Coming out of the secret room, Su Wan violently coughed till specks of blood coloured her lips. At this moment, even the delicate make up could not cover the deathly paleness of her face.
“Jiejie!”
Su Rui’s voice was filled with never before seen panic. When the panic reached Su Rui’s eyes, Su Wan subconsciously raised her hand and gently held his hand: “It’s alright. I’m fine.”
Su Wan forced herself to smile at Su Rui. That smile looked as if she had been through life and death.
Su Wan’s health became very poor. It was as if she returned to the days where her illness was beyond cure. This made Su Rui extremely anxious. In the end, he could only personally go to Si Jia and invite Physician Si.
After not meeting for many days, Physician Si also looked a lot thinner. Even though Su Rui found Physician Si displeasing to the eye, for the important matter of Su Wan’s life or death, Su Rui had to give in to a compromise.
Right now, in an elegantly furnished room, were only Su Wan and Physician Si.
“You’ve become thinner.”
Su Wan looked at her bedside at Physician Si whose voice was somewhat hoarse. Physician Si was stunned. He saw Su Wan’s eyes which was filled with more heartache.
He knew of the matters that happened that night at Yue Wangfu. He knew of Su Wan’s departure and knew she was carried away by Su Rui after fainting into unconsciousness.
He couldn’t imagine how Su Wan must have felt at that moment. Was it despair? Was it suffering?
“Why do you not care for yourself?”
Physician Si felt Su Wan’s pulse and found that her situation was very grave. It was because she didn’t eat well nor did she sleep well and she also kept her frustrations pent up.
Su Wan did not reply to Physician Si’s question. His eyes filled with uncertainty, he looked at the table not far away: “Physician Si, tell me, what do people live for ne? For themselves? For others? For love or for what?”
“Junzhu….”
“Call my given name ba.”
Su Wan drooped her eyes and gave Physician Si a shallow smile: “You are my only friend ne. When I was a child, my health was very poor so I rarely went out of the General fu. Afterwards, when I was older, I went to the Imperial City to learn and I met several biaoges…..”
Speaking till here, Su Wan’s voice went lower and lower: “If time can flow backwards, how great would it be. Physician Si……”
It was unknown what Su Wan thought of but she suddenly stretched out her soft but cold little hand and gripped Physician Si’s big hand: “Your medical skills is exemplary. Could you, could you…. Help me research a type of medicine for me, to let me…..forget how to love someone? To love some, is actually…… too painful. I really…… it hurts.”
“Su Wan.”
Physician Si felt his heart suddenly ache and couldn’t help but raise his arms and partially hold Su Wan in his embrace: “Don’t be this way. The world is so large, there is bound to be someone who loves you. Waiting for you. If you’re good then there will surely be many people who will love you. Therefore, you need to live well, live very well, you know?”
“Live well…..”
Su Wan seemed a little bit tired and weakly curled in Physician Si’s embrace: “I also wish to live well but when I think of biaoge who is now living in a loving relationship with Ye Zhi Hua, my heart aches so much. How could he be so cruel, saying that if he doesn’t love me anymore then he doesn’t love me anymore. Then, how do I count those years where I gave my all? I can’t persuade myself anymore, I can’t deceive my own heart anymore. There were times when I even had vicious thoughts. If one day biaoge also abandoned Ye Zhi Hua, then I’m not sure if I’m able to let it go. I think I would feel less hurt. Physician Si, tell me, am I a terrible person? Perhaps, what biaoge and Ye Zhi Hua said was right. I am a malicious woman.”
“No, you’re wrong.”
Physician Si tightened his arm: “You’re not vicious. They are.”
They are…..
Hearing Physician Si’s words, Su Wan’s agitation seemed to calm down a lot. She slowly closed her eyes: “Physician Si, has anyone ever told you that your embrace….. is very comfortable.”
Unconciously, Su Wan docilely leaned in Physician Si’s arms and fell asleep.
