Seeing the change in her expression, a wave of anxiety struck Xi Lin. Patting Xiao Wang, who had just woken up, she asked Feng Tianlan, “What’s wrong? What has Chen Xinyi done?”
Feng Tianlan read the delicate words penned down. Biting her lower lip, she answered in a trembling voice, “I’m sorry.”
Xi Lin peeked over Feng Tianlan’s shoulder to read the letter’s contents. The expression of worry on her face transformed into one of shock. No words escaped her speechless lips. In the end, she sighed.
The letter was addressed to Master Shen and written in Chen Xinyi’s flowery hand:
“Master Shen, by the time you read this letter, I would have since departed this world. Forgive me for my selfishness. It would help if you didn’t hate me, but I would not blame you if you did. This is the method I have chosen to etch the memory of myself into your heart. I hope you will always remember me…
The Peony Gate Sect was a subordinate organization under Feng Yunsheng’s control. It has always acted from the shadows, orchestrating and shaping important events in the Xuantian Continent. As far as my sources indicate, the destruction of the Shen family was caused by the Peony Gate Sect. Therefore, allow me to present you with the heads of the Peony Gate Sect. This is my wedding gift to you. This is but a small token of my appreciation. Please accept it.
I’m sorry that my love has caused you trouble. Perhaps I can do something for you. My love is not so shallow and useless.
In fact, I hated you. I hated you so much that I thought of snatching the Demon King from under your nose time and time again. That hate slowly turned into love, and from then on, all I could ever think about was making you happy. In hindsight, thinking of snatching someone as powerful as the Demon King from you was beyond foolish. His Eminence is not someone a small character like me can hope to spirit away.
I was a complete mess. I’m not sure if you’d understand that feeling. I wanted to speak my mind, but I did not know where to start. I merely said whatever came to my mind.
It is the 18th of December – the day you were supposed to wed the Demon King. If he were here, I wonder what sort of expression he would have had seeing your wedding. I think his reaction would have been a feast for the eyes.
Unfortunately, I won’t ever get the chance to. I won’t receive the pleasure of witnessing such a scene.
All I ask is to spend a day with you, uninterrupted. I don’t know if you will agree, but I don’t think so the more I think about it. My love for you is not natural. It is a twisted sort of love that only brings you trouble… I’m sure you must hate me.
Now that I have gone – to lands further than you’ll ever reach – I doubt we’d see each other again. Do you regret your actions? Do you feel guilty for being so cold to me?
I feel conflicted. I wanted you to feel guilt and regret, but I was afraid of making you unhappy. My greatest wish remains unchanged. I hope that I’ll always occupy a small space in your heart. When you read this letter, I ask that you burn it as soon as you are done and perhaps, toast a glass of wine in memory of me.
I was afraid that you would forget the day of my death, so I deliberately chose the 18th of December. It was such an auspicious day – the day chosen by you and the Demon King. On such a wonderful day, I’m sure you would remember the girl who died giving you your wedding gift.
I neither wish for your guilt nor regret because I have never regretted meeting and falling in love with you. I ask that you grant me this one selfish memory to take with me to my grave.
… I’ve written so much. My thoughts seem to be all over the place. I wrote whatever came to mind since I did not know if you would read this letter of mine. Perhaps you’ve already thrown this letter away, reading this long-winded spiel that makes so little sense, even to me. I’m sorry. I couldn’t focus. The thought of never seeing you, Master Shen, ever again was too much to bear. I am… reluctant to part…
But… It is for the best. With me gone, you won’t have to burden yourself with worries for me. It would help if you didn’t remember me in that way. I don’t want to sully my love for you. Wouldn’t that be the best of both worlds?
There are still so many things I want to tell you, but I’m sure you’ve grown tired of what I have to say, so I shan’t say more.
Meeting you has been the greatest fortune in this life of mine, Master Shen. My life has not been in vain. I hope we do not meet again in the next life. The Demon King wouldn’t be pleased otherwise. Me liking you then would only become a problem again.
I hope you recognize my writing. I hope that my liking will make you feel that you’re lucky.
… Do you like the wedding gift I gave you?”
“Xinyi wrote it herself.”
