“Hello! We are the love, love, lovely girls from Lovely Girlz!”
We were now practicing the group greeting. Finger heart in front, finger heart on chest, arm heart on top of our head. And then a 105 degree bow altogether.
‘Fuck, this is annoying,” I said to myself.
What the hell was I doing? I’m thirty, for god’s sake. This is too much for me. Sadly, I was the only one who thought that way. Everyone else loved the greeting and loved to practice it. Well, considering the fact that this meant their dreams were coming true, I guess it made sense. Jia was especially crazy about it.
“Sian, you need to bend more,” she said to me.
“Okay.”
“And your smile needs to be bigger.”
“Got it.”
“Can’t you wear a skirt too?”
“Nope.”
I refuse to wear a skirt. Why the hell would I wear one? Anyways, we were still practicing when Jinwoo walked in.
“Hello!” we all greeted him loudly.
Jinwoo greeted us back with a wave.
“Hi guys. How’s practice going?”
“Good!” We all answered.
“That’s good. Be sure to practice and get some rest this week.”
Jinwoo gave us a kind-looking smile. But wait, how were we supposed to rest and practice at the same time?
“And Sian, could I see you for a second?”
“Me?”
“Yes,” Jinwoo confirmed with a nod.
“Are you going to buy me food?”
“….”
Jinwoo pressed his lips together. He tends to do that everytime I bring up the subject of food.
“So, are you?” I asked again.
Jinwoo didn’t answer.
“Then…at least buy me coffee.”
“Okay!”
***
We ended up at a nearby café. Jinwoo sat across from me.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Right,” I said, looking directly at him.
Bastard kept trying to avoid eye contact. I could detect a hint of remorse in them which meant that he was about to make me do more stuff. I can sense these things just by looking at him now.
“You know you’re going to film a sitcom right?”
“You already told me. You even signed the contract without asking.”
“Oh, uh…right. Well anyways, that will probably take a couple of months.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Mu-music is filming the first season of Un-Position Rapstar and they want to cast you.”
“Me?”
I already heard from Jia, but I still pretended to be surprised.
“Yes, you.”
“Why me? There’s better rappers. There’s Yoo-jin, Jia, and…no one else.”
To be honest, neither of them were rappers. They might spit a line or two while they sing though. We really needed Minji for this sort of thing. Jinwoo definitely looked like he was regretting this.
“Do you want to do it?”
“Did you sign the contract already?”
“Of course. Don’t you know me by now?”
“So why do you keep asking me then? It’s annoying.”
I didn’t curse at him, but he knew I was angry. Why does he never ask me before he decides?
“I’m very sorry, but you’ll do it, right? Since mu-music helped us with the program, we owe them. And someone already leaked that you’ll be on the show. Didn’t you read the articles? You should read the comments. The netizens really want to see you on the show.”
‘You probably leaked it yourself, you asshole,’ I said to myself.
I’m positive that it was Jinwoo who told the reporters.
“But I have the commercial and all the events that we have to go to. My schedule is already packed.”
“That’s okay. I’ll take care of that. We can just take you out for the ad photoshoot. The money will be split amongst all of you guys anyway.”
“That’ll be good.”
“But there are some that will really need you so if that happens, you’re going to have to take one for the team.”
“Okay.”
If they need me, I should go. They’re paying me, after all.
“So when does the filming start?”
“Next week. Since you’re a special guest, you’ll get some special treatment.”
“I bet people will like that.”
“You’ll probably get some negative comments, but you can chalk that up to experience.”
“You’re pretty optimistic since it’s not about you.”
“It’s important to be optimistic,” Jinwoo said with a bright smile.
Can I kick him?
“So, what am I supposed to do?”
I wanted to know the premise of the show. I should at least know that much.
“I actually don’t know myself. The only thing I know is that it’s purely rap battles.”
“Rap battles?”
“Yeah, you’ll be battling it out with other rappers. It’s what you’re good at.”
“Sounds like fun,” I said with a wide smile.
“But you’ll be doing it with lyrics.”
“We can’t use fists?”
“Of course not.”
“Aw.”
Too bad.
“Anyways, what do you think?”
“I guess I can do it. But, Jin…I mean, sir.”
I almost called him by his first name again.
“Yeah? Oh, but Sian.”
“Yes?”
“I know you guys call me Jinwoo behind my back.”
“Oh, you do?”
I gave him a sheepish smile. So he knew, huh?
“Yeah, it’s okay. It can happen. But…”
“But?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Oh, okay,” I said with a nod.
He seemed pretty serious about it. I made a note to tell the others.
“So what were you saying?”
“Well, is it okay that I’m the only one who’s getting booked? I’m sure the other members will want some opportunities as well. I’m the only one who gets to do these things.”
“You’re just meant for it.”
“What?”
“Oh no, I mean…hehehe. That’s… well, that’s usually what happens. Everyone has their moments to shine. How much longer do you think the spotlight will stay on you? Soon, the attention will go from you to another member. Everyone will have their chance.”
“I see.”
For the first time, I found myself agreeing with Jinwoo. He was right. Everyone had their moment to shine. I just simply got my time before the other members.
“Anyways, I’ll take it as you agreeing to the show.”
“Not like you expected anything else.”
“Oh, uh…right…”
“But shouldn’t you buy me food then?”
“….”
Jinwoo pressed his lips again. I’m sure he was thinking of that day when he gave me his card after the match. I had taken Eun-soon out to eat and we ended up spending 2 grand. On food. And it wasn’t just me who used the card. We all used it to buy food. We wanted to keep going but we ended up hitting the daily limit. Jinwoo certainly didn’t expect us to spend that much so I didn’t blame him for being reluctant.
