I followed the fence.
I could see wild animals beyond it. There was a pack of lions, just lounging on the ground, staring at us like we were prey. I waved at them. The lions all looked away.
“Sian?” Lobster Head said.
“What now?”
“Let’s go back…it’s dangerous here…”
“What? Are you scared?”
“Well…a little bit.”
Lobster Head was also staring at the lions. A hyena also appeared. A lion roared soon after, then the hyena ran away.
“Then go.”
“What?”
“I want to stick around a bit longer. You can go.”
“But…we have to film.”
“Hm.”
That’s true. They have their job to do. Especially so since the more screen time I have, the higher the ratings for the episode. Just stating the facts here. I did really well in the last episode, so no doubt, the public would want to see more of me.
But just then, I saw an animal crying near the fence, wanting to go over.
“Is it a lion?”
It looked like a lion, but I needed a closer look. So, I approached closer to the spot where it was.
Once we got closer, Junho saw the creature and shouted.
“Oh!”
Lobster Head as well.
“Oh my!”
Also the film staff.
“Oh my god.”
The guard lifted their gun.
Click.
“Si….Sian…let’s go…” Lobster Head, taking a few steps back. The film crew too, but not me. I began to walk forward with a big smile on my face. But just then, the guard ran over and blocked my path. He began to say something. I couldn’t understand his words but the meaning was clear, “Too dangerous. Step away.” I slowly shook my head, indicating that it was okay. A lion was nothing to me, but the guard wouldn’t let me go.
“I said it’s fine!”
“Nishyoswawoosiae saiso!”
What the heck is this guy saying? Out of frustration, I reached up and jabbed him in his pressure point.
Jab.
“!..!….!!!…!!!”
The guard’s eyes widened when he realized he couldn’t speak. Just then, the lion saw us and opened his mouth to let out a roar.
“Roar!”
Junho quickly ran to hide behind me while the film crew all began to run away. The guard, on the other hand, began to aim its gun towards the lion. So, I jabbed him in another pressure point. He passed out almost immediately.
Thud.
“Oh, no, the roar must’ve scared him.”
After laying the man down on his back, I began to approach the lion slowly. Junho tried to stop me.
“Sian, it’s dangerous.”
“No, no,” I said. I gestured at Junho for to come closer, but he didn’t move. He just stared at me.
“Come on.”
“W-what?”
“You said you wanted to hunt a lion with me?”
“Well…I…that is…”
“Rooooooar!”
“Ah!”
The lion roared again, then, Junho ran as if his pants were on fire. When he was finally a good distance away, he stopped. From far away, he and Lobster Head stared at me to watch.
“Cowards,” I tsked. What’s so scary about a lion? I began to approach the animal again. The lion stared back at me. Its face was ferocious, clearly viewing me as nothing more than convenient prey. I smirked at it. The lion did not like that.
“Roar!”
“What?”
“Rrrr….”
“What??”
The lion glared at me, then he opened his mouth again. For everyone’s convenience, I’ll just translate everything he says.
“Roar! Roar!” (Who the hell are you, you skinny little brat! Bet you taste awful!)
“Hmph. Well, I think you’ll taste delicious,” I replied, giving the lion a once-over. The fur was dirty, but overall, he looked appetizing.
“Rr! Roar! Rooooaaar!” (Just wait, you wench! The moment you cross this fence, you’re dead meat!)
Well, well, seems like he could tell I’m a girl.
I replied, “Well then, what are you waiting for? Come on, kitty, kitty.”
I gestured at him to jump over. The lion prepared to pounce. Hey, lions are cats too. Some people see them as part of the dog family, but they’re actually related to cats. That’s probably why he didn’t like my little nickname for him.
“Roar! Roar! Roar! Rrr! Rooooar!!” (What did you call me? Kitty? Those little things are nothing compared to me!)
“Come on. I’m waiting, kitty. Or should I go over? Kitty?” I challenged.
The lion pounced with all its might and made it through the fence. I could hear the staff screaming behind me.
“Oh my god!”
“It’s a lion!”
“It jumped over the fence!”
“Call the police!”
“Run! Run!”
“Sian! Run!”
Everyone began to scream, but I wasn’t going anywhere. Besides, you’re not supposed to show your back to a predator. The moment you do, you’re just asking for the animal to come running after you.
“Roar!” (I’m here, you bitch!)
“Good for you, Kitty.”
“Roar!” (You bitch! You’re not scared of me?)
“Don’t make me laugh.”
“Roar! Roooar!” (That’s all you can do because I see you have nothing else to offer!)
“Pervert.”
