“Alicia.” A familiar voice called out to me. I have heard this voice many times since I arrived in this palace. But even after this many years I can’t help but feel the distance between us.
I look around to find king father walking towards me. All the people that he passed by bowed down to him.
“Greetings to you king father.” I curtsied when he was just a few steps in front of me.
“Rise my child.” Father said
I looked up and see father looking at me with love and affection that he has never once shown to me before. This surprised me so I turned my gaze away, not to the extent that he would notice.
“Let me look at you before you leave.” Father gently cupped my face and raised my face. He looked at me with such warmth. “You really have your mother’s looks.”
My father’s words gave me a sense of warmth. Something I have craved from him since the first time I met him.
“I want to apologize to you my child.” Father’s voice was firm and gentle. “I have never been such a father to you. I know that in your heart, you have some ill feelings towards me.”
His words shook me. It is true that I have some ill feelings against him to some extent. It has been many years since he has taken me in as his daughter but he never once been a father to me. Even though in the exterior, I seem to be okay with his cold treatment towards me but deep down inside, I have always hoped he would love me even just a bit. The years that I lived and grew up with my step siblings, seeing them being treated well by my father made me envious.
And now with father’s words, my inner most feelings are trying to surface. I was trying to suppress the tears that are at the rim of my eyes.
“Oh, my Alicia.” Father might have seen how I was fighting back the tears from falling. He quickly pulled me into his embrace. “Shh, don’t cry. It’s father’s fault. It’s all this father’s fault.”
His words broke the dam that was holding back my feelings. I then cried out loud like a child in her father’s embrace.
“Why? Why only now father?” I let out my pent up frustration on him. “I have always craved for your love. I have tried my best to be well behaved. I have always hoped that even though I was just an illegitimate child, if I behave well you would at least give a glance or a simple recognition. But it was all in vain. I thought you really never loved me, that I was just a mistake that you made for only one night with my mother who was only a maid.”
“Shhh…shhh. It’s my fault, please forgive me.” Father was patting my back trying to console me. “I know my past actions cannot be forgiven lightly and all my reasons are just excuses, but please don’t think that I do not love you.”
Father held my face and lifted it up. He gently wiped away the tears with his thumb. “I have always loved you as my daughter Alicia. You were never a mistake my child. Don’t ever think of that. Your mother is the only woman I have ever loved in my life. I had made bad choices, wrong decisions and I have regretted all of them until now. But at least I want to correct one mistake and that is to show you that I love you, my daughter.”
Hearing the words ’I love you’ and ’My daughter’ made my heart squeeze with both pain and happiness. This made me cry even more and father never let go of me in his embrace. He continuously comforted me in my sobs.
I didn’t know how long I have cried after my sobs have subsided. When I calmed down, father released me from his embrace.
“Are you alright now?” Father asked me with gentleness while wiping the remaining tears away.
I nodded as a reply and a handkerchief was handed to me in an instant. When I looked up, I see Regaleon who was handing me his handkerchief.
“Have you calmed down?” Regaleon asked with patience. I nodded to his question and took his handkerchief and wiped my eyes from the tear stains.
“Father in law.” Regaleon gave his greeting to father and father nodded as acknowledgement. “I hate to interrupt but I am afraid we must proceed with the parade.”
“I understand.” Father replied curtly.
I nearly forgot that the grand parade was about to start and that we were standing at place where many people were preparing. When I looked around the employees and maids that were busy were looking at us with tearing eyes.
’They just saw our family drama.’ I thought. This made me felt embarrassed. I feel like I want to dig a hole on the ground and hide.
Regaleon may have noticed my embarrassment, he pulled me into his embrace with my face buried into his chest.
“If you can excuse us father in law? I want to take Alicia to freshen her up.” Regaleon asked.
Regaleon’s reasons is what I really need right now. I feel that my eyes were swollen from the crying.
“Of course.” Father gave us his permission.
Before Regaleon was able to escort me away, father called out to him.
“Prince Regaleon.” Father called and Regaleon turned around. “Please take care of my daughter in my stead.” I can hear father’s utmost sincerity with his request.
Regaleon hooked up his lips into his clever smile. “Even without you asking your grace, I intend to take care of her until the day I die.”
There was a hint of irritation in my father’s face for an instant but then he heaved a sigh and nodded in acknowledgement.
After that Regaleon took me away to help me freshen up before the grand parade begins.