“Should I give you my card?”
“It’s not like you don’t have money.”
“Yeah, that’s…that’s true…”
Jinwoo slowly slid his card towards me. His hand was shaking and he did not look happy about this. I swiftly took the card out of his hand. Then I told him, “Breathe.”
“….”
***
Days passed and eventually, it was the first day of filming Un-Position Rapstar.
“Sian, get in,” Manager Lee said to me.
Standing next to him was Jun-jin, filming me with his camera. The other members of Lovely Girlz were with me as well.
“Already?”
“Yeah, we need to get you there early so we can prepare.”
“I’ll get in after I finish eating,” I said, holding up a sandwich I bought at the convenient store.
“You can eat inside.”
“I’ll get motion sick.”
“Oh.”
“We’ve been together for how long and you still don’t know that?”
“Ah..that’s…haha…”
Manager Lee gave a sheepish smile. It was true though. I really do get motion sickness. It’s a…how do I put it…my body’s physical way of response? If I’m just riding a car, I’m fine, but if I eat something while the car is moving, I get sick. It’s funny, isn’t it? I thought it was.
“Hurry up.”
“You need to wait.”
I stuffed the whole sandwich into my mouth. I can fit a lot into my mouth. But you know what’s strange? Even though I eat this much, I don’t have to go to the bathroom that often. Of course, I still go, but not as much as an average person would have to. I remember someone asked me this one.
[Where does all your food go?]
[I have no idea.]
I really don’t know. For Yoo-jin, it goes to her chest. My chest was already big enough so the food didn’t go there. And it’s not like I go to the bathroom that much either. It’s like the food just transforms from solid into air. Like my stomach acid is so strong that it just made the food disappear. There are people who can eat stuff like iron and digest it just fine. I’m like that. The point is, I can’t be the only one.
After finishing the sandwich, I hopped into the van. The other members followed me in. They were coming with me in the name of support. They can’t actually come with me onto the set, but they could still come with me to the waiting room.
“Sian, aren’t you scared?” Jia asked.
She had a worried look on her face. She’s always worried for me. She really does become more lovable, the more I look at her. If I were to turn back into a guy, I would definitely come back for Jia. But will I be able to turn back into a guy…? Even if I could, it’d be a problem. I’m from a completely different world.
“Me? Why?”
“Don’t you read the articles? Lil Sniper is going to be on the show too.”
“Lil Sniper?”
It’s the first time I’ve heard that name. I don’t remember meeting anyone named Lil Sniper.
“You don’t know her? She’s big in the non-mainstream industry. She’s C-Night’s senior…”
“Oh, really?”
C-Night. She’s afraid to even show her face around me ever since I beat her. Beat her ass, I mean.
“You shouldn’t take this so lightly. Lil Sniper is really scary. They say she’s worse than C-Night,” Jia said.
“You’re going to be miserable,” Ji-hyun added.
“Whoever she is, I dare her to try something. I’m not scared.”
Everyone giggled at my words.
We continue chatting until we arrived at mu-music studio. We all headed for the waiting room. The stylists started their work on me and Jia helped as well. The other members continued to hang around, gossiping away.
“Who’s the judge for Un-Position Rapstar?” I asked Jia. If anyone would know, it’d be her.
“Snake.”
“Really?”
Hmm, Snake got his ass handed to him by me as well. I mean, I didn’t hit him or anything. But I did one up him with that barbell. He’s been avoiding me ever since. But hearing that he was the judge put me even more at ease.
After a while, I had to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t help but admire my reflection in the mirror. I would totally date me if I could. A small, angular face with good proportions and attractive features. Especially my eyes – large with the coveted double eyelids. To think that my old self used to be such a pig. If only she had done this sooner. Anyways, the youngest producer of Un-Position Rapstar showed up, telling me it was time to go.
“Hey guys, I have to go now.”
“Good luck, Sian!”
Everyone called out their support for me.
“Thanks. And don’t worry guys. I’m going to kick their ass.”
With that, I finished with a grin and walked out of the waiting room.
Rap. To be honest, I’m not that good at it. I did take some classes, but I’m still not confident in my skills. But dissing someone, that I could do. I’m not just the strongest physically, but verbally as well. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m going to fight everything. Jinwoo even put in a special request – please, please don’t beat someone up. And to watch my words, since I was now a girl group member. That meant especially no cursing. Then again, what am I supposed to do? Now that I think about it, this was really starting to piss me off. But anyways, here I was.
“Can I go in now?”
“Not yet. You need to wait a bit. One of the rappers is still introducing herself,” the PD said. Then with a smile, he added, “There’s no need to be afraid.”
“Afraid?”
What did he mean by that? Who said I was afraid?
“Yeah. All the people who come are pretty well known, and they grew up and hang out in the streets. I’m sure what you’re feeling is ten times worse.”
“Don’t worry about me,” I said with a smile.
The only thing I’m worried about is that they may say something disrespectful to me. They better control themselves when they’re not dissing me…that’s really it.
“But can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“You know I can’t rap, right? So why did you pick me?”
“Oh, I’m sure Mr. Park told you, but we really think you’ll be good on the show. For entertainment purposes, we want someone who has the potential to grow and improve as a rapper. We think you fit that profile.”
“Grow as a rapper.”
That’s true. Every show needs an underdog. The people love to support those people. Am I willing to be that person?
“Sounds like fun,” I said.
“We expect a lot from you, actually. You’ll have to really prove yourself and earn the respect of the other rappers.”
“Okay. I’ll do my best.”
To be honest, I actually liked the idea of being that underdog who would prove herself im the end. So, is Lil Sniper supposed to be the antagonist?
