But now, here was a person who was saying she had been freed by it. She could say she was happier than she had been in the past, despite the cruel reality. She was probably going to never know what a great relief that answer was giving him.
“Arman,” she whispered as she gently wiped his tears. “I know it must be hard for you, but just stay here and help people, and then one day, you will surely feel happiness.”
When Lefena told him all the god wanted him to do was to live a life full of love, he thought the god was mocking him.
“Do I deserve to be happy?”
“Of course.”
However, when Rubica said it, he wanted to believe it. He didn’t believe in any god, but she was like a goddess to him.
After that, she came to him often and they talked about many things. As they were way past their youth, people just thought they were close friends.
“If you want to go back to the past, what would you do?”
“Go back to the past? But I am enjoying my life now.”
“But if you get a chance…”
“I would like to escape Berner Mansion on my own.”
They had countless conversations like that. However, things didn’t go well for them. The fires of war didn’t reach the abbey, so everyone there didn’t know how bad it was, but the situation in the north became only worse and worse.
Edgar got information from the wounded who came in every day. Just as he had thought, Ios was strong. At first, he was severely wounded by Stella, but the tide of war started to turn with time.
Ios had a cunning goblin by his side, and he was the problem. Edgar could see Amanun and the other countries that had Stella were getting more and more nervous with time.
Rumors were that things were changing even at Iber’s territory, the dragon who had been slumbering for centuries. Someone, who came after being hurt badly for going in there to steal mana stones, told him Iber’s underlings were using shining stones to wake up their mistresses.
‘This place will not be safe for long.’
It wasn’t easy to leave the abbey and find another safe place. He wanted to take Rubica, if only he could. He already couldn’t even imagine a life without her.
“Arman.”
However, death came to them before his preparation was ready.
“Don’t… don’t say more.”
“No, there’s no hope for me.”
“Rubica, no.”
She was dying. He was ready to embrace his own death at any moment, but not hers. She was breathing her last breath, and Edgar finally realized his feelings for her.
“Rubica, I… I…”
Too late, he tried to say it, but he couldn’t. Did he deserve it? Did he deserve to love and be loved? He, who had lived a life full of hatred?
He quickly put his blue ring on her chest. Would the ring’s power work on her? He didn’t know, but he had to try at least.
“Rubica Berner, now you will go back in time. When you do, go and find Duke Claymore. Find him, and… if this ring travels back in time with you, show it to him. Then, tell him to not make Stella.”
Rubica’s breathing started to get weaker. Maybe she hadn’t heard any of his words. He fumbled with her face and whispered, “Have you heard what I said?”
However, he knew she had bleed too much and didn’t have enough energy to say a word. Instead, he could feel her lips curling up slightly, just slightly. He took it as a sign for hearing what he said.
“Tell him you know he can’t walk in the daytime because of his curse, and he will at least listen to you.”
The sound of the bombing numbed his ears, but what was happening around them didn’t matter to him. He just traced her smile with his fingers.
“There’s something I haven’t been able to tell you. Actually, I…”
What was he supposed to say first? There were so many things he hadn’t been able to tell her. Who he really was, and his feelings for her that had grown so much.
But before he could speak a word, he could feel her skin losing warmth. He quickly put a finger under her nose, but she wasn’t breathing.
“Rubica? Rubica!”
He pleadingly called out her name, but it was no good. She was dead. The person who had taught various joys and pleasures had passed away.
He had braced himself for it, but now that he was really left alone, he didn’t dare to admit the sad reality.
“Rubica.”
He just kept saying her name, again and again, completely forgetting what he had been trying to say. He too had to leave the spot and run away to survive.
But what would happen to her if he left her in that ruthless place? Her body would be shattered to pieced when a bomb fell on her.
She was already a cold corpse, but he couldn’t leave her. Whether she was breathing or not, he had to keep her safe.
“Ah!”
In the end, a massive force hit him. He could smell gun powder and blood. His back was soaked with blood.
Now death was trying to take his life away as well, but Edgar gladly embraced it. Surviving the bombing would have only devastated him.
Dying with the woman he loved in his arms was going to be a happy death.
“Rubica.”
He touched her lips for the last time. She died with a smile. Even in the chaotic world, she had kept her smile and found little joys to teach him.
He didn’t know how he found the courage, but he leaned down to kiss her lips.
He didn’t dare to do it while she was alive. He had imagined kissing her lips often, although the fact that he had such a desire left in him quite surprised him.
‘Cold.’
She had high body temperature and her hands had been warm even in the cold winter. However, when his lips finally touched hers, it had no warm. Life had left them long ago.
Only then, he realized she was really dead. He burst into tears. After he met her, he had been genuinely expressing his emotions and crying like a child in front of her. However, he had never shed such tears of regrets.
He found her death much sadder than his own. He had guessed they would meet such an ending one day, but now that it was really here, it was hard to take it in.
The ring he had put on her chest was his real hope. He wished it would turn back time and give a new life to her.
‘I know I’m a fool, but if you tell me everything that has happened, he will not decide to make Stella so easily.’
In the past, he had been an arrogant man who always had his way, but thanks to the education he received, at least he tried to listen once and judge everything by logic.
As Rubica was a straight person who had the power of moving people’s hearts, he believed she would be able to convince him, even if it took some time.
‘And after that…’
He wished she would get to live doing what she wanted to do. She had been content with the life that was given to her and always let children who had been born in war get more chances, but it didn’t mean she had no regrets.
She breathed a little faster when she saw beautiful flowers. When they looked back into the days when they had had enough supplies and talked about beautiful dresses, her voice went up.
He had made the decision without time to think when she was about to die, but why had he chosen to send her back in time instead of going himself?
Actually, he would be much easier if he went. He wouldn’t have to explain to anyone to stop the development of Stella. He would even be able to find her and save her from her aunt and uncle.
But then, what about her?
Rubica had often said in the past, she had been lost in self-pity instead of seeing the other aspects of life. Would he be able to save her from that if he went back in time?
More than anything, he wanted to respect every life she had been through. He didn’t want the people she had met, the places she had been, the experiences and knowledge she had gotten by working at the abbey to disappear like smoke.
Compared to that, his own memories… he only had memories he wanted to forget. Only horrible pain, despair, and misery. He would be better off without such memories.
