Drip drip drip dip…
“Looks good,” I said, watching the warthog meat roast over the fire. I could feel drool coming out of my mouth. And it wasn’t just me either. Everyone was staring, waiting, and drooling in anticipation.
“Come here, Mr. Yoo,” I said to Lobster Head, who ran over quickly. Remember – Mr. Yoo is Lobster head.
“But you know,” Byung-hoon said. His face seemed suspicious as everyone looked at him.
“His insides were all torn up…”
“What?” Everyone asked.
“We were cleaning out the inside of the pig and…his insides were all torn up. I was shocked. I wonder what happened.”
Byung-hoon shook his head, truly lost for words. I couldn’t blame him. What kind of warthog would suddenly fall over dead while running? Not only that, but the insides were all torn up as well. It would shock anyone. The truth about the stone I had shot flying in through the animal’s butthole, tearing through the insides, and out its mouth would be something that no one could even imagine.
“Pfft.” I suddenly laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Miyeon asked me.
“Nothing,” I answered. Then, I looked off in the distance. The other team was trying to catch fish, but it seemed like they weren’t having much luck.
“Fuck this! Where the fuck is the Giant Blue?”
“I thought this river was teeming with them.”
“I can’t get anything else either!”
They were sitting there, holding their fishing rods, and cursing the whole time.
“Pitiful,” I clicked my tongue. They were incredibly sure. Fishing isn’t that hard. You just have to throw down a harpoon and that’s it.
“You usually can’t catch them during the day,” Lobster Head said to them, finally managing to tear his eyes away from the roasting pork.
“Them what?” I asked.
“Giant Blue.”
“Why not?”
“They hide during the day. They’re nocturnal, so they only swim at night. It’s better to try and catch them in the evening.”
“Is it easier then?” I asked.
“Not really.”
“Why not?”
“They’re clever animals. They don’t get fooled by bait very easily.”
“Then, how do you catch them?”
“Well.”
I almost tore his mouth off for that pun.
“I guess that makes sense” was all I said.
After that, I turned to Byung-hoon.
“Hey, Byung-hoon.”
“Yes, ma’am?”
What’s with the ‘yes, ma’am?’
“Should we give them some? The warthog…”
“Hmmm…”
Byung-hoon seemed to think about it. He wasn’t feeling particularly generous towards them. After all, he and Areum almost got into a fight earlier. Still, he’s not cruel and I knew he would come through in the end.
“No. Let’s not.”
Okay, never mind.
“But they look so pitiful. Just a little bit?”
“Forget it. They can figure it out themselves. Let’s just enjoy it.”
“Okay.”
Soon, the warthog was finished roasting and we began to feast on the meat. The smell was incredible, even drawing the staff members in. We handed them some bones so they could have a taste. And once we had our fill, we gave what was left to the other team. They seemed very happy about that. Except for Areum, who didn’t touch it at all. Guess his pride couldn’t handle it.
“Are you seriously not going to eat?” I said, holding out some.
“Go away,” Areum snapped.
“Are you sure?” I said, trying to waft the tantalizing smell towards him.
“I said, go away.”
Areum remained sulky, though I caught a glimpse of his face wavering. I also saw him take a huge gulp. This bastard. If he wants to eat it, just eat it. Why let his pride get in the way?
“I’m only going to ask one more time. Come on. Just a bit.”
I held the meat out to his lips and finally, Areum parted them, just a little. I quickly shoved the meat into his mouth.
Chew chew…nom nom…
“Mmmm~”
Then, he went back to his original spot. I could feel him glaring at the back of my head after that, but I paid no attention.
***
After lunch, we had a small break. Even then, the VJ’s wouldn’t leave our side.
“You’re back,” I said, looking at the VJ who had been following me around all day. He kind of looked like a sweet potato, but his face seemed trustworthy enough.
“I was told to film you.”
“By who?”
“By Lob…I mean, Mr. Yoo.”
“Oh, I see.”
I turned back to staring up at the trees. An orangutan sitting on one of the branches and I were currently having a staring contest.
“That bastard.”
“Eeeh! Eeh!” the orangutan cried at me. There was a reason why I was refusing to back down. The orangutan planned on eating an offspring of one that had left its group. It seems like he has already eaten one of its arms. The baby certainly looked like it was about to die.
“Um, Sian…don’t you think this is a little dangerous?” the VJ said, sounding worried.
“That doesn’t matter. Just look at his eyes.”
That was the real problem. Looking at his eyes, I could tell he wanted to eat us as well.
“Hey, come down here you punk.”
I gestured to the orangutan.
“Eeeh! Eeeh!”
The orangutan wanted me to come up. This little…I was ready to jump up there, but then I froze. The VJ was filming me right now. I had to be careful.
“Um, excuse me.”
“Yes?” he said.
“Go back.”
“What?”
“I’m going to kill him. Go back.”
“But something like that should be caught on camera,” the VJ said, looking determined…and perhaps a bit scared.
“Fine, then.”
I started to climb the tree. I could’ve easily jumped onto one of the branches, but I didn’t since I knew I was being filmed.
