“No, it’s just that I was worried about you suddenly apologizing and trying to walk at my speed. I thought you might be sick. You know, people say…”
“You do things you never did when it’s time for you to die?”
Edgar asked, clearly hurt.
“But you just talked about Lord Sesar like your usual self, and it relieved me.”
“You’re relieved?”
“Yes, I was slightly worried just a moment ago, but now it’s better.”
Rubica really smiled comfortably, but Edgar’s mind was in a mess.
‘You said you liked Arman because he was kind to you!’
That was why he tried to do that as well. He tried to be kind and respect her, and he thought he would surely win the game if he was nice only to her.
However, what he got in return was Rubica worrying if he was sick or if she had done something wrong.
What was he supposed to do now? Edgar felt like he was facing a giant wall. Was there even a way to win against that Arman at all?
“But Edgar, bad things can happen unexpectedly, so I hope you don’t do nothing thinking Lord Sesar will take care of himself.”
“Of course, he wouldn’t take care of himself. He even forgot to bring a knight and went alone. So, of course, I should send people to look for him.”
Rubica looked up at him. She hesitated for a moment and then grabbed his sleeve.
“I’m sorry. He did that only because of me. I should have…”
“Don’t apologize.”
Edgar shook off her hand, leaving it awkwardly hanging in the air.
“You’ve done nothing to apologize for.”
Rubica clenched her hand. Now was the moment when he was supposed to hold her hand and say she had nothing to worry about, but he shook her hand off and firmly announced she did nothing wrong. He seemed quite mad.
She had to try hard to not laugh again. It looked like her duke had trouble dealing with people, unlike what most thought of him. Even if he was much taller and beautiful than her, she thought the man with the fierce eyes was quite pure.
“Thank you, then.”
She was much better at dealing with people. She accepted what he said and thanked, but he took a step back in surprise. Rubica really wanted to laugh at that, but then this pure duke would run away like a deer.
‘I thought he would be great at handling women as there are so many craving for him…’
But now, his cheeks were red, and he couldn’t even look straight at her. Looking at him made her heart beat fast since she couldn’t believe such a great man was behaving like a little boy in front of her. She found it cute and wanted to kiss his blushing cheek.
‘Oh, wake up.’
She scolded herself before she could carry it out.
What is wrong with me?
She was been having quite different feelings toward him lately. Like a land that was ready to bloom when spring came after the cold winter, her heart fluttered each time she saw him.
Why was she doing that? What was that feeling?
Rubica realized she had been staring at Edgar’s red lips and quickly looked down. What if he asked for a hug or a kiss in return again? She was surprised by the question raised in her mind. What confused her even more was that she didn’t feel like refusing at all.
“I’m the one who should thank you.”
“Huh?”
However, Edgar said something she didn’t expect. Sometimes it was hard for her to understand what he was saying.
“Now I found a way to use the adventurers.”
“Oh, you’re going to send them to find Lord Sesar? But it would take only a few days.”
“What was Sesar looking for?”
“Wild roses.”
Rubica could now see what Edgar was saying. He was planning to use the adventurers to find Sesar and gather the items for his experiment. They would be much better at it than Sesar who was always easily distracted.
“But I think it has escalated too much…”
“It won’t be a trouble to Claymore, so don’t worry.”
Edgar assured her.
“If you hadn’t decided to invest in his rose inventing business, I would still be worrying over what to do with the adventurers I’ve already hired. Thanks to you now I have one less trouble.”
Edgar was saying everything Rubica had done had been right, so she looked at him.
“… but all of those worries started because of me.”
Her voice shook. She had been very moved by him lately, but he then just smiled and opened his arms. No words were needed. She put her arms around his neck and leaned against his chest as if it was only natural.
Soon he hugged her hard with his strong arms, and she could feel his heartbeat. She was confused, but she wished the moment would last forever.
‘No.’
She was about to fall asleep in his arms again. Every time she inhaled, his deep scent invaded her. She felt like she was lying on the grass on a sunny day. She wanted to fall asleep like that and never wake up…
When it came to love, she was quite a late bloomer. She hadn’t been interested much about it, but even she knew about that magic.
‘It’s like I…’
Like him. However, that’s not supposed to happen. No. I cannot do this.
‘Arman.’
Rubica tried to think of Arman in Edgar’s arms. Her sad and pitiful love. The man who thought of her even in the last moment and had come to save her during the bombing. Her love that had come too late. The love that whispered to her to not give up and live on.
However, no matter how hard she tried to remember Arman’s face, Edgar’s scent, his heartbeat, his strong arms that held her, all of that distracted her.
“Rubica.”
She looked up at the kind voice calling her name. Her body had been frozen only a moment ago, but she could magically move again when he called her.
“Oh.”
His fingers wiped her tears. That gentle gesture let her know she had been crying again.
“It’s not because you are happy this time, right?”
Edgar carefully whispered, and Rubica couldn’t deny it. She nodded.
“Let me know if I’ve done anything wrong.”
Anything wrong? But what did he do?
Being kind to her. Enchanting her with his beautiful face. Listening to her story and emphasizing with her. Asking in detail about the person she wanted to find but didn’t know how to and offering to find him for her. Caring about what she liked and what she didn’t like.
‘… it would have been better if you kept being so rude and arrogant.’
Then she wouldn’t be so confused like this. He had done nothing wrong. They had gotten married because they had had no other choice, but he had been caring about her and trying to do his best to fulfill his duties. How could she accuse him?
She was the one who had wronged him.
She had been shaken by his actions when she had someone else in her heart. She was drunken in his kindness and wanted to depend on him. She was in the wrong.
How could she have two men in her heart?
How could she abandon the true love that had come to her at the end of her life only for mere kindness?
“Um, Edgar…”
“Yes?”
“Please don’t be too kind to me.”
Her voice was shaking now, and so were her eyes. Edgar could read hesitation and fear in them, but his heart fluttered. He wanted to kiss her lips right away.
“Promise me.”
She believed he would nod since that was what he always did. He sometimes spoke harshly but, in the end, he always did what she wanted. However, this time, he shook his head.
“No.”
He could grant any other request she made, but not that. It was just impossible. Not being kind to her? There was no way he could do that. His heart would be torn to pieces before that.
“But, but…”
Rubica couldn’t say more. She just cried while Edgar hugged her tightly again.
“Just stop thinking.”
She was shaken. He could feel it. She was finally shaken by him, by what he had done for her, by his kindness. He thought there would be no way to win her love only a moment ago, but did she know how thrilling that was?
“Just, just stay this way.”
Of course, he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to let her know he deserved her more than the man who wasn’t able to confess his love with a long, passionate kiss.
However, he didn’t.
She wasn’t just shaken by him. She was also feeling guilty even if she and Arman had not shared any love. None of them had ever confessed their love. Still, she felt like she was sinning.
All those virtues and educations she had learned until now pressed on her.
The pure and clean love for only one person.
Of course, Edgar also knew that was a virtue to be kept. He knew how noble and sacred that was. That was why he wasn’t forcing her to love him. Winning her heart that way would be useless. It would only be damaged beyond repair by then.
