She opened the door and walked out of the room. What she did not know was that Yan Huan’s finger, which was on top of her blanket, appeared to twitch slightly. Then, it stopped moving.
She did not want to wake up. She would rather live like a vegetable, as that would be much better than waking up to face everything that had happened. Maybe she could just continue sleeping, as it did not hurt when she was asleep. Yes, just continue sleeping, and she would not feel the pain anymore.
However, no matter how long she slept, she had to wake up sooner or later.
Things would not change for the better simply because she was asleep. She would not be able to find another ending.
Things were just the way they were.
Nothing changed, no matter how hard she tried to run away from it.
Yi Ling came back after a while. She placed a basin of warm water on the table and soaked a face towel in the water. After wringing the towel dry, she was just about to clean Yan Huan’s face when someone opened the door from outside.
“Let me do it.” A hand reached over and took the towel away from Yi Ling’s hand.
Yi Ling’s fingers trembled, but she eventually put her hands down helplessly. She lowered her head and did not dare to make any sound. She felt extremely remorseful, and the guilt was driving her crazy. Then, she felt a hand on her shoulder, which started to pat her gently.
“Big Aunt…” Only now did Yi Ling pluck up enough courage to speak, but she only dared to utter these two words.
“It’s not your fault.” Ye Shuyun patted Yi Ling’s shoulder again. “We all agreed to it when we went. You don’t have to shoulder all the blame yourself and live with the guilt forever, because you do not deserve to suffer like this.”
Yi Ling did not know if Ye Shuyun was mocking herself inadvertently. Ye Shuyun took the face towel and placed it on Yan Huan’s face. Her movement was so light that it was as though she was afraid that she would accidentally scrape her face.
As she was cleaning her face, she looked at Yan Huan’s sunken face with a heavy heart. Her body had been bloated and swollen previously, so it was not very obvious that she had gotten very thin. Now that the swelling had subsided, her body had shriveled up to nothing but skin and bones.
“Lu Yi’s biggest fear was you becoming too thin. He would only be relieved and at peace if you eat well and gain back your weight. We only have a few members in our family. Tell me, what are your father and I going to do if we lose both Lu Yi and you as well? How do you expect the both of us to continue living our lives?”
She closed her eyes with a lump in her throat. She could barely hold it in. She grasped hard onto the towel in her hands as she had no idea what she could do if she did not do so.
After so long, she was finally willing to accept the fact that Lu Yi was not with them anymore. However, that acknowledgement was so painful and cruel to her. Is there any pain in the world that is greater than the pain of parents sending away their own child?
He was her one and only son in her whole lifetime.
She turned around again and placed the towel into the basin of water absentmindedly.
She scrubbed the towel to clean it and wrung it dry. Ye Shuyun carefully wiped Yan Huan’s fingers, which had gotten so thin that they looked like chicken feet. The back of her palm was a pool of green. The blood vessels looked as though they could not take the pierce of a needle anymore.
“Please wake up. Mom can handle this, and so can you. I believe that what Lu Yi wanted the most is for you to continue living happily, only then I can continue living my life too.”
“You’re a good child, no one blames you for this.” She rested her hand tentatively on Yan Huan’s face, only to realize that her body temperature was very low. Yan Huan was so cold that sometimes she wondered if she was already dead.
She was only assured that Yan Huan was still alive by checking her breathing. It was true that she had already lost Lu Yi. Therefore, she could not bear to lose Yan Huan too. Even though Yan Huan was just her daughter-in-law, she had always treated her as her own daughter.
Time still passed, those who were destined to leave would leave, and those who were destined to stay would stay. Everyone in this world would go through birth, old age, sickness and eventually death. Everybody was just waiting for the time when they left the world, either from old age or illness.
Yan Huan was still half dead. She did not wake up, so maybe the only thing that was still alive was her body. Other than Lu Yi’s death, Yan Huan had also been comatose for some time. She was probably going to end her own life in her sleep soon.
“We will be visiting Lu Yi today.” Yi Ling came over and took Yan Huan’s hands in hers. She could barely feel the flesh on her fingers, is this a human palm or a chicken foot?
“Big Aunt finally accepted Lu Yi’s death, and so they are building a cenotaph for Lu Yi. We are all going there today as it is the fourth week since he passed away. Huanhuan, don’t you want to see him too?”
She exerted some strength in her fingers as she said that. She was unsure whether the pain on her fingers had inadvertently caused the pain in her heart as well.
“We’ve got to go.” Yi Ling stood up and wiped her face. Her voice was still nasally. “The nurses here will take care of you. We will be back with you in the afternoon, we won’t leave you alone.”
She leaned over and caressed Yan Huan’s face.
“Even though Lu Yi is not here anymore, you still have us, don’t you?”
She wanted to smile, but she could only widen her mouth in a pitiful semblance of a smile in the end. She was unable to put up a smile, nor could she laugh. However, if someone were to ask her to cry, she would be able to do it instantly and immediately.
Following that, the gentle sound of the door closing could be heard.
Some time later, a gust of wind seemed to whistle through the windows and found its way into the room. The curtains billowed in the wind, and a strand of hair lying on the patient’s forehead swayed in the breeze.
Right at this moment, it slowly rose, and fell back gently. Then, all was calm again.
Eventually, the person’s long eyelashes fluttered slightly. But, she was still not awake. Perhaps she did not want to wake up, she was unwilling to wake up, or maybe she just could not wake up.
However, nobody knew about this.
Yi Ling was dressed in all black. She placed a bouquet of flowers in front of the gravestone.
There was a picture of a young man on the gravestone. He was indeed very young, about 30 years old. He was a mature man who was responsible, composed and perhaps emotionless. But in reality, they knew that he had helped countless people, and all his cases were judged fairly without bias or prejudice. His name was Lu Yi. Today was his final seventh day.
Ye Shuyun took a step forward and gently brushed her hand over her son’s gravestone. “Son, Lu Yi, this is the spot Mom chose for you. Mom wants you to settle down as soon as possible, I don’t want you to become a stray spirit, which is why Mom made you a new home here. Look around, isn’t it beautiful? Mom has specifically picked it for you. When my time comes, I will come and accompany you again, is that good? You won’t be alone by then.”
She pressed her face against the cold gravestone, as if it could bring her closer to her son. However, who could have guessed that Lu Yi’s ashes were not in the grave, because Lu Yi had no remains. He did not even have ashes. What was buried here was nothing but a shirt that he had worn before.
