Chapter 247: Unusual Weddings
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
Other surrounding treasure hunters flocked to the sound of commotion and stared strangely at the family.
Someone asked the auctioneer, “Pal, what’s happening?”
The auctioneer was also baffled by the bizarre situation. “I don’t know either. I better make a phone call—if you would excuse me.”
While the auctioneer spoke on the phone, the family was still arguing and yelling.
Li Du turned to Hans. “Hey, since you’re so knowledgeable about this industry, do you have an idea what’s going on?”
“Thank you for your praise, buddy,” Hans answered. “I’m happy to accept it. But I have no idea what’s going on either.”
The young woman, Avril, started to kick the door of unit 19 and she was yelling, “Open the door! Open the door now!”
Avril turned to her dad and brother. “Please help me open the door!”
The young blonde man stopped Avril and said sternly, “Stop behaving like this, you’ve embarrassed our family. For the sake of God, please stop this.”
“He’s right—what have we done that you need to punish us like this?” The middle-aged woman believed to be Avril’s mother, was in tears.
Avril appeared to be agitated. “Mom, I love you—I love my family!” she said, then pointed to the storage unit. “I just don’t understand why I can’t love a storage unit—have I hurt anyone?”
“That hurt us!” Avril’s father answered with a grim face.
Avril asked, “Why? I’ve worked hard in my job, I love my life, I treat everyone sincerely. Why can’t my family accept the fact that I love a storage unit?”
A treasure hunter called out, “Sir, Madam, I think you need to really calm down and talk things over peacefully. I think I heard correctly that this young lady here likes a storage unit. That’s nothing, we all love storage units—”
“Hey bro, it’s none of your business, okay?” The young blonde man said rather impatiently.
Avril broke into a smile when she heard that. “See? I’m not the only one—everyone likes storage units!”
Avril’s father gave a roar of rage. “Are they the same as you? You want to marry a storage unit!” he shouted. “You want to marry this d*mn thing! You can ask them—ask them if they will marry a storage unit!”
Li Du was stunned and confused. He scratched his ears and asked, “Sorry bud, did I hear you right? You said something about marrying a storage unit?”
Hans looked slightly taken aback as well. “You heard it correctly. This girl’s an objectophile.”
Li Du knew about objectophilia. He had heard and read about men with a fetish for legs; some were obsessed with stockings, and some were head over heels for high-heeled shoes. He had also heard of people who had fallen in love with neckties or leather shoes and so on.
But falling in love with a storage unit? This was definitely the first time he had heard of something like this.
“I don’t care about their choice,” Avril said in frustration. “Dad, Mom, if you love me, please respect my decision. I really didn’t mean to hurt anyone—I just want to follow my heart.”
Someone from the storage company arrived and went up to the family. “Should we go to the office for a talk, Mr. Larry? No point in making a scene here.”
Avril yelled, “No, I’m not going anywhere, open the storage unit!”
Avril’s brother tried to drag her away by force. She looked upset, agitated, and suddenly she took out a pistol from her handbag and pointed at them.
She looked distraught and pleaded desperately, “No! Don’t push me! Don’t push me any further!”
The sight of the pistol caused an uproar amongst the crowd of treasure hunters. They quickly backed off and one of them immediately called 9-1-1.
The young woman’s father, Mr. Larry, had a pained expression on his face. “Holy sh*t! Avril, what are you doing? You’re pointing a gun at your father and your beloved family?”
For a moment Avril’s hands seemed to shake, but she collected herself and said, “I don’t know Dad, I don’t want to hurt any of you. But you shouldn’t take Benjamin away from me!”
“That’s a storage unit!” Mr. Larry cried out hysterically.
The situation did not look good. Hans briskly walked up to them, holding up both arms and said, “Let’s calm down first, everyone. All of us need to calm down. Take a deep breath, okay? Everyone just take a deep breath.”
“Who are you?” Avril glared at Hans.
Hans replied, “I’m similar to you—at least, I understand you. I understand people like us.”
Everyone looked at Hans, including Avril and her family members.
Hans stated a fact. “In 2007, Erika La Brie from San Francisco held a wedding ceremony with the Eiffel Tower and changed her name to the Erika Eiffel.”
Mr. Larry exclaimed, “What? No!”
“Then there’s this Japanese man,” Hans continued, “he’s obsessed with a character in a computer game called ‘LovePlus.’ In 2009, he held a wedding ceremony in Tokyo to marry his virtual bride.”
“That’s fake!” someone exclaimed.
Hans gave the person a glare and said, “Of course it’s true. I still remember that the name of fellow was Taka Kato! Their wedding was held at the Tokyo University of Technology with a pastor, and the couple went on a honeymoon in Guam!”
Li Du thought the name of Taka Kato had sounded familiar and mulled it over for a while. But being a good partner, Li Du chose to keep quiet and convinced himself that it was definitely not the Taka Kato that he knew.
Hans continued talking with ease and fluency. “There’s also this Swedish lady called Rita who got married to the Berlin wall. She also held a wedding ceremony and changed her last name to Berliner-Maurer which means ‘Berlin Wall’ in German.”
“But the Berlin Wall was demolished, right?” Avril’s brother wondered aloud.
Hans shrugged, and heaved a sigh of sadness, “Yes, the poor lady lost her husband when the wall was pulled down. But isn’t that common? There are a lot of widows everywhere in the world right?”
Some treasure hunters could not help bursting into laughter after hearing what Hans said. It was evident that they felt Hans was just talking nonsense.
Li Du eyeballed these people with a displeased look, furrowed his eyebrows and gave a warning, “Just shut up—don’t mess things up, and move back further!”
If Li were to say this in the past, he would’ve been attacked verbally by the treasure hunters.
Now that he had fame and a good reputation, the treasure hunters actually listened to him and backed off further without any verbal retaliation.
Hans continued to appease the young lady: “Avril, you’re Avril right? I’m Hans Fox. Glad to meet you. Would you please put down the gun? Let’s have a good talk with each other.”
Avril was still tense. “I’m not a pervert! It’s not wrong of me to like a storage unit, right?”
Hans spoke in an assuring tone: “Of course, you’re not a pervert. None of us are perverts. If this is considered perverted, then all Nepalese people are perverts!”
Li Du quickly asked, “Why do you say that?”
Hans laughed, “Don’t you know? Every year on January 28th, in Kathmandu, there’s a marriage ceremony called Ihi.
“In this marriage ceremony, little girls are ‘married’ to the bael fruit. A Newar girl marries thrice during her life—her first marriage is to the wood apple and her second marriage is with the sun.
“See? Is there a difference between their ‘husbands’ and the storage unit?”
Li Du nodded his head and said, “There’s no difference—nothing wrong with that!”
Avril finally showed a more relaxed expression.
Hans gently waved and said, “Take a deep breath, put down your gun. Do you want to shoot someone in your boyfriend’s presence? Do you think he’ll like a violent girl?”
The blonde girl finally handed the gun to Hans and said, “No, I have no other way out. You know how I feel right?”
Hans took the pistol and replied, “Of course, I understand.”
Now that the gun was put away, the worst had been prevented.
