Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations
“I said ‘don’t go’ and he said he wasn’t going to. I said ‘don’t leave me behind’ and he said he wouldn’t… And, and what else? Hm… I can’t remember…”
An Xiaxia scratched her head, looking vexed.
Sheng Yize: … Interesting.
Talk about traumatising an idol…
An Xiaxia blinked. “I had another dream before that one.”
“Which was?”
“It’s a secret.”
An Xiaxia grinned, overwhelmed by a warm, sweet feeling.
That “Courage” had been for her.
It was really, really beautiful.
–
It was deep into the night.
Unexpectedly, Su Xiaomo couldn’t sleep. She swallowed two sleeping pills and tried to will herself back to sleep.
She was home alone and the room felt so empty.
She regretted it already. Had she known, she wouldn’t have fought with He Jiayu that capriciously.
She feared nothing more than being alone.
The early autumn air was cool on the skin. Su Xiaomo huddled under her blanket, shivering involuntarily.
In the silence of the night, it felt awful to be all by herself after switching off the lights.
It hadn’t felt so unbearable during these last few years with He Jiayu by her side. Now that she was alone again, the pain that no one else would understand came back.
Meanwhile.
He Jiayu got his hands on information about Su Xiaomo’s childhood.
The history which other people knew little about…
Su Xiaomo won first prize in a drawing competition at her nursery school when she was three and her parents took it seriously when her teacher casually commented that she had “a knack for drawing.”
They signed her up for a drawing class and the kid who knew little about everything was forced to learn.
Back then, they were just an ordinary working class family and her parents had invested a lot into her drawing lessons.
The more they invested, the higher they expected the returns to be.
Su Xiaomo was constantly registered for all kinds of competitions. Her parents would show off when she got an award, but when she came back empty-handed, instead of hitting her, which they feared would give her scars, they either kept her on her knees or starved her as punishment. They soon became experts in that sort of abuse.
Su Xiaomo lived in such an atmosphere until she was eight.
By then, she was as skillful as any art student at sketching landscapes and portraits.
Winter that year was exceptionally cold. Instead of drawing, she wanted to have fireworks. She would never forget the disappointed looks her parents gave her.
“We’ve invested everything in you, but you would rather play than draw? How can you let us down like this? Do you wish to see us die?”
Su Xiaomo cried and shook her head repeatedly and was thrown into the studio by her father. “From now on, you’re not coming out until you finish six sketches of the plaster figures every day!”
Those who knew about drawing probably had an idea how time-consuming sketches were, not to mention portraits. Su Xiaomo was the perfectionist type. Once she started, she wouldn’t slack off.
Hence, she worked for nearly 20 hours until she finished them all.
Seeing this, instead of pitying their daughter, her parents exchanged fervid looks.
Hence, Su Xiaomo’s nightmare began.
Her parents set their minds to making her into an artist. They made her drop out of school, shut her up in the house, and forced her to draw for over 16 hours a day.
From eight to twelve, apart from the rare occasions that she got to hang out with An Xiaxia and Kang Jian, she never set foot outside that studio.
After midnight one day when the stars were twinkling overhead, Su Xiaomo picked up a utility knife and slit her wrist…
