“How can this be possible?” The Water Empress was amazed.
Xu Que couldn’t help smiling at the thought of how amazing his acting skills were. However, the Water Empress turned around before he could act solemn again. He was caught red-handed.
“Ahem, it seems this is really Part Three of the book,” Xu Que said, pretending he was smiling in relief. “So, I will die without any regrets.”
The Water Empress saw right through his act this time.
“You naughty little guy. You obtained this book before, didn’t you,” the Water Empress said with a calm smile.
Xu Que flushed a bit. She had caught on to him. However, as an Acting Tough King, he could never admit defeat.
“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about! Ah, no! I am dying! This magic art is too horrible. I need to cure my injuries alone!” Xu Que said, pretending he was about to die.
Seeing through his trick, the Water Empress was not angry, but chose to watch his performance with a bit of embarrassment.
“That’s enough. Just get up. I have been searching for Part Three for so many years. I didn’t expect you to have it. Maybe this was determined by fate,” she exclaimed, shaking her head and smiling ruefully. She then started to get a close-up look at that jade slip in her hand.
“…” Xu Que didn’t reply. He chose to lie on the ground and continued to play dead by shutting his eyes.
What is the most important merit of an actor? Xu Que thought. Yeah, it’s dedication! An actor who is playing dead shall never stand up if the director doesn’t shout out the word “Cut!”
“What? This jade slip doesn’t look that old,” she said. “Little guy, where did you get this jade slip?” She looked at Xu Que lying on the ground. “Little guy, that’s enough, just stand up!”
If he stood up now, he would be so embarrassed!
“No, I am injured. I need a kiss to stand up,” Xu Que said. He shut his eyes, as if in pain.
The Water Empress’s eyes widened. She was stunned.
A…a kiss?
The Xu Que and the Water Empress were at a stalemate. The atmosphere in the room was quite weird…
At this moment, Buttface, who was walking down through the halls of the Imperial Palace, passed by the open door. He looked over and saw Xu Que lying on the ground.
“Holy sh*t! Thank God!” Buttface said in delight, his eyes shining. “Finally, this guy is down. Let me wake him up with a Hua Tuo Kick!”
Howl!
Buttface dashed in and gave Xu Que a swift, direct kick.
