Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
ChaYe Qingxuan opened his eyes.
It was afternoon. The warm sun shone through the opened windows upon his body.
He felt the fatigue for the first time in a long time, but it felt so good. There was no pressure, or any unbearable pain either. There was just a peace and comfort in his heart.
“You’re awake?” The father who was reading at the table raised his head and said coldly, “I couldn’t expect you to recover that quickly since you came back half dead last night.”
“My father had said before that cheap life was easy to support,” Ye Qingxuan laughed, struggling to sit up. “God was probably not willing to accept a liar like me.”
“Do not speculate about God.” The priest did not continue arguing with him, only giving him a warning, then went back to his reading.
The afternoon sunshine on Ye Qingxuan’s body felt warm and soft, making his pale face feel much better, almost soothing him back to sleep again.
After a long time, he heard Father Bann’s unexpected voice, “Did you have a nightmare?”
“No.” Ye Qingxuan thought for a moment, but could not help laughing, “I haven’t had such a good dream for a long time.”
“It doesn’t sound like a lie. It looked like you were recovering well.” The priest nodded and suddenly said, “Go and see Victor. He is in his original room.”
“What’s up with him?”
“He has been hiding in his room since he came back last night, and didn’t want to talk to anyone. He felt guilty regarding you. You should talk to him.” The priest paused and said, “You both are fools, so you should be able to understand one another.”
－
Since geniuses had a mutual understanding amongst themselves, there should be a common language between fools too.
The priest’s words were right–the world was always grouped together. The wealthy drank with the wealthy in their mansions, while the homeless hugged each other in the snow. The lonely people shared loneliness with each other, while the people in pain licked each other’s wounds.
Victor said that Ye Qingxuan was his only friend, as Ye Qingxuan was Victor’s only friend.
One was holding onto the dream of becoming the musician and never letting go. The other one imagined becoming a big shot and seeking revenge against the aristocracy for killing his family members.
The guy who was already a street boy always believed that he would become a bigger one, so he was ready at all times to challenge authority or whatever else.
Treating others as he wanted to be treated, he felt Ye Qingxuan was his only friend. This way no one could call him cheap–even his Majesty would not be allowed to do that!
The entire time he felt that he would have a great future, and there was nothing in this world that could stop him. He was naive and stubborn.
But when Ye Qingxuan saw Victor so anxious and sad, unkempt and curled up in the corner, he did not look like the big man he wanted to be.
When Ye Qingxuan sat next to him, Victor looked at him for a long time before he finally recognized him.
“Oh, Yezi, are you awake?” Victor asked, trying to smile.
Ye Qingxuan looked at his messy bed, shaking his head, “You didn’t sleep?”
“I couldn’t fall asleep feeling like someone was looking at me. There was the feeling of murder in this room. Yezi…”
Victor looked at the empty corner, as if he could see the invisible evil spirits. His green eyes were vicious, hunting for the enemy, ready to kill.
“Is he looking at me?”
“He is dead, Victor.” Ye Qingxuan whispered, “He will not appear outside the window.” Everyone only lives once. Once someone is dead, he is really dead.”
“He died?” Victor looked back at him. The viciousness in his eyes gradually faded, like finally relaxing a whole night of confrontation. He whispered, “Is he really dead?”
Ye Qingxuan nodded slowly.
“So it is,” Victor said.
Victor suddenly realized that all his hardships were gone. He leaned against the wall and softly laughed, “Yes, I killed him, I had forgotten. As I said before, you don’t know how to fight, so every time you have to rely on me. When Old Phil was looking for me, I knew that it was not good. So I did pretty good, right?” He smiled, but the fear beneath his smile was not completely concealed–it was a fear that could never be rid of.
“Yes, you did very well.” Ye Qingxuan nodded.
“Of course. I’m a bad spawn, and not even murder could stop me.” He whispered, “I am a big man and will be successful, right?”
Ye Qingxuan kept silent, patting Victor’s shoulder.
Victor looked at him, smiling as he teared up, both embarrassed and sad. Like a little bully who had just gotten beaten up, his tears were cheap.
“But at that time, why did I not stand out? I was supposed to be the bait. I should’ve been who went, but I was afraid. Yezi, you are not afraid?”
“You’ve suddenly asked me this question, but I can’t answer now.” Ye Qingxuan scratched his head and grasped Victor’s shoulders, “You do not have to be sad because of what happened. I was not as brave as you think.”
“Yezi, are you trying to comfort me?” Victor gazed at him, “I do not need comforting.”
He did not finish his words because he saw no sympathy nor the slightest mercy in the white-haired teen’s eyes.
“No one can always say beautiful words, Victor. Those beautiful things are just for camouflage.” Ye Qingxuan whispered, “I am more afraid than you are, but I have been used to it.
