Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
As Liu Ying had said, her hometown was a coastal fishing village located south of Binhai City.
When she was young, her parents were busy all day long, either fishing in the sea or selling fish. Her family was doing well economically, but at the cost that she barely saw her parents. She was brought up by her grandmother, which made her shy and introverted. After attending college and joining the workforce, she made a continuous effort to make herself more extroverted, as her work demanded.
Her grandmother had weak legs and didn’t feel safe letting her play outside with other kids. Back then, human trafficking in the neighboring village was a big deal. Rumors said that human traffickers from other places had already arrived and kidnapped a few kids in the neighboring village. As the stories circulated, nobody could find out whether or not they were true. But her grandmother believed them. She kept her at home and didn’t allow her to go outside.
Little Liu Ying felt that her grandmother favored boys over girls in some way. Maybe if she were a boy her grandmother would have brought her outside to play, even if she had weak legs.
There was nothing to play with at home. There was no cable for the television, and they could only receive a limited few channels with a deciphered satellite receiver. There were foreign channels, but the signal was bad. They often received nothing but static noise.
Liu Ying was bored at home. She was always clinging to her grandmother, asking her to tell her stories and play with her.
Her grandmother might have been annoyed by that. It interrupted her house work. Moreover, her grandmother was heavily addicted to Mahjong and had to play with other older women in the village each afternoon, rain or shine. One day, her grandmother brought back a few small fish for her and asked her to keep them as pets. Then she locked the yard door and headed to the Mahjong table, worrying that she might lose her spot if she arrived late.
The so-called small fish were, in fact, Crucian carps and loaches. Her grandmother might have caught them in the river by the village.
Back then, it was easy to catch fish from the river. All one had to do was roll some netting into a pocket shape, put some rice or bread crumbs inside, and sink it into the river. After a few minutes, some dumb Crucian carps would get into the net.
Later on, the method was no longer feasible. As the industrial pollution worsened near the village, fish were barely caught in the river.
Catching fish in the river had always been the monopoly of boys in the village. After getting the small fish, Liu Ying was very happy. She had new buddies, which made the afternoons less lonely when her grandmother was not home.
There was a small empty vat in the yard. Little Liu Ying filled it with water and kept the Crucian carps and loaches inside.
Crucian Carps and loaches were very tough. As long as you didn’t try too hard, it was hard to kill them. A few rice grains and bread crumbs every few days were enough to keep them alive.
“Now when I look back, I was not treating them as pets at all. They were just tools to make me less lonely. I’ve done horrible things to them out of boredom…” Liu Ying said with regret.
There were fish hooks sold for 20 cents each in the small convenience store of the village. She made an excuse that she was craving popsicles and asked for some money from her grandmother to buy a fish hook. She then tied the hook to an end of a cotton thread from the sewing machine and hooked a rice grain at the tip. She started fishing, mimicking the others.
It was easy to hook Crucian carps and loaches. They fought over the rice grains as if they were starving. Soon, a Crucian carp took a bite.
Little Liu Ying lifted the cotton thread excitedly, but the Crucian carp struggled fiercely––much harder than she had thought. It broke the cotton thread and fell on the yellow dirt.
As it flopped, it was covered with dirt, like a fish coated with flour before going to the frying pan.
She panicked and tried to pick up the Crucian carp and put it back into the vat, but the scales were slippery, and the dying fish was fighting hard. She couldn’t grab the fish firmly. Instead, the hook pierced into her finger. It was quite deep. Crimson blood gushed out immediately.
She cried hard in pain. As she loosened her hands, the Crucian carp fell back to the ground, and stopped moving after a few more flops.
There was nobody else home. After she cried for ten minutes, nobody came to comfort her.
The Crucian carp was already very dead on the floor. Her finger also stopped bleeding.
She stopped sobbing slowly.
She lied about buying popsicles and bought the fish hook with the money. Therefore, she dared not tell her parents and grandmother what happened. They might punish her for being naughty. She hid everything in secret, claiming that a fish had died.
Yet, the truth was not that simple.
After a few days, she suddenly had headaches, dizziness, and a fever. Her parents thought she had caught a cold, but the medicine didn’t work. She got worse and worse, and even started convulsing.
Her parents rushed her to the hospital in town overnight. The doctor said she had tetanus. If she was sent in half a day later, her life would have been in danger. The doctor also asked if she had been injured lately.
After being questioned by her parents, she finally told them in tears that her finger was pierced by a fish hook.
If she had not been very sick then, her parents would have surely beat the crap out of her.
Later, she recovered. After returning home from the hospital, she found out that the vat was empty. Both the fish and the water were gone.
She didn’t dare to ask her parents, as they were already mad at her and had spent a lot of money on her illness.
To her surprise, after the event, her grandmother seemed remorseful towards her, thinking that her carelessness had caused her to be very sick. A few days after she was released from the hospital, her grandmother bought her a fish tank from the temple fair. It was a real fish tank, about 40cm long, and crystal clear. There was even an aquascaping mini house inside.
Ever since then, her grandmother had stopped playing Mahjong and had gotten rid of years of Mahjong addiction just like that. Although the old Mahjong buddies often tempted her, she turned them all down, even when they were only short one player.
“Ying Ying, shall we keep pet fish together?” her grandmother had asked her with a smile, rubbing her head. Countless deep wrinkles bloomed on her face.
Little Liu Ying was overwhelmed at her grandmother’s sudden attitude change. She nodded, at a loss.
For some after she was released from the hospital, she was afraid of any sharp objects. Her grandmother prepared everything for the fish.
Her grandmother carried the bucket to the beach to get saltwater, then pushed a wheelbarrow to get the sand. She picked up some rocks and put them in the tank. A simple aquarium tank slowly took shape.
Her grandmother didn’t just buy a tank; she also bought an oxygen pump and a pair of clownfish.
Compared to the grey Crucian carps and loaches, clownfish were much prettier; they were almost like swans against ugly little ducklings. Little Liu Ying was thrilled.
She started raising fish with her grandmother, pondering each day what the clownfish were eating. Each day, she supported her chin with her arms next to the fish tank, admiring the graceful swimming dance of the clownfish.
Those were the happiest days of Liu Ying. For the first time, she felt so close to her grandmother. She was no longer the rude grandmother that forbade her from playing, like she was in the past.
However, trouble came, anyway. The clownfish eventually got sick and were covered in a white film all over their bodies.
Her grandmother and her could not do anything about it.
