“Why, you ask. Don’t you know that a woman has her needs too, Mr. Lu? You have your needs, and so do I,” she said pointedly. She would not believe it if he told her they did nothing but chat innocently beneath their sheets for two years.
Lu Yi frowned. He didn’t want to explain anything.
Yan Huan leaned against one end of the sofa and propped her chin up on one elbow, her movements languid like a cat.
“But it’s good that you are here, Mr. Lu. I have something to tell you too, you see, and this saves me the time to go looking for you.”
“Go on,” said Lu Yi with a calm that was so profound that Yan Huan could not read his thoughts. It was almost as if they were strangers. The thought made Yan Huan want to laugh.
Perhaps that was good in its own way.
“As you know, we are bound by a military marriage,” she began. She turned the ring around her finger gently, her gaze stopping at Lu Yi’s fingers. His ring was gone.
Lu Yi clutched his ring finger tightly, from where a vague pain stemmed and spread all the way to his heart.
Yan Huan smiled, a smile that no man could resist. She melted into the sofa. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain at her tummy.
She was laughing so hard her tummy hurt.
Life was all about laughing, isn’t it? What good was crying?
“I’m hoping that…” she looked up, and within her eyes, the twinkle died. “Mr. Lu would grant me a favor.”
“A favor?” Lu Yi did not understand. “What do you mean?”
Yan Huan’s lips parted gently and let out a few words.
“I want… a divorce.”
“A divorce?” Lu Yi’s fingers on the table clenched hard. “Because I don’t remember you anymore?”
“You think too much, Mr. Lu,” Yan Huan got up, walked to Lu Yi, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t love you anymore, Mr. Lu. I want to move on to a new life. You have a new life too, don’t you, Mr. Lu? Didn’t you promise me that you would give me anything I asked for?”
“A divorce is all that I want now. It’s not too much to ask for, is it?”
She ran her fingers gently across Lu Yi’s face. I don’t want a man who had been used by another woman.
Lu Yi pushed her hand away. When their hands touched, they both felt a scorching pain in their hearts.
Yan Huan snorted softly and returned to her position. Just say yes already, Mr. Lu. Yan Huan pulled a drawer open and found a packet of cigarettes from within. She drew one out from the box and lit it, then pulled on it.
She was a nicotine addict in her past life. In this life she had abstained from it, until now. Still, she remembered the feeling of smoking. Women who smoke are sexy, but, as often as not, seedy at the same time.
That’s why most men tend to keep their distance from female smokers.
“Your answer?” asked Yan Huan as she took another puff. “You should know who I am, and my reputation isn’t the best as of late. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to get involved with me and have more of your history dug up by the media.”
That was a threat, Lu Yi knew.
He stood up, turned around, and walked off without a word.
The door closed with a click. Amid the cigarette smoke, Yan Huan took another puff of her cigarette. Her eyes were misty.
“I know you’ll say yes…” she muttered. A sharp pain called upon her lower abdomen intermittently.
When Ye Shuyun came over again, she did not know how to face Yan Huan.
Yan Huan sat at the same spot with a cigarette between her fingers. Cigarette butts piled the ashtray; no one knew how many sticks she had run through already. The room was filled with the smell of tobacco.
“What are you doing, Huanhuan?!” Ye Shuyun rushed up to her, snatched the cigarette away, and disposed of it in the ashtray.
“Mom,” Yan Huan blinked. Like a child, she huddled up against her. “Lu Yi came over today.”
Ye Shuyun felt helplessly sad.
“I asked him for a favor…a divorce. But he didn’t give it to me.”
Her voice was soft, but her words were heavy on Ye Shuyun’s heart.
“Have it you thought it through, Huanhuan?”
“Yes…” Yan Huan looked up. “I’ve told you before, haven’t I? He was with me during my journey of self-discovery. He’s very good to me, and during those days I gave him my promise.”
“Lu Yi is honoring his promises, and I’m honoring mine. Isn’t that for the best?”
“He will remember someday,” said Ye Shuyun. She always believed her son would regain his memories someday, for no other reason than him being her son. She knew, for she was the one who had brought him to this world.
He wasn’t someone who would bow down to destiny. Even if he couldn’t remember, he would do his best to regain his past memories. He wouldn’t just let his past self fade into the labyrinth of time.
“But I can’t wait any longer,” said Yan Huan, looking up into her eyes. “My reputation is already tarnished, Mom.”
Ye Shuyun dissolved into tears. She didn’t blame Yan Huan, truly. This wasn’t her fault. It was their fault and Lu Yi’s fault. They never gave her the treatment she deserved, and Lu Yi had let her down. Forgotten all about her.
Yan Huan waited for her answer. All Ye Shuyun wanted to do was to delay, to think it through, to say no.
But in the end, she said yes, in a crying voice.
“You are Mom’s daughter, even if you get a divorce with Lu Yi. You will always be my daughter, I promise.”
Yan Huan smiled, a satisfied smile that had a little smugness in it. But Ye Shuyun wasn’t angry at all. She knew that Yan Huan was using her, but she remembered everything in the past. No amount of wrongdoings or bad decisions could undo what she did for the Lu Family.
They owed their lives to her.
After Ye Shuyun left, Yan Huan was alone again. She drew another cigarette from the carton and began another one. A coughing fit suddenly overcame her. She huddled up and began crying.
“I’m sorry…”
Another apology. Who was it directed towards? Was it herself? Was it Ye Shuyun, whom she had used? Or was it someone else?
Knock, knock. Ye Shuyun rapped on her son’s door.
