.
As I looked around, a stone bench came into my view. I roughly dusted off the surface and perched on it, then fell back into thought.
My parents…
In my memories, my mother in this world extremely shocked me. She had never tried to understand me ever. Instead of figuring out the reason behind my weird behaviors or sharing a true conversation as a support, she always regarded my actions as myself being consumed with jealousy towards Ban Yeo Ryung and just failed to notice them. How convenient and unreasonable was her way of thinking?
And from that situation, I got a clue.
Sinking my head onto my chest, I kept thinking, ‘What if the Ham Donnie in this world, who went through all these, wished that she didn’t want to experience these anymore?’
It was simple to prevent herself from undergoing these frustrating situations––Ban Yeo Ryung not living next door to me.
But how on earth could I get rid of Ban Yeo Ryung being our neighbor? Should I force her family to move out? Or mine? Since both of us were just turning into middle school students, that was impossible.
Besides, my mother around that time considered my desperate request––going to a different school than Ban Yeo Ryung––as a demand driven by jealousy. Thus, she wouldn’t simply reply, ‘Yes,’ to our family moving to somewhere else. Instead, she would just ask me to go make up with her.
According to the circumstances, what if I, the original Ham Donnie in this world, lost all hopes and, therefore, prayed from the bottom of my heart? Since I addressed my solemn request of Ban Yeo Ryung not living next door to me anymore, God could have answered that absurd prayer. What if it really came true?
I once read about the parallel universe theory in a book. According to that source, our choice of something divides the world into two or more parallel universes. And each of those divided worlds also gets split into different universes once we make another choice. As the process continues endlessly, the world shapes itself into a tree spreading numerous branches.
Lets’ say, what if there’s a world where my parents weren’t married yet? In that universe, I wouldn’t exist. Likewise, at least, one universe among the countless, alternate realities would not have Ban Yeo Ryung around me. Just like the world where I had been living before.
So, the next day, when I bumped into Ban Yeo Ryung in my apartment hallway, the original Donnie of this world would have not met anyone in the same place. The day when Ban Yeo Ryung’s parents gave birth to their daughter, Ban Yeo Ryung would have disappeared from the house next door to Donnie in the other world.
The parallel universe wasn’t easily relatable, but it was the only theory that could explain these circumstances no matter how hard I tried to think.
I shook my head again. There still existed a mystery––then how should I accept the happening of myself shifting to the other universe sometimes? Even if the occasional multiverse traveling occurred from this world’s Donnie missing Ban Yeo Ryung from time to time, it still didn’t make sense.
That’s because when I moved to the other universe, the kids in this reality told me they had FORGOTTEN my existence. In other words, I, in the other world, wasn’t returning to this place even if I went back to that universe. Thus, the two Ham Donnies weren’t, in fact, switching their worlds.
Then what was going on?
I still lacked so much information to thoroughly grasp the truth. Even the fight between us that took place four years ago was now transferred to my memories. Well, but that’s inevitable since I wasn’t able to talk to Ban Yeo Ryung like, ‘Actually, myself in the other world is…’
All of a sudden, I tightly clenched my fist with some lingering feelings. My fingers dug into my palm.
I murmured, “Indeed, I should have caught that kid last week…”
The girl seemed to have more information about the things that I didn’t know, or else, she would have not run away as soon as I came into her sight.
Above all, the look in her eyes was different when she saw the Four Heavenly Kings and Ban Yeo Ryung. At that time, I wasn’t able to notice it well, but only the girl was looking at them as some objects to stay away from.
She verbally showed respect, asking them for a handshake, but in her eyes, no signs of admiration were found. Instead, her face was slightly covered with a veil of urge that she wanted to kick open the door and leave the spot ASAP.
And that look she revealed was the most familiar emotion I also found back then in my eyes in the mirror. That’s why I could be more aware of it that the girl would indeed know something critical.
“But what can I do when I already missed the opportunity to catch her?” I sighed.
Then I changed my mind. Instead of those I couldn’t control, now was the time to focus on things I could control.
Should I tell my parents about the frustrating moments of the past? Or should I put my effort into straightening things out from now on?
In fact, I could just keep calm and carry on since those moments weren’t my true experience. Besides, before arguing the situation in the past, I needed to clarify whether I should see my parents’ characters as a necessary setting for the plot or just their pure intentions.
Well, my parents often compared me to other well-behaved and academically successful kids even when Ban Yeo Ryung didn’t exist. Sometimes they teased me, and if I became annoyed they lost their tempers as well, saying, they weren’t scolding me for fun.
Pressing my forehead with my fist, I heaved another deep sigh. Then should I just return home and have some conversations anyway? But what should I say to them?
‘Mom, you know the thing that happened to me three years ago, stop comparing me to Yeo Ryung.’ If I talk to my mom that way, she would be like, ‘Don’t get jealous of her.’ What if she really responds to me like that? It would be sincerely intolerable.
Shaking my head fiercely from side to side, I suddenly stood up from the bench. A few people, who just walked past me, were glancing at me doubtfully or worriedly.
I should first leave this place. With that thought in my mind, I tried to bend my steps. That was when my phone began to vibrate. I took it out of my pocket.
“Eh?”
Ouch! That moment, my phone slipped from my hand and dropped to the ground. It rolled around a couple of times then stopped with a bizarre position. Standing frozen for a moment, I soon walked toward it hesitantly and picked up the phone.
“Gosh…”
It was repaired last time, but the previously broken part might have become fragile. My phone was now broken into pieces like the time I had bumped into Ban Hwee Hyul in the alley last time.
‘I must complain to the customer service, no?!’ I grumbled, touching the dead device for a while. Needless to say, the screen didn’t turn on.
“Someone seemed to have called me though…”
That was when I realized that I asked Ban Yeo Ryung to bring the yearbook messages. If she came back to my house immediately, she would have found me not at home, and since I was obviously looking confused, she would have, of course, called my phone to search for me.
Disheveling my hair, I sighed and turned my steps.
“Time to go home,” I said to myself, but my footsteps felt heavy like that of the dark sky.
On every step I make, a voice was howling in my head. ‘Are you sure to return home like this? Can you face your parents but not fight with them?’
Whenever those questions echoed around me, all I could do was just shake my head. There was no place to go except home. My phone was dead; I didn’t even bring my wallet, being in a fluster on my way out. Thus, I couldn’t kill time chilling in a cafe unless I was sitting on a playground or something.
Why was I being so stirred up when the moments weren’t actually my experience in the first place? Thinking to that extent, I soon noticed my sight brightening. I quickly raised my head.
My apartment was on the hill, so just by looking up in the air from a place with low buildings was enough to detect the direction.
In that way, I stepped into the alley extended to the hill. And this was the place that came out after walking for quite a while. Glancing around, I heaved a sigh.
Of all places, it’s here.