Her soundly sleeping appearance looked especially peaceful and tranquil. Physician Si did not dare to move and gave up trying to move. He sat very still as he gently held her in his arms……
At night, Lu Zhu gave Su Wan a freshly brewed decoction that was made in accordance to Physician Si’s new prescription. This time, the prescription suited Su Wan really well till she even completely drained the bowl.
After finishing the medicine, she was waited upon by Lu Zhu. Su Wan bathed and changed as usual, and put out the light to retire for the night.
After a short time, there was a long even breathing sounds coming from Su Wan on the bed. Seeing that her master had finally slept, Lu Zhu felt relieved and went to rest on the bed in the partial hall.
In the middle of the night, there was another shadow in front of Su Wan’s bed.
The figure was quietly sitting at her bedside. Even in the dark, the eyes staring at her were still bright and focused.
Su Wan who was on the bed didn’t feel anything. She seemed as if she wasn’t sleeping comfortably. She turned over slightly and the quilt moved with her movements, exposing her shoulder. The person by the bed wrinkled his eyebrows and raised his hand to pull the quilt. After pulling and pulling till Su Wan was completely wrapped up in the quilt, that person was finally satisfied and stopped. Then, the person looked at her intently until dawn…..
The next day, Su Wan was pretty lively. With Physician Si’s “treatment”, she naturally did not have to think of ways to “harm” her body. Now that everything is prepared, it should be time to harvest the results…….
Capital, Ye fu.
These few days, Ye Jia’s livelihood had been particularly terrible. Originally, when Ye Zhi Hua became Yue Wangfei, Ye Jia originally should be proud and happy but who knew that the second days after Ye Zhi Hua was conferred the title of Yue Wangfei, Imperial Censor Ye was held back in court to be impeached by others in front of the Emperor. Not only was three months of his salary deducted, it also implicated others from the Ye clan.
Every one of the ministers in the royal court were trouble-makers. This Ye Jia had offended who knows whose family’s child that the family held dear in their hearts. Who dares to come forward for Ye Jia?
Can’t you see His Highness Yue Wang only had a gloomy face and wasn’t talking?
Because he betrayed Su Wan, Xuan Yuan Rui was in the wrong. The Emperor originally tuned a blind eye to Yue Wang bestowing a title to Ye Zhi Hua. Who knew that once this occurred, Su Rui would rise up to fight back!
The Emperor held Su Jia in high regard. Also, Su Rui and Su Wan’s mother were part of the Imperial family. The two houses were tied together by marriage and their bonds were unbreakable. Su Wan’s marriage with Xuan Yuan Rui was also considered to be cementing old ties by marriage but Ye Zhi Hua interrupted halfway through and everything started to go into turmoil.
At this time, His Majesty the Emperor seemed to have forgotten his acquiescence at that time. He regarded Xuan Yuan Rui as a hero who had a weakness for the charms of a beauty. He delayed more important matters for the sake of his personal relationship. This made him feel dissatisfied with this favourite son of his.
And Xuan Yuan Rui?
He had even more unspeakable bitter sufferings. Originally, after eradicating that sinister and cunning Xuan Yuan Qing, that obstacle, and having a loving relationship with his true love, it should be the most indulging willful period of his life. Yet, Su Wan’s unexpected departure and Su Rui’s fierce offensive suddenly made Xuan Yuan Rui’s life a mess.
His Majesty secretly hinted at him in public to make Su Wan his Yue Wangfei again and even wanted Ye Zhi Hua to return the title of Yue Wangfei herself to Su Wan. In regard to this proposal, Xuan Yuan Rui naturally refused to agree.
At this time, Ye Jia was besieged on all sides and kept turning to Yue Wangfu for help. Ye Zhi Hua wanted to help but she did not have the ability to. Because this worry was too heavy, she fell ill. Xuan Yuan Rui had to ask Physician Si to come see her.
Ye Zhi Hua was on her sickbed with a pale face, showing an I’m so pitiful appearance. Physician Si looked at her sickly look and for some reason, thought of Su Wan’s appearance when she was weak and coughed up blood. In his heart, his ill feelings towards Ye Zhi Hua increased again.
