.
While there was a prolonged silence, Ruda, who was standing beside Lucas, uttered, “So, we’ll be going now.”
That was when I turned back and replied hurriedly, “Ah, yeah, thanks for the ride. I keep owing you…”
“No, not at all. We had a great holiday too, and…” Switching his gaze to Eun Hyung, Ruda added with his face remarkably stiffened, “I hope he recovers soon.”
“Thanks,” replied Eun Hyung. His voice sounded so nonchalant that it seemed like they were sharing some normal words of blessings.
Yeo Dan oppa, who was standing behind the two, said, “If you need anything, let me know. I’ll pick it up at home and take a cab.”
“Yeah, let’s wait and see until tomorrow morning.”
“I wish his quick recovery.”
This time, Eun Hyung nodded politely and said, ‘Thank you.’ Throwing a glance at me in the last place, Yeo Dan oppa got in the car. Once the vehicle with Lucas, Ruda, and Yeo Dan oppa left the parking lot, Eun Hyung diverted his gaze back onto us.
“Let’s go upstairs. Chun Young is in front of the operating room. So are Jiho and Jooin. They are also there.”
I just nodded while being lost track of things. Yeo Ryung, whose face blanched with fear, was also just grabbing Eun Hyung’s sleeve more tightly while biting her lips.
The three of us took the elevator that directly connected from the parking lot. Even looking at the floor numbers going up in order, I still had no sense of reality.
I couldn’t help since I had been managing to spend a peaceful New Year’s holiday just until now. The breaking news on the TV, however, disturbed everything. This situation didn’t seem real to me, who wasn’t even the person directly involved; thus, how would the parties to the accident be doing right now? What about Yoo Chun Young?
The elevator door opened, at last; the bright hallway appeared. Bending my steps to turn around the corner, I found the familiar faces at the end of it.
Yoo Chun Young and Woo Jooin were sitting on the blue bench in front of the operating room. Above the door, there was a red ‘SURGERY’ sign on.
Both my parents were very healthy, so I had never waited for someone to get surgery in the operation room. The sight in front of me was, therefore, only seen in TV dramas.
Eun Jiho was the first one to discover us being here. Standing against the wall, he was looking at the floor nervously. Once we came into his view, Eun Jiho opened his mouth.
“Hey.”
He sounded as subsided as Eun Hyung’s voice. As if he just got out of bed and dashed into this place, Eun Jiho, who was sensitive to cold, was only wearing a black cardigan over his short-sleeved t-shirt.
While I just nodded my head, Jooin, who soon turned his head to look in our direction, showed a faint smile. He looked toned down than usual but spoke with a yet warm voice.
“Yeo Ryung, mama, you’ve come a long way. I heard you guys were in the country house.”
“We would have come here even if we were abroad,” replied Yeo Ryung with a tearful voice.
Standing beside her, I added in a low voice, “… Thank goodness we didn’t go to Taiwan.”
At that moment, Yoo Chun Young, whose figure had been stiffened like a statue, finally moved. Wrapping his forehead with both hands and leaning forward, he was sitting still on the bench just until now as if he could neither see nor hear. However, he was now putting his hands down and turning his head to look at us.
His pale face was as white as a sheet of paper now. Even if it got cut by a sharp blade, only a white surface seemed to be visible.
Only a heavy silence prevailed around the hallway until he detached his lips and called my name.
“Ham Donnie.”
I recalled that almost two months had passed since we didn’t talk to each other. Was it this much strange and unfamiliar thing for my name to be called in his voice? Dwelling vacantly on the sound that he made, I got to come up with another possibility.
For some reason, Yoo Chun Young looked so anxious and uncomfortable even just seeing my face. Now that his behavior suddenly changed, I thought that he would definitely need me just like I also did when I struggled before.
However, what if he wasn’t? What if he felt more burdened from recovering our relationship at this very challenging time?
The new possibility that entered my head made my whole body stiffen. Even my tongue wasn’t moving at all. That was when I just cast my eyes on the linoleum floor while being as stiff as a post.
“I didn’t know you would come.”
What he returned in a low and calm voice was unable to interpret. Did he mean that my visit was unexpected or undesirable?
The needle in my head went back and forth between positive and negative signs. After quite a while, I barely opened my mouth to respond.
“I would have come whenever you call me.”
I decided to speak and behave honestly since I no longer wanted to become too worried to say anything. Yoo Chun Young seemed to look at me; however, I was too scared to confront his face, so I just added while clenching my fist with downcast eyes.
“Even if it wasn’t this situation… I would have come if you needed me.”
“…”
The silence between us continued. Slightly plucking up my courage, I raised my head. Yoo Chun Young, who was still sitting on the bench, was looking up at me rigidly just like before.
His eyes, which looked blurry like having layers of fogs inside, now turned a little clear. When he detached his lips, at last, I touched my hands in bewilderment.
“Why are you so trembling?”
Did I? When I looked down at my hands, I found them really trembling. Eun Jiho, who was leaning against the wall until then, frowned and took off his cardigan to hand it out to me.
“Have this on you.”
“Huh? Uh… okay.”
I took his cardigan in an unguarded moment and put it around my shoulders. Even though I shoved myself into his clothes that still had his body heat around, the tremor of my hands wouldn’t go away. I was also aware that it was due to myself being strained to the limit.
The moment I adjusted his cardigan over me wordlessly, Yoo Chun Young spoke again. I lifted my head.
“And you’re about to cry.”
“No, I’m not.”
I shook my head again this time but actually had no confidence to not break into tears. Having no close relatives living in the suburbs of Seoul, I was very anxious and afraid of this unanticipated situation––waiting in front of the operation room–– which I never went through before.
However, what would happen if I began to wail at this moment? If I burst into tears as if I had expected some sorrowful future, that would overstrain people. In the end, Yoo Chun Young would also lose his composure which he was striving to maintain right now.
As if he read my thoughts, Yoo Chun Young, who stared fixedly at me, continued to speak in a low voice.
“If you tremble more than me, I’d feel sorry to call you.”
No, it was just that this was my first time to be in front of the operation room. The moment I tried to speak out that way, Yoo Chun Young added while fastening his eyes on me, “But you know…”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m so glad to see you again.”
“…”
He kept on speaking nonchalantly with downcast eyes in front of me, who was at a loss of words. His voice sank down heavily to the floor.
“I’m sorry to scare you, but… please stay here a little longer…”
That was when my hands stopped trembling. Clenching my fist, I replied, “A little longer? Hey, where would I go leaving you here?”
Yoo Chun Young raised his head and grinned faintly with his yet pale face.
Looking at his smile, I thought how thankful it was that I wasn’t traveling abroad.
* * *
Instead of Yoo Chun Young, who would be so painful to go over the situation, Eun Jiho told us what happened.
Now I had come to think of it, it had been almost two months since I didn’t speak with him, but we were fine as if we had talked to each other yesterday. The long history of our friendship seemed to work. However, even this silly thought disappeared as soon as I heard Eun Jiho’s explanation.
“It’s been six hours since he went inside, but there’s no sign of ending… It can take longer than ten hours.”
“Ten hours…”
I repeated the time unit inside my head absentmindedly. Having no experience of myself or other people around me getting surgery, I had no idea whether this was a major operation or not. However, according to the look on Eun Jiho’s face, I could estimate that it was very serious.
