.
While I had those thoughts in my mind, Yeo Dan oppa switched his gaze to me and asked, “Did something happen in school?”
“Huh?”
“You look pale.”
“Oh, maybe because of the umbrella?” I replied while feeling a little surprised that we were on the same page. Before I tried to add those words, he continued to speak, “I’ve been thinking about that since I saw you at school.”
“Oh…”
Keeping the smile on my face, I dropped my gaze to the ground. Looking at the wet sidewalk, I murmured to myself, ‘So that’s why he looked a little strange since then and didn’t ask me any different questions.’ Then I slowly detached my lips.
“Um… just had some things with my friends…”
The look on his face marginally changed at my remark. It was like a mischievous whining, but he might have come up with the memory of myself saying to him, ‘I don’t have any friends,’ or something like that in the café last time.
Slightly darkening his face, he uttered, “So that isn’t resolved yet.”
I nodded. Now I had come to think of it, in his perspective, he could have thought that things had been indeed sorted out since I didn’t mention about it afterward. Yeo Dan oppa didn’t just see me and Ban Yeo Ryung hanging out together with the Four Heavenly Kings a few times.
I mean, he only saw us being all together just once in person; however, he knew about them since a long time ago. Yeo Ryung and I had been talking about those boys to him quite often. Thus, he wouldn’t have considered that the conflict among us, which suddenly started without a reason, would last this much longer.
Thinking to that extent, a part of me felt empty. I released my lips from biting them firmly and blurted out, “You never know that things can happen this way.”
Yeo Dan oppa’s gaze reached me. The calm look in his eyes seemed to tell, ‘Let me know about everything.’ Swallowing my breath, I continued to speak.
“We were so close, but it only took a moment to grow apart this much even from a reason that I don’t even know.”
“…”
“Could this really happen…?”
A burst of laughter came out again all of a sudden. Ha, haha… Pressing my crease firmly with my palms, I murmured in my thoughts, ‘Well, come to think of it, there wasn’t any special reason that we became close.’
I turned my head to look at Yeo Dan oppa. He was staring at me with an unusual expression. Maybe I should say something. With that thought in my head, I opened my mouth.
“I saw something on the news recently…”
Fixing his gaze at me, Yeo Dan oppa remained silent.
“It’s been scientifically proved that people get closer just by taking seats closer to each other. That’s why there’s a high possibility to become friends with someone who sits close to you at the beginning of the new semester.”
“…”
“So, I guess it’s nothing that strange about suddenly growing farther and farther apart. When I first became the same class with those kids in middle school freshmen year, they all took seats around me of all occasions while Yeo Ryung was beside me.”
I nodded my head alone, thinking, ‘Right, that was why we became close. When we all first met, our seats were physically nearby each other, and Yeo Ryung and I were already friends. There was, of course, a little trouble at first, but in the end, that was why we became friends; those reasons never change.’
However, I kept murmuring, ‘But… still…’
“… We’ve been doing fine so far…” Barely dropping those words, I choked up.
Yeo Dan oppa was bending his steps ploddingly beside me. The sound of footsteps on the muddy ground also came from under my feet. Listening to the crunching noise, I detached my lips again.
“For real, we’ve been okay. I was never apart from them even during the summer break, and it wasn’t that long ago…” Talking to that point, I closed my mouth to catch my breath.
‘I’m too sorry to even look at your face.’
Eun Jiho’s voice speaking that way…
‘You can do that to me. I mean, we can do that to each other.’
And Yoo Chun Young’s voice, uttering those words, was still clear as if he had spoken to me just now.
‘But why did it turn this way?’ I asked myself. Eun Jiho’s umbrella was in my hand; Yoo Chun Young told me to speak further after the rain. However, why was I feeling that we would never get close anymore?
The time we spent together, the conversations we had, and our futures that we repeatedly talked about during those years of friendship… Where did they all go? We dreamt about keeping up with each other closely even when we all grew up and became older. It was a premise in our relationship now and forever. However, where did all those promises go? Why was I left this way here alone? Was that future never returning to us?
‘What do they think of me now? And me… what do I think of them?’ Rambling those thoughts in my head, I felt an unpleasant pain arising from the middle of my forehead and beginning to spread out all over.
After quite a while, I opened my mouth again.
“Relationship… trust…”
“…”
“Those could change so easily this way.”
As if the four years we had spent were all a lie, I could only come up with just one thing in my head when thinking about them.
What if they didn’t want to see me anymore all of a sudden?
What if they told me they couldn’t find any reason to stay together?
What if they said they had no reason left to hold my hand, listen to my story, share my agony, and take me out from my sorrow or pain? What if they didn’t even want to think about it anymore?
What should I do then?
Suddenly, I lifted my head upon the thought that Yeo Dan oppa was still beside me. I tried to smile but didn’t even feel like doing it. Showing a forced grin was enough in school. Thus, I just confessed everything I had in mind in the end.
“I’m sorry to rattle on all kinds of things out of the blue, oppa.”
“No,” he shook his head. I spoke to him again, “You might have felt awkward, right? … Didn’t even know what to respond… Sorry.”
The look on his face turned enigmatic. It seemed like I hit the nail on the head, so I felt a little sorrier to him. Being aware that he was quite clumsy at comforting others, I really didn’t want to reveal such things to him.
Raising my head, I estimated the distance to our house.
‘Ah, it was worth walking steadily while talking continuously.’
We were now at the entrance of the parking lot. He would no longer have to feel difficult to answer or react to my concerns.
I uttered with a smile, “Let’s go. You should wash your hair and take some rest. You were caught in the rain, weren’t you?”
“Uh-huh…” he replied while nodding blankly. I gently lifted my leg and smiled, “Look. My legs are also messy.”
The muddy water splashed on my legs were now dried up and left some messy stains all over. Watching the sight, Yeo Dan oppa remained wordless when he could just say to me anything like, ‘Go take a bath,’ or ‘See you later.’
Perhaps he was feeling more complicated at my story than I thought. ‘Should I say something?’ Wondering what to do, I soon concluded that it would be better to let him go as soon as possible. Thus, I just bent my steps.
Then I suddenly stopped walking and flung a question that I had in mind for the whole time.
“Oh, now I come to think of it…”
He raised his head again.
“You made a type on your text. What happened?”
“Ah, that one.”
He then returned an unexpected response which made me slightly gape.
“My teacher snatched it when I was sending a text. It’s confiscated until the next exam.”
What? Did he really send a text during class time? Although he felt bored or didn’t feel like taking the class, I could hardly imagine Yeo Dan oppa slacking off with a phone.
‘Well, but…’ Pulling myself together, I shook my head. Yeo Dan oppa could get distracted and play with his phone during class time. Why not? However, another thing flashed through my head. My eyes widened.
‘Eh? Hold on,’ I murmured in my thoughts. His teacher took his phone when Yeo Dan oppa was sending me a text. His incomplete message was only delivered to my phone. Yeo Ryung didn’t receive his text… in other words…!