At the sight of me climbing up the tree, a small look of shock passed through the orangutan’s face. He climbed the tree further, using the bark as I continued to climb after him.
“Sian, it’s dangerous!”
“Be quiet,” I said. The VJ obediently clammed up. As I continued to climb, the orangutan bared its teeth at me.
“Eeeh! Eeh! Eeeeeh!”
He was saying ‘Go ahead and attack me. I’ll make you regret it.’
“Hey, put the baby down,” I said.
“Eeeh!”
That would be a no.
“You’re going to be sorry about this,” I said, rolling out my shoulders. I was ready to kill.
“Hey, you,” I said, calling down to the VJ.
“Yes?” he asked.
“When the baby falls, be sure to catch it, okay?”
“Okay…wait, what?”
“Put the camera down and make sure to catch the baby.”
“Oh, okay!”
The VJ came closer, still holding the camera. He held out his other arm, getting ready to catch the baby.
“I said put the camera down!”
How does he expect to catch anything like that?
“Oh, okay.”
He perched the camera against a tree and returned to his spot to catch the orangutan baby. I resumed back to climbing up the tree towards the evil orangutan. I could see him getting ready to fight me.
“You better watch out, you bastard.”
“Eeek! Eeek! Eeek!”
“Crazy prick.”
I sped up and soon, I was right in front of the orangutan. The orangutan was so shocked that he dropped the baby, which the VJ caught nicely in his hands. And with that, I sent my fist flying.
Pow!
“Eek!”
The orangutan’s head flew back a full 120 degrees. I grabbed it and flung its body towards the tree trunk.
Whoosh!
Crash!
The tree shook with the strength of the impact, but the orangutan was stronger than I thought. He immediately got back up and began to leap up the tree, using its branches. So I began to fly after him.
“Eeek!”
He jumped towards another tree and I jumped after him, landing a dropkick on his back.
Wham!
“Eeeek!”
The orangutan fell in mid-air.
Crash!
And what about me? I landed on top of the orangutan.
Wham!
“Eeeek~!”
“Whew.”
I got up and gave the orangutan a once-over. It was dead. Like good-bye. See you later. Or I guess not, since he’s dead.
“Next time, come back as a piglet.”
I walked back to the VJ.
“How is the baby?”
“Looks bad,” the VJ said, handing me the baby. The VJ had stopped the bleeding, but I could tell that it wasn’t enough.
“There’s a medical team, right? Let’s take it to them.”
“Okay!”
We hurried back to the campsite.
***
Thankfully, the orangutan baby survived, but the most amazing part was that the mommy orangutan came to look for it. After I lectured her, demanding to know what happened and how she could just leave her baby like that, she cried and said it was an accident. She said she only looked away for a second and then, her baby was gone. I demanded to know just what she was doing that kept her distracted, admitting that she saw another handsome orangutan. I scoffed, asking her how she should be so stupid, but she said that she and the handsome orangutan were official now so nothing like that would happen in the future.
“But…you know…” the VJ said after I sent the orangutan off.
“What?” I asked.
“Well…um…sigh…”
“What?”
“I got the footage of you jumping from the tree.”
“What about my kick?”
“Well, the camera didn’t get that. I just got the footage of you leaping off…sniff sniff…”
The VJ was so upset about losing that opportunity that he began to cry.
“Well, it can’t be helped.”
Thank goodness. If there was footage of me kicking an orangutan in mid-air, there would’ve been hell. I’d have to be more careful next time.
“But are you seriously okay? The tree was pretty high up…”
“I’m okay. I fell on top of the orangutan, remember? It was a soft landing.”
“Oh, right…” the VJ said, still looking confused.
***
It was now evening. As mentioned earlier, we now had our third mission, which was to catch a giant blue fish. Though it was nocturnal, it was highly clever and hid well so it was hard for humans to catch. They warned us that it may take a long time before we finally caught one. We were ready to try.
“You guys ready?” the main producer asked.
Everyone nodded. Especially our team who seemed confident and heartened. The other team, on the other hand, looked more doubtful. They tried all afternoon to catch the giant blue and failed. They hadn’t even seen one.
“We just have to catch one, right?” Byung-hoon said, his voice overflowing with confidence. Areum harrumphed.
“You can’t even see one.”
“You mean you didn’t see one.”
“Hmph!”
At Byung-hoon’s words, Areum gave another harrumph. Junho then spoke up.
“I thought you’d learn to shut your mouth by now. You haven’t even won a single mission so far. Who are you to talk when you haven’t even done anything?”
“What did you say?” Areum demanded. The main producer stepped in again.
“Now, now, stop it. The Giant Blue is nocturnal, meaning it’s highly active at nighttime. I’m sure that with your skills, you will all be able to catch one. You have three hours. You can use whatever method you want to catch the fish. The winning team will receive special seasoning and sauces from the staff. As well as ramyun so you can enjoy the fish to the fullest. Oh, and Coke too.”
Everyone’s eyes brightened up at that. Especially at the sound of cold soda.
