“Hello…” he called out into his phone as he plopped down on the chair, feeling exhausted.
“Doctor Lee, it’s me, Yan Huan.”
Yan Huan’s hands were tightly wrapped around the medical report.
Doctor Lee was stunned. He massaged his temples as he sighed, “Have you found the report?”
Yan Huan was swamped by a wave of sorrow. The heart-rending news brought her immense agony that she failed to bear.
“Is it true?”
“Yes, it is.” Doctor Lee knew what Yan Huan wanted to ask, but he did not expect her to find the report now. He thought that he could keep the truth from her forever. Since Lu Yi was gone, it was best for Yan Huan to never learn about the truth.
Unfortunately, she managed to unearth the secret two years later.
“If you insist on knowing, I will be honest with you. Otherwise, you can act as if nothing has ever happened. This was Lu Yi’s request. Since he’s no longer with us, there’s no point for you to press on this matter. It’s better if you can forgo the truth.”
Yan Huan tightened her grip on her phone and simultaneously loosened her hold on the medical report. It slipped out of her fingers, and fell onto the ground.
“I have more reasons to demand the truth now that he’s gone. I want to know what did I do wrong. What else was he hiding from me?”
“Are you sure you want to know about it?” Doctor Lee repeated the question.
“Yes, I am positive.” Yan Huan was very certain with her decision. She desperately wanted to know the reason behind it. Regardlessly, she wanted to know every detail about it.
“Fine, I’ll tell you,” Doctor Lee replied as he rose to his feet and made his way to the window. It was frigid outside. The atmosphere was depressing as every tree has wilted.
“Do you remember the year when you joined us as a soldier and you received a severe blow from Miao Xinyuan in your stomach?”
“Of course I remember.” Yan Huan touched her belly, she could still remember the pain vividly. It was so unbearable that she almost passed out.
“Are you saying that…” She smiled wryly. “I was injured by Miao Xinyuan’s attack?”
“Yes.” Dr Lee heaved a faint sigh. He did not know what was the best way to explain the situation to Yan Huan. It was better if she could live her life knowing nothing about this. However, now that the skeleton in the cupboard had been released, she would have to bear the weight of the truth.
In fact, she did not have to torture herself. However, since Yan Huan refused to take no as an answer, he had to respect her decision.
“You were not hurt externally, but your uterus was affected. It was badly injured by Miao Xinyuan’s kick. Maybe she had been scheming to hurt you all along, bringing her to aim at your uterus when she attacked you. After all, she is an experienced instructor. She must be fully aware of the rules and regulations. Otherwise, Lu Yi would not have sent Miao Xinyuan directly to the court-martial without giving face to the Miao family, not to mention that she’s still behind bars. Moreover, even the Miao family has no power to bail her out in spite of their strenuous effort.”
“So, I’m infertile?” Yan Huan put on a miserable smile.
So, Miao Xinyuan was the reason behind Yan Huan’s barrenness all along.
“What about Lu Yi? How was his health condition?” Yan Huan wanted to know the answer even if the truth was hard to swallow.
“He was in good shape and very healthy,” Doctor Lee answered truthfully. “He underwent body check-ups annually. You can look up for his medical reports. Everything was recorded in details.”
“Thanks. I understood. There’s no need for more proofs.”
She had gotten the answer she wanted.
She hung up the phone. As she lowered her head, tears streamed down her cheeks. Before long, the crumpled medical report was soaked in Yan Huan’s tears. The words on the papers were smudged and were no longer decipherable.
She folded the report neatly before she placed it back into Lu Yi’s coat.
You did not leave many things for me, but most of the things are wounding. Will we still be married in our next lives? Will we cross paths again? Will you still remember me?
Sadly, no one could provide an answer to her question.
In fact, no one would carry forward their memories from this life to the next life. Even humans would be reduced into mere particles. Everything would come to an end and all light would be wiped out.
God would not grant her another chance to be reborn.
She thought to herself, Am I really going to live the rest of my life with these memories on my shoulder? Will I continue to feel guilty and miserable forever?
She was so naive to believe Lu Yi’s words because he had never lied to her. Unfortunately, she was wrong. He lied to her. Not only that, it was the worst lie ever. If he was still alive, would she still believe that he was the reason behind their childlessness? She was actually the infertile one among the couple. Then, what would Lu Yi have her do?
After all, he would probably let go of this matter. He would love and care for her even more dearly for he was even willing to sacrifice his life for her.
However, what could she do for him in this lifetime?
She could only place a bouquet of flowers on his tombstone.
But, what’s the use of that?
She lay down on her bed. She could not pick up any scent that belonged to either her or Lu Yi. The only smell that lingered around the room was a faint fragrance from the laundry detergent. The sheets were washed and dried under the sun daily and the scent was long gone. It felt as if it was a stranger’s blanket and she was staying in a stranger’s house.
The house was lonely and empty. It was as if she had lost everything and could never retrieve them ever again. She was broken and was not able to piece herself back together.
She stopped eating and drinking for a few days. At times, she had the urge to end her life. However, when she was reminded about Lu Yi’s parents, who were currently abroad, she could not bring herself to do it.
She almost forgot that she had a pair of old folks to take care of. Owing to her promise to Lu Yi, she was determined to stay alive even if there was nothing worth living for. She was indebted to Lu Yi and his parents.
She packed her bags and returned to the Lu residence, giving the housekeeper the fright of her life.
“Miss Yan, what happened to you? Why did you lose so much weight?”
“I lost weight because I miss your cooking, aunty,” answered Yan Huan. She forced a smile even though the wound underneath her eyes had grown deeper.
The housekeeper was embarrassed by Yan Huan’s sweet words.
“Speaking of which, Miss Yan, are you hungry? Is there anything you would like to have? I’m more than happy to cook for you.”
“Anything will do. I’m not a picky eater.” Yan Huan had lost her appetite even though she was supposedly starving. She could not recall when exactly was her last meal. However, she was not in the mood for eating and she refused to eat.
Moments later, the housekeeper informed her that dinner was ready.
