I didn't speak.
The only sound was the car, speeding down the highway.
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." Wayne finally said something. "But Jake deserves to know too. Turn your phone on and give him a call."
I couldn't lift my head. "I can't."
"You can't?"
I gulped. "I have to wait until I know. I have to see that woman first." I tilted my head to look at him. "I'm staying the night here. Visiting hours start at 9am."
"We'll stay with you." He said, surprising me. "But you really need to turn on your phone and let the people who care about you, know that you're okay." He made brief eye contact. "You're going to be okay."
I sighed. I really should send a text to Jake and Rose. Just so they know I won't be back tonight. I didn't accomplish anything today.
Wayne drove back the way we came, pulling into a small 24hr diner. We waited for Zeke to park beside us before getting out. I followed them in the diner, where a waitress sat us at a table for four. When we placed our order, I just picked something randomly, not feeling like eating. The waitress left soon after.
I could feel Wayne's stare. "What?"
"Your phone?" He said. "Just send a couple texts out. I'm sure your agent, Coach, and GM all need to know where you're at too."
I let out a heavy sigh and pulled my phone out. Turning it on, it started to buzz with my missed notifications. They were just piling up now. I went to Jake's name first and thought about what to send.
Me: Couldn't see her tonight. I'll know more tomorrow.
Surprisingly, Jake messaged back almost immediately.
Jake: Do you really have to see her? I know you don't want to.
I bit my bottom lip, unsure of what to say. That I was suspicious of my Uncle's claims? I didn't know what to believe anymore? I wasn't even sure that she would tell me the truth, but sitting in jail, she didn't have much reason to lie.
Me: I have to.
Jake: Don't go. Come back. Things will go back to normal eventually.
I gulped. I'm not sure if I can stand it if things went back to 'normal'. What was normal? A lifelong lie? I put my phone down, unwilling to reply.
"Zeke, do you want to stay the night with us or drive the car back?" Wayne asked his eldest son.
I looked at him, confused. "You're staying?"
Wayne nodded. "If you are, then so am I. I can't just leave you here alone. I wouldn't let Jake face that woman, and honestly, I don't think it's a good idea for you to see her either."
"I have to." I repeated what I had sent in my text. There was an undeniable need to see her for answers. Uncle Jack… I shook my head. "I'll be fine on my own."
"I'll stay." Zeke spoke up. "Should I call and let Mom know?"
Wayne nodded. "Yes. Tell her I'll call her after we eat and check into a hotel for the night."
Zeke got up and stepped outside to make the call.
"I really don't need you here." I told Wayne directly. "You-"
"I know what it's like to face dysfunctional parents." Wayne cut me off. "Dysfunctional. Crazy. Inadequate. Nonexistent. I always wished I had someone there when I need it the most. Eventually someone did come and help me get back on my feet. I hope to do that for more youth. Pass on the favor."
"Is that why you like Jake?" I asked, eyes narrowed. "Just because he's someone you can fix?"
He shook his head. "I don't want to be the fixer. I just want to be the wall he can lean on." He looked me in the eye. "The wall that you can lean on."
I looked away, feeling uncomfortable. I had just snapped at this man again. I don't know what's going on, but there's no need for me to take it out on Wayne. He's done wonders for Jake. I should be thanking him every chance I get, not attacking him.
"Did you know that we've fostered kids before Jake?" Wayne asked suddenly. I glanced at him. "Usually emergency foster or short-term fostering. Nothing more than a couple months at a time. I've always wanted to give back. And maybe give those kids a look at what stability feels like."
He continued. "Jake is also the oldest kid we've ever taken in. Normally we take little ones in so it doesn't affect our kids, nor do our kids affect them. If that makes sense?"
I slowly nodded. "You don't want to throw a teen in with your teens. It might feel hostile."
"It also might make them feel excluded." He added. "With the little ones, they know they're different than our boys. So it's okay to treat them differently. When Mary heard Jake's story, it was a first for us. An older boy, who recently almost lost his life, and that didn't want to talk. Man, we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into." He chuckled to himself.
"Was it hard?" I asked. Jake doesn't talk much now. I can't imagine him being completely silent.
"At times." He nodded lightly. "But our boys accepted him so quickly. Really, all the credit goes to Noah. Making him comfortable, pushing him to try new things, while also defending him from anything that he didn't like. Jake became one of us so quickly. I think we always knew that we couldn't give him up, but when Mary went down south to see his old school…there was no going back."
"Why did she do that?" I frowned.
He scratched his cheek. "Jake didn't mention you or his father. It was a suspicion that we had, that he craved being a part of a brotherhood. We figured we could do some investigating of our own as Zeke was visiting a few colleges."
"I bet he hated me." I groaned, putting my head in my hands. "What's wrong with me? I should have just gone back. Just once."
"Everyone makes mistakes." Wayne reached over to pat me on the back. "Jake forgave you. He worries about you visiting this woman. He couldn't be here for you so I'll be here for you." He smiled. "You're alive. Life isn't all that bad. This is just a rough patch."
I returned a stiff smile. "It's a really rough patch right now. Like a giant sinkhole."
"Sinkholes aren't irreparable." Wayne told me.
I snorted. "I bet…you wouldn't think that if you knew what I knew."
The waitress had impeccable timing, coming back with our food just as I wanted to tell Wayne all my problems. Zeke came back too, sitting down on the other side of his dad.
"I'm not saying that things won't change." Wayne said after the waitress left us. "It's how you handle the change. Don't go in thinking that everything will go back to the way it was. That way was obviously not as steady as you thought."
"I think I'm about to lose the family I've been with for the last decade." I told him. "My uncle. My aunt. My cousins. If…"
"The future is unpredictable." Wayne told me. "No 'ifs' for now. Let's just get through tonight. Gather your thoughts and put together a list of what you want to ask tomorrow."
"Okay." He was right. I was jumping ahead of myself.
