Chapter 527: You Effing Fed That to a Cat?
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
The first thing Raven 12345 said revealed her true nature. Hao Ren realized he could never hope for this lunatic of a goddess to play the role of a proper goddess, so he just dropped the formalities. He went forward to greet her with his usual casualness. “Boss, I’ve come back from the Plane of Dreams.”
“I know. You’ve found a stable pathway into the Plane of Dreams? I detected a world crossing distortion, but there were no upheavels in the Plane of Dreams so I figured that you had found the gateway.” Raven 12345 turned back. “We don’t know how many leaks like that there are. This is a real hea…. Oh, emperor on a pogo stick! What is that?!”
The first thing Raven 12345 saw was Rollie, who was squatting down and pawing her face. Her enchanted eyes immediately told her that this was an unusual creature and it surprised her. Nangong Sanba was rather conflicted when he heard the lady’s reaction. He slowly nudged Hao Ren by the arm. “This is…”
“This is the goddess.” Hao Ren gritted his teeth as he tried his level best to keep calm while introducing his superior to the two guests. “The gentleman here is Nangong Sanba, Wuyue’s brother. I think you already know his situation. He’ll be joining the crew, so I brought him for introductions. That furry creature squatting on the floor… is Rollie.”
Hao Ren was worried that Raven 12345 may not have understood him, so he added, “This was the cat I had at home…”
Raven 12345 looked at Hao Ren as if she was looking at an idiot. “How did your cat turn into that?”
“Beats me. I was just about to ask you that.” Hao Ren shrugged. “She turned into human out of the blue this morning. She can even speak the human language, but she’s not sure how it all happened. It seems like her mental capacity only grew recently. I was wondering if she gained sapience by some sort of transcendence… Say… surely you can tell, right?”
“Of course. Nothing escapes my certified goddess eyesight.” Raven 12345 placed her hands on her waist. “And to think that you’d assume it was about transcendence. You know how long humans needed to evolve into upright walking creatures? What, you think some wild animal howling at the moon would suddenly mutate into a human? Silly cat, look over here. Look into my eyes.”
Raven 12345’s voice seemed to carry some sort of compelling force as Rollie, who usually could not be arsed to even look at an outsider obediently ran over to the goddess, and stared blankly into her eyes.
Raven 12345 grabbed Rollie’s dumb face as she inspected the latter. An azure glow flashed across her iris. A moment later, she let out a sigh and turned to Hao Ren. “Seems like something changed after the New Year. Did you feed her anything weird during that time?”
“Anything weird?” Hao Ren rubbed his chin. “I don’t remember… F*ck… Was this caused by the apple?”
Only now did Hao Ren remember the “weird” thing that he fed Rollie during the New Year, and cold sweat streamed from his forehead. “The Golden Apple! I fed her that. Don’t tell me that apple actually did this?!”
Even Raven 12345 panicked when she heard that and she glared at Hao Ren. “You f*cking did what? You fed the Golden Apple to a cat? The Golden Apple that people killed and died for, the apple that would have caused a thousand-year war if thrown into the mortal world? You f*cking fed it to a cat?!”
Hao Ren’s stream of cold sweat had turned into a waterfall at this point. “I never thought it would have such an effect… Didn’t you tell me to just give it to anyone at home?”
“I meant those otherworldlings bunking at your place, not your bloody cat!” Raven12345 glared at Hao Ren again. “Just because it’s something given during Chinese New Year you take it for something cheap? Those Golden Apples were the fourth batch, hand raised by the goddess of life herself!”
Hao Ren felt like the Golden Apples really sounded cheap when he heard that last line…
“So, what now?” Hao Ren gave Rollie a defeated look. The cat girl was about to doze off now. After rolling on the floor twice, she came close to Hao Ren by habit. She wanted to lay down on the latter’s shoe to nap, but now she was much, much bigger than the last time. She just could not find that sweet spot of yore and in a rage, she started to bite Hao Ren’s pants.