“When I was very young, I knew that if I died, no one would remember me. So I had to work hard to live, but with more effort to live, the more I feared death.
“It’s much easier to die than live.
Five years ago after I wandered here, the priest adopted me. I thought I could live. I thought that by living, I could do anything. I could act like a good boy, studying hard to learn to spell. But the most important reason in my heart was not to repay them or help other people–It was for myself. ”
Ye Qingxuan paused and started laughing, but it was self-deprecating. “This includes the time I stood up and asked Mr. Wolf Flute to let me replace you, so that he would owe me, and help me become a musician to go back to Avalon. It was that simple. Sometimes I think about the kind of person I am and feel very ashamed. Victor, I have done so much. Maybe part of it was to help other people, but ultimately, it was for myself.”
He stroked the ring on his finger. “Maybe I was such a person, but because I had nothing, I wanted more. If I really wanted something, I would not care about my life. I would rush to any opportunity, feeling like a dog yearning for food. Sometimes I felt that being a dog was not a bad thing. As long as that allowed me to get the things I wanted, I could do anything…anything ”
Yezi evaluated himself quietly, as if he had cleaned the dusty mirror that he had looked at before, now able to see his true reflection. His tone was complex and solemn. Saying those words was like betting against fate everything he had in his life.
“Victor, I want to be a musician.”
In the long silence, Victor stared at him as if this were the first time he was seeing him.
After pausing for a moment, he suddenly softly laughed, “So you are really evil, Yezi.”
“Did you really say that?” Ye Qingxuan was stunned for a moment. Suddenly, he became angry and kicked Victor in his side, “I have said so much, and tried to comfort you!”
Victor was being tossed around on the floor by Ye Qingxuan’s kicks, but could not help laughing, as if he was laughing at Yezi.
“Go away. I will pretend that my kindness was eaten by Old Phil,” Ye Qingxuan snappily kicked the door and left, but Victor was still laughing.
After a while, the awakened Old Phil ran into the door, looking for something to eat. But he only saw Victor was still laughing so hard almost could not breathe.
The kind of laughter was embarrassing and sounded like it came from a petty man, but Victor still felt that he was a big man.
－
Downstairs, the priest looked up in silence, and after a long time nodded. “It’s all right now.”
“Really simple.” Wolf Flute sighed, “Should it be said that it was easier to communicate between the kids?”
“No, it’s a fool who only believes in silly words.”
－
It was midnight. The black moon hung high, while the wind howled.
In the backyard of the church, the two figures walked out of the room carrying shovels and walked through the streets. One of them was tall and thin without facial expressions. The other’s footsteps were staggered, like he had just been injured recently.
They walked all the way through the town quietly, and finally stopped at the iron fence in front of the cemetery.
The tall and thin priest took a rusty copper key off of his neck and unlocked the huge iron lock. The iron gate was pushed open with a sharp sound as it had not been opened for a long time.
“Do you really want to hide the stuff in the cemetery?” Wolf Flute held the shovel and whispered, “Will it become rotten from the moisture and the corpses?”
“The last priest told me that the thing was well preserved and should not be broken,” the priest said.
“Hey, we entrusted such important things to the custody of the church. You should at least confirm!”
“First, that thing was handed over to the cleric to seal. You did not say which day you would get it back. Second, if every priest chose to look at the thing, then there would be no secret.”
“Why don’t I think you’re right?” Father Bann looked back at him again, like looking at an idiot’s eyes.
In the dark, Father Bann carried the light, leading the way ahead. They walked on the soft, wet soil, passing by the tombstones. Wolf Flute was injured, not able to walk fast, so he still had the privilege of reading the epitaph of each tombstone.
“Oh, what a miserable story. This person was killed because he discovered his wife’s affair! Wait! His wife is here. Why is the adulterer here? Plus his two dogs. What is that? Father, I could make up a story with hundreds of thousands of words.”
“Nonsense.” The priest wrote him off, “Come on, we’re almost there.”
In the end, they stopped in front of a very old tombstone. Behind the pale tombstone, the cross had been broken, and the writings had been faded over time by the wind and rain.
The priest looked down at the writing, and used the shovel to get rid of weeds in front of the grave and nodded. “It’s here. You can start digging.”
Wolf Flute tentatively started digging, feeling the dull pain from his wound. Without any resistance from the mud, it made him feel at ease.
But the muddy soil was obviously cold, and also had gravel on the top.
It seemed like an invisible ghost was staring at them in the dark, watching them dig the graves. It seemed to envelop them with cold air. The ghost waited to be dug out, and then let the people lie in the tomb.
“Whose tomb is this?” Wolf Flute trembled a little bit. “I always feel like we will dig up wraiths.”
