(Disclaimer: Do not eat, or drink anything when you read this chapter. If you haven't eaten or drank anything yet. It will be best if you eat and drink first. You already saw the name of the item in the previous chapter. If you are uncomfortable reading anything related to that, feel free to skip this chapter.
Although I don't want to post any spoilers, this item will play an important part in the story in the later chapters, so I apologize for the cringe beforehand. This is what happens when you have a flu and write things with limited brain capacity. Kekeke.)
After reading the information of the "Divine" item that he just recently got from the Shop of Babylon, William closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose.
'I might be a bit tired due to the things I've been doing for the past few days,' WIlliam thought. 'I'm just seeing things.'
A minute later, William summoned the Chamberpot of Serenity and held it firmly. He then read its information with a mind overflowing with positivity. He believed that the Divine Artifact was just named that way in order to prank those who would accidentally own it.
As a Divine Artifact, it couldn't possibly be bad, right?
—–
< Chamberpot of Serenity >
Rarity: Divine
– Ender of Misery
"When you see it, you'll sh*t bricks"
– When the Gods created the world, they realized that they overlooked one very important factor, and that was… sh*t.
– Every living thing that they created in the world is duty bound to take a dump. The Gods thought that this isn't a big deal, until the humans, and other races that they created, started to pollute the land and water with their sh*t.
– There is sh*t here, sh*t there, sh*t everywhere. It was truly a disgusting sight to behold. The Gods endured because they believed that Humanity's evolution would allow them to become more intelligent and pull their sh*t together.
All of this changed when their believers started to use their altars to take a dump, which horrified and disgusted the Gods to an unbelievable degree. Because of this, they tasked the God of Crafts to solve this issue and thus, the Chamberpot of Serenity was born.
– The Gods' first gift to humankind was fire. Their next gift was a chamberpot. However, this event was not written in the history books because mankind found it quite embarrassing to add this episode to their written record of their path to evolution.
– This Artifact could store unlimited amount of sh*t.
– This Artifact is indestructible.
– This Artifact comes with a handle. This is very important when it comes to Chamber Pots.
– This Artifact has a special passcode for its activation. The Passcode is "Eat Sh*t Motherf*cker!"
– This Artifact has an automatic cleaning spell embedded in it. Its exterior surface is always clean. It is very hygienic!
– P.S
As a special promotion, the Babylon Shop decided to put 1 Quadrillion Tons of sh*t in this artifact as a freebie to its new owner. Don't worry! It's high quality sh*t and it's free! You don't need to thank us. Our customer's satisfaction is our satisfaction.
Thank you for using Babylon Gacha!
May you have a not-so-sh*tty day!
—-
"What in the flying f*ck is this sh*t?!" William roared in anger as he slammed the chamberpot on the ground, creating a small crater. Since the pot was indestructible, it didn't even have a dent even though William's current strength was enough to smash a boulder with a punch.
His outburst alarmed Chiffon, Elliot, Connan, B1, B2, and Bacon who were minding their own business by his side.
"B-Big Brother?" Chiffon held Bacon in her arms and was looking at William with an anxious gaze.
William had completely forgotten that he wasn't alone and immediately restrained the anger that was bubbling inside his chest.
"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" William asked, awkwardly.
Chiffon shook her head. "Not scared. I was just surprised. Did something bad happen, Big Brother?"
"Yes," William replied with a sigh. "I got scammed by the Tower."
William glanced at the chamberpot on the ground and felt like crying. He spent Four Million Tokens just to get a random Divine Item and he got the short end of the stick.
Elliot flew towards the chamberpot and landed on its handle. Suddenly, his body shuddered as he received another vision from the future.
"Oh my goodness! What a nasty vision!" Elliot covered his mouth in disgust. The passive ability of his Clairvoyance had shown him a scene that was not far in the future and it was truly a spectacle to behold.
William noticed Elliot's expression and immediately held the Familiar who was looking back at him with disbelief.
"What did you see?" William asked. Since he could see the stats and abilities of his familiars, it was very easy for him to guess that Elliot had seen a vision concerning the chamberpot.
"One moment," Elliot replied as he raised his right hand, while his left hand covered his lips.
A few minutes later, Elliot finally calmed down and looked at William with a complicated expression.
"Um, this chamberport will save your life in the future," Elliot said carefully. "For now, Just store it in your storage ring."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Trust me on this one, Will."
While the two were discussing, Chiffon and her entourage moved towards the chamberpot to take a closer look.
B1 and B2 poked it with their foot and chuckled.
"What a sh*tty item," B1 said.
"Indeed." B2 commented. "Chiffon, don't get too close. This thing is dangerous."
"Oink." Bacon agreed.
Seeing that her three companions were telling her not to come closer, Chiffon decided to heed their advice and simply eyed the chamberpot from a distance.
William's body uncontrollably shuddered when he saw B1 and B2 playing with the chamberpot. Among everyone in the scene, the two dumb birds had the highest possibility of triggering the secret passcode of the Divine Artifact that could lead to unimaginable consequences.
Without waiting for the worst case scenario to happen, William immediately summoned the Chamber Pot to his hands and hurriedly stored it inside his storage ring.
Elliot stared at William in a meaningful manner because the two visions he had received earlier were connected to each other. After giving it some thought, the Angelic Familiar devised a scheme in his head and smirked.
Conan looked at his twin with curiosity. Although he didn't know what Elliot was thinking, he had a hundred percent certainty that he was up to no good!
