.
Wondering about those questions hysterically in my mind, I flinched and lifted my head at the voice coming from beside me.
“I’m sorry… about that…”
I was surprised when I looked aside. Yoo Chun Young’s blue eyes were slightly trembling on me. I never saw him revealing his bewildered feelings so clearly on his face until now. However, that was all. I waited for a little more, but he didn’t say anything else. Biting my lips for a second, I said, “You know, I…”
“Uh-huh,” replied Yoo Chun Young with downcast eyes. Biting my lips once more, I continued to speak with difficulty.
“I think we’ll keep seeing each other and would like to continue for it to happen.”
It was such a difficult thing to express how precious somebody was to someone else.
“You… you said to me every time…”
“Uh-huh.”
“… That you’re gonna stay beside me.”
“…”
“You kept talking about it from before that we’re gonna stay together. Don’t you remember? In summer, when we were sitting at the café, and when we all watched the video at my house…”
“Ah…”
He slowly nodded his head. Watching that sight, I almost got tears in my eyes. That weekend, when we all gathered at my house and watched the video, wasn’t a dream. I felt like those memories were finally confirmed to be true.
I continued, “We kept on talking at that time about what we would look like after a few years, so I…”
“Uh-huh,” replied Yoo Chun Young while nodding his head. His voice sounded way softer than earlier, so I felt like I was choking up. Trying hard to not reveal how emotional I became right now, I concluded my words.
“I really… really liked what you thought and said…”
Yoo Chun Young remained silent again. I uttered, “I truly loved the idea you know… whenever those conversations entered my had, I felt so happy to even think about it. I really don’t know how to articulate it better…”
My words sounded too crappy to listen. I wasn’t sure whether the context made sense or not. While I was dropping a remark, other words and thoughts flashed through my head and escaped from my mouth. ‘I liked it, I loved it.’ Only these words seemed to be continuously spoken.
Then I barely tied up my long and chaotic rambles.
“You’re that kind of person to me.”
Even I felt quite dumbfounded while dropping those words. What else did I say to him other than it would be good to keep staying together? Would that be enough to express all my heart?
Only the sound of rain resonated around us. A moment after, I couldn’t help but bite my lips at his following words.
“I feel the same way.”
“…”
“So did I. I also liked the idea that we would continue to stay together.”
From his quietly spoken words, I noticed that Yoo Chun Young was also saying the same thing as me. As if we were walking along the road not taken before, we were moving clumsily but heading toward the same direction in the end.
Yoo Chun Young uttered again, “To me, you are, of course, someone who must stay beside me now and forever.”
Listening to him quietly, I opened my mouth.
“But why are you guys doing this to me then?” I asked.
“That’s the reason,” he replied.
The rainfall over the slate roof became heavier. I looked up at him while standing upright through the blowing rain streaks. Staring at me serenely, Yoo Chun Young concluded his words.
“To keep seeing you.”
Watching his face intently, I soon shook my head.
“I don’t know… I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You shouldn’t know.”
A response returned without a second of hesitation.
“So that we can keep staying beside each other.”
The moment I tried to ask what it meant, Yoo Chun Young opened his umbrella, all of a sudden. With a loud noise, his blue umbrella splashed small beads of rainwater. While I stopped talking, he slowly paced his way holding his umbrella, then stood outside the slate roof. Once he turned around to look at me, I detached my lips again.
“What about now?”
Looking at me, Yoo Chun Young remained silent.
I repeated, “Why… why aren’t you staying beside me then?”
Yoo Chun Young, who was staring at me, turned his head and diverted his eyes onto somewhere else. He then stretched out his other hand to the pouring rain just like he did it toward me earlier. While his palm was filled with raindrops, Yoo Chun Young suddenly opened his mouth.
“When the rain stops…”
“Rain?”
“When the rain stops… let’s talk about it again.”
“…”
I dropped my gaze at the ground wordlessly for a moment. From his perplexed expression and his way of speaking just now, I could tell that he wasn’t being able to filter out his words as much as I did right now. His words, ‘when the rain stops,’ might indicate the minimum time that he needed to find a way to put himself together again.
Looking up at the cloudy sky, I thought, ‘Well, this rain won’t last until tomorrow though.’ That was when I could barely nod my head.
Once he checked my reaction, Yoo Chun Young turned around again. His blue umbrella faded away into a round shape and receded slowly from me. I could then open up mine and walk outside the slate roof.
Since we were both heading toward the gym, we couldn’t help but take the same path. I continued to move my steps while keeping a distance from him so that we wouldn’t look like companies. Meanwhile, I swallowed the questions left unspoken.
‘You…’
‘Are you still regarding me as your friend?’
<hr />
There was some weird smell, which was like a combination of rotten rubber and sweat odor, spreading out in the gym. As soon as I stepped into this huge space, that nasty smell struck my nose. No matter how fancy the facilities were, these kinds of odors were inevitable since about a thousand teenagers were running around the gym. Slightly knitting my noise, I stepped up to the second-floor spectator zone.
Once I reached the second floor, there were even smells from foods that the overall air turned into something more stinking. In the end, I raised my hand and covered my nose and lips. The Kim twins then waved at me who was protecting myself from the odors.
“Ah, you here?”
“Here’s your burger and coke.”
After Kim Hye Woo, Kim Hye Hill also greeted me while handing out the foods.
Taking those in my hands, I found that the coke was warm with melted ice as if the delivery took longer. Even the burger was soggy with wrappers soaked in the sauce. Having a loss of appetite, I tried to give them to someone else but decided to just have them.
I took a large bite which was almost half the size of the burger. The Kim twins, who were chitchatting leisurely, as usual, became surprised in a flash. They flung questions in bewilderment.
“Hey, is someone snatching those out from you? Take your time.”
“Didn’t you get something stuck in your throat? Here, have some coke.”
‘No thanks, I’m fine.’ Opening my eyes round, I shook my head to imply those words then finished the burger in three big bites. Watching me eating that way, the Kim twins and the kids around me all looked appalled.
Among those kids, the only person, who stayed relatively calm, was Shin Suh Hyun. Wiping out the beads of sweat dripping down his chin, he uttered, “Something else happened again.”
“How did you know that?”
As if he saw something serious flowing between Yoo Chun Young and me, Kim Hye Woo tossed a question in surprise. Shin Suh Hyun replied, “She munched like that when Yi Ruda transferred to another school.”
“Ah, now I get it.”
Listening to Kim Hye Woo’s response, I smiled embarrassedly.
The kids, who gathered to have some snacks, then left for the basketball game again. We raised our voices out loud to chant in the bleachers, but I soon punched the pit of my stuffy stomach.
Kim Hye Hill spoke from beside me, “You ate like you’re gonna have an upset stomach.”
“Ha… haha…”
Smiling awkwardly, I got up from my seat to go to the bathroom. Once I was there, I threw up everything that I ate eventually. ‘What a waste of food,’ murmuring that way, I rinsed my mouth. When I returned to the gym, the games were all over.