The lion and I approached each other, eying each other. Who would be the first to move?
“Roar! Roar?” (But, wait! How do you understand what I’m saying?)
“I learned from the Grandmaster of Gaebang.”
“Roar?!” (The Grandmaster of Gaebang?!)
Did he know who that was? Then again, the Grandmaster of Gaebang was famous amongst animals. He’s the friend who taught me how to speak to dogs, and that dog went around telling all the other animals. But to think that made it all the way here to Africa. It was rather surprising.
“Roar! Roar! Roar!” (If you’re his friend, then all the more reason to kill you!)
With that, the lion ran and leaped. I jumped back to dodge him. The lion immediately ran for me again and this time, I jumped to the side. Grabbing him by his tail, I lifted him up and spun him around in a circle.
Whoosh~ Whoosh~ Whoosh~ Whoosh!
With a final swing, I threw the lion into the air. It began to flail as it flew up, and then started to fall back down. I leaped up high into the air, sending up a force of energy towards it.
“Hyaaah!”
Pow!
Snap.
The force hit the lion dead on, snapping his head backwards. And with that, the lion was dead.
Thud.
The lion was splayed across the ground. Poor thing. His fault for jumping over the fence. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have died…or maybe he would’ve either wya. Well, still, it’s his fault.
“Let’s see…”
I lifted the lion onto my shoulders and began to carry it back. But wait…
“If I carry it like this, people will call me an alien again. Hmmm.”
I walked over to the guard to wake him up.
“Hey. Hey. Yoohoo. Hey!”
The safety guard finally woke up. He immediately grabbed his gun and aimed it at the dead lion. He had good reflexes.
“Oh, he’s dead. Die.”
I made the chopping motion to gesture that the lion was dead, and the guard gave the lion a good once-over. His eyes widened when he realized the lion was indeed dead.
“How?”
I think he wanted to know how the lion died.
“Don’t know. Don’t know,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. The guard looked confused, but in the end, he also shrugged his shoulders. I gestured for him to put the lion on his shoulders, and he did. We both made our way back to the campsite. After a while, I could see Junho and Lobster Head hiding behind some trees. They were staring at me with jaws open.
“Careful, guys. The flies will get in,” I said.
At that, the two men closed their mouths, but the shocked expression still remained on their faces.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I…I saw everything…” Junho said.
“Me…Me, too…” Lobster Head said. Too bad there were no cameras. The film crew had run away a long time ago.
“Well, if you know what’s good for you, then keep your mouth shut,” I said, gesturing to the lion.
“O-okay…” the two answered together. It’s fine. These two already had their suspicions about me anyway. It’s not like their minds will change or anything after this.
“Let’s go.”
“Okay…”
We all headed back to the campsite together. As we did, the producer that was with the other team called. He began to tease Lobster Head, asking him if we were still alive. He said we were fine. Then, the other producer asked where we were and Lobster Head answered that we were close to the campsite. After that, the other producer began to brag, saying that the other team had caught something incredible. Lobster Head smirked at that.
“What did they catch?” I asked.
“A huge warthog,” Lobster Head laughed. “They’re so sure they have this one in the bag.”
“Pfft.” I snorted, staring at the lion on the guard’s back. It was very dead, but can we really eat it?
“Can we eat this?” I asked.
“I’m not sure,” Lobster Head answered. “The animal rights groups may ask why we killed it, vut we didn’t do anything wrong. The lion jumped over the fence.”
Everyone nodded at that. It’s true. The fence is high. It’s not like someone could’ve carried the lion over it. Of course, it’s not a height a typical lion can jump over either, but this one did. The locals in this area could hardly blame us. Besides, the only people who were actually on site were me, Junho, Lobster Head, and the safety personnel. At least, the guard was holding his gun. Junho and I only had our knives. If we were to tell anyone that we killed it, no one would believe us. Therefore, no one could say we actually did it. We can just say the lion leaped over and broke his neck in the process.
“Let’s just give the lion to the locals here,” Lobster Head suggested.
“Alright then,” I said.
“So,” I added, “Who won?”
Considering that I won’t even get to try the lion meat, it’s only fair that I know.
“Let’s just say it’s a tie. Even just catching a lion is a feat in itself.”
“Fine.”
We continued our way to the campsite.
When we arrived, there was already some sort of party going on. The guests of honor were Areum and his teammates. They were showing off their warthog to Byung-hoon, who surprisingly had not been able to catch anything. Well, we soon arrived with the lion, which immediately caught everyone’s attention. And they all fell silent soon after. Areum’s jaw dropped all the way to the floor. It was as if he had forgotten how to close it.