“Imperial Physician Si, I heard that you went to the General fu a few days ago?”
Although deep down in her heart, she knew that Su Wan and Xuan Yuan Rui had no connections at all, Ye Zhi Hua was still unaware of her unconscious desire to pay close attention to each and every move of Su Wan’s.
In fact, Ye Zhi Hua also understand His Majesty the Emperor’s meaning. If it was the past her, as long as she had the opportunity to be with Xuan Yuan Rui, she will be content. Even if it was not fated and she couldn’t take him as her own, it did not matter.
But it is different now. Now, she is Yue Wangfei and was righteously Xuan Yuan Rui’s wife. They were deeply in love with each other and had strong feelings like honey. After tasting too much of this happiness, her heart slowly felt discontented. Xuan Yuan Rui was hers, why must she need to give him to Su Wan?
Su Wan was obviously a person who’s going to die. Faced with her imminent death, why must she still want to snatch her beloved husband from her?
Right now, although Ye Zhi Hua still had a weak complexion, Physician Si could still see a strange look from her gaze.
Muttering to himself for a moment, Physician Si heaved a sigh: “Ai, I only went to diagnose the Xiao Junzhu, her health…..”
“Su…Junzhu, what happened to her?”
Ye Zhi Hua’s eyes flashed and she stared at Physician Si’s face.
“The Junzhu’s illness is incurable . Throughout the night she has difficulty sleeping…” Speaking till her, Physician Si’s expression dimmed and there was a somewhat sorrowful look on his face: “She lives in….. a lot of pain.”
Perhaps it was because he thought of that day when she leaned into his embrace with a sorrowful and agonised look, Physician Si’s voice unconsciously carried a bit of distress.
On the other hand, Ye Zhi Hua was not paying attention to Physician Si’s moodiness. She only thought of these two words “incurable illness” and that Su Wan’s life cannot be prolonged.
“Junzhu is really pitiful.”
Ye Zhi Hua delicately looked at Physician Si: “I only have an ordinary cold and I am already feeling so uncomfortable. Most probably Junzhu who is seriously ill and is afraid of dying probably feels that it is better to die. The moment I think that she is being tormented by this illness, my heart feels unwell. Rather than being tormented by this disease, perhaps…..a quiet departure is the best relief for her.”
In the middle of speaking, Ye Zhi Hua cautiously looked at Physician Si’s response.
Ye Zhi Hua was known as a gifted scholar since she was young so, she felt that she was extremely intelligent. Especially after being reborn, the feeling of strategizing unconsciously made her feel as if she was a cut above other people.
In fact, the first time Physician Si came to the wangfu to treat her illness, Ye Zhi Hua saw that Imperial Physician Si was a soft-hearted person and seemed to have a favourable impression towards her.
If she can take advantage of his feelings…
It has to be said that Ye Zhi Hua indeed was somewhat clever with her petty tricks. The reborn her understood very well how to fully utilise her own natural resources and position.
Unfortunately, right now, she used it at the wrong time.
Hearing what Ye Zhi Hua said, Physician Si’s eyes went cold, his face had a solemn expression: “Wangfei does not want Junzhu to suffer. Truly kind-hearted but,….even ants want to live. Junzhu may be living in pain but isn’t living in pain better than to be dead? I am a medical practitioner who has always only known how to cure illnesses and never to give up on any patient.”
Hearing Physician Si’s words, Ye Zhi Hua was dumbfounded. She shifted her slightly awkward gaze: “Imperial Physician Si’s words are reasonable. I was just too….just too distressed for the Junzhu. Nothing more.”
The more she acted as if she was genuinely concerned, the more Physician Si’s gaze turned ice cold.
What is kind-heartedness?
And what is maliciousness?
Physician Si thought of the words Su Wan spoke that day. She never hid her bitter thoughts in her heart. Even if she had vicious thoughts, she has always spoken without reservation.
People are not sages. Who didn’t have selfish thoughts and desires?
In fact, Physician Si also had unspeakable selfish thoughts. It’s just that he covered up those thoughts very well. No one has discovered it, nothing more…..