“I’ll figure something out. She’ll be under your care from now on.” Raven 12345 shrugged. “The Golden Apple has fully taken effect and she’s now a totally new life form… almost like the otherwordlings you have back home.
Hao Ren then pulled Rollie’s collar to stop her from biting his pants as he shook his head. “At the very least, no one at home, Lily included would bite my pants or roll on the floor for days on end…”
“Poop Scooper! Put meow down! Put meow down!”
“And none of them would call me Poop Scooper.”
“Just slowly educate her.” Raven 12345 shot out a small spark at the cat girl and shocked the latter. “Her intelligence has been fully unlocked. It’s just that she has yet to learn how to get rid of her old habits. She’ll understand anything that you tell her. Just educate her, step by step, and she’ll be used to the human way of life soon enough.”
Hao Ren could only say an emphatic “Oh, alright.” Nonetheless, he was still curious. “I can understand if she were to transcend into a human, but how did she learn to speak from day one? This would require some time no? Don’t tell me that the Golden Apple had something in it that gave her maximum intelligence?”
“Actually you hit the jackpot. The real effect of the Golden Apple is to ‘lifeform template enhancement’. It allows any lifeform to obtain enhancement in every aspect similar to the best lifeform template when gods created mortals. While it does not work as well as direct bioenhancement, its effects is still remarkable given time. Your cat’s intelligence was of course on the low side, but the apple gave it maximum points in intelligence, and it took the chance to learn human language while still a cat. Thus when she became human she only needed some adjustments to speak. Of course, this effect will slowly decrease to the point of a standard normalcy, something like how your medication loses effect with time.
Hao Ren never thought the Golden Apple had such an effect and simply just nodded as he listened. Something suddenly popped up in his mind. “I understand what you’re saying… but can this actually cure stupidity?”
Raven 12345’s eyebrows twitched. “What do you mean?”
“Lily already had two of the apples but she will still gnaw on her tail every morning. Even now and then she’ll drag me out to bring her for a stroll.” Hao Ren rubbed his chin. “Not sure if that’s me seeing things… but I think her condition is getting worse.”
Raven 12345 rolled her eyes. “That’s not being stupid. That’s just her normal daily life. Every race have different habits. The Hazzk Swarmkins would see human’s need for cutleries to eat their food as foolishness. For such cultural differences, who is to say who is right?”
Hao Ren had nothing to retort as he suddenly recalled something Lily said sometime back.
“If a tail is not for gnawing, what use does it has?”
It is true that there is no solution to the question of cultural differences.
After that, Hao Ren discussed with Raven 12345 on the topic of rearing cats and dogs (no mistake there) at home before bringing up the topic of Nangong Sanba joining the crew.
“I’ve read the job manual and Inspectors are empowered to, as required after preliminary review could expand his force on the world, and take in new subordinates.” Hao Ren patted Nangong Sanba’s shoulder. “His sister is already part of the crew, so I think it is best to just bring her brother along.”
Nangong Sanba was busy staring the stars on the planetary display. And truthly speaking, aside from the lunatic Goddess, the place was surely majestic and divine. He quickly refocused as he heard Hao Ren mentioning his name. “Ah yes, I’d like to join in…”
“Hmm… an outsider who has information about the job. Well, most review requirements have been relaxed and you indeed could gather a few more subordinates like him.” Raven 12345 looked at Nangong Sanba and nodded at Hao Ren. “Have you ascertain his capabilities?”
Hao Ren gritted his teeth as the words came stiffly from his mouth. “A reliable demon hunter…”
Nangong Sanba sighed. “Even I feel sorry for you.”
“Well, if you say he’s reliable so be it.” Raven 12345 could tell what Nangong Sanba was by just a glance. But she just turned a blind eye. “A mixed blood… Interesting, perhaps he is even rarer than a true blue demon hunter.”
After that, Hao Ren something out from his Dimensional Pocket for Raven12345 to see. Something of utmost importance.
“This is the primal blood.” Hao Ren passed a small phial to Raven12345. “The living sample of the Seed of Origin.”
