Chapter 53: Damn Single
Translator: Nyoi_Bo_Studio Editor: Nyoi_Bo_Studio
After she had embarrassed Boss Afei on the spot, Fina went back to the shop. She found the highest cat tree, jumped up onto it, and surveyed the entire shop condescendingly.
Zhang Zian felt two eyes towering over and staring at him. He secretly cursed in his heart, how this pretentious, gold worshipping cat was too hard to serve, knowing that Fina wasn’t really satisfied with the statement of “transfer of master identity.” But, he couldn’t afford to provoke her, so he could only correct her immediately: “No, actually, this isn’t a transfer of master identity, but it’s saying how you are the next hokage…no, it’s the next cat slave, the one who will be in charge of the future great cause of shoveling feces!” Hearing this new rhetoric, Fina narrowed her eyes. It seemed as if she had approved.
The crowd and the audience in the live broadcast room were all overjoyed. They thought that this was Zhang Zian’s whimsical rhetoric, and made some ridiculing remarks and didn’t care.
.
Zhang Zian said to Outman and Fried Mushroom, “So which one of you will take over the great cause of shoveling feces? The identity of a cat slave can only be inherited to one person, and only one person can command your cats to do stunts.”
As expected, Outman couldn’t wait and exclaimed, “Give it to me!”
Fried Mushroom nodded, “Give it to her.”
Zhang Zian secretly had sympathy for this obedient young man. In the future, his status would always be at the bottom of the pyramid. The order from highest to lowest would be her, and then him; the tables would never ever turn. Zhang Zian was determined that he would train his girlfriend to be very obedient and submissive, and never fall into this kind of state. Of course, he would have to get a girlfriend first.
After he had transferred his identity to Outman, she clapped her hands to try again. This time, the British Shorthair also obediently walked in a figure eight.
Fried Mushroom and Outman joyfully left with the cat. They began to post videos on their WeChat moments the instant they left the shop.
Great chieftain of Thunder Bluff said, “Shop manager, this dog of yours…”
Zhang Zian’s facial expression changed. Even if I was damn single you still can’t call me that to my face! [1] Wang Qian and Li Kun saw that their master was being humiliated, and they immediately geared up in preparation to get vengeance for him. Even though master was half way into Jin Dan power level, and crushing a mortal human to death was easier than crushing an ant to death, wouldn’t it dirty their master’s hand? In addition, this was a great opportunity to show their loyalty and sincerity!
Great chieftain of Thunder Bluff knew that he had said the wrong thing, and hurriedly corrected, “No, I’m saying the dogs you have here. Can they do stunts like the cats?”
Jiang Qianxue aimed the camera phone at the Samoya and the Schnauzer, who were in the display cabinets. The audience in the live broadcast room was also looking at it with anticipation.
Zhang Zian coughed dryly and said, “Regretfully, I didn’t train them.”
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff continued to ask, “Why? Isn’t training dogs much easier than training cats?”
Zhang Zian soberly said, “You are right! It’s exactly because training dogs is easier, so I didn’t bother to train them.”
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff displayed a face of great bafflement.
“Training cats is very difficult, so I do the difficult work on behalf of the customers. Training dogs is easier, so I leave that opportunity and pleasure to the customers themselves,” Zhang Zian replied. “Think about it: training pets is the same as teaching your own child how to walk and talk; It’s a great pleasure, which is part of the journey of maturation for your pets. How could I bear to deprive you of it? Even for cats, I’ve only made a start; it’s the same as giving the cats a basic enlightenment. In the end, to what degree they could be trained is completely up to the customers themselves!”
Zhang Zian’s demeanor was fervent. People who didn’t know would think he was about to become the prime minister of China.
He hardened his face and forcefully withstood the spiteful stares of Fina. Everyone suddenly realized that the shop manager was earnest and sincere, and he had indeed expended much care and thought: he thought of what customers needed, and did what anxious customers wanted.
Wang Qian and Li Kun were extremely excited, “This is what they mean by, ‘the teacher opens the door, but the individual has to enter it on his or her own’!”
Zhang Zian heaved a deep sigh, “In order to train these cats, I’ve gone to bed at two in the morning and had to wake up at four in the morning; I’ve dedicated my short life to the cause of endless cat training…After going through arduous training, there are still people who complain that the price is too expensive, even though I just sell them at cost… is that even ethical?”
Men who have their hearts set on business were the cutest, and commanded respect from everyone. Comments of, “Shop manager take care of your body”, “Too touched”, “Don’t overwork yourself” filled the live broadcast room.
Samoya and Schnauzer said, “Exo_me?”
Motherf*cker, this shop manager didn’t even have a rough draft when he acted pretentious! They kept the process of “arduous cat training” in their minds. Zhang Zian was nothing but a shadow in Fina’s steps. The training was done single-handedly by Fina. If they could talk, they would definitely reveal Zhang Zian on the spot. The puppies spun around anxiously in the display cabinets, and they wanted to tell the truth to those deceived idiots. But the crowd mistakenly believed that they also wanted to participate in the training, and they couldn’t help but to smile.
Zhang Zian understood why Fina put on a pretentious face at every moment—this feeling of acting pretentious was so damn satisfying! He was the recipient of someone acting pretentious when he was facing Fina, but this did not deter his acting pretentious in front of others!
Tears were rolling down Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff’s face. “Don’t say anymore! I’ll just buy it!”
Actually, the original intent of the group of five, other than Jiang Qianxue, who came for live broadcasting, was to buy pets. Not many would come to just to kill time.
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff scratched his head and asked, “I don’t understand dogs too much. Which one is better to buy?” Talking about choosing pets, Zhang Zian became serious. This time, it was real seriousness.
“None is better,” he stressed. “It’s only a question of which one is more suitable for you. Don’t worry so much about the characteristics of the dogs, but rather explain your situation and needs, and then I can give you some suggestions.”
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff pondered for a while, and with some embarrassment said, “I’ve just graduated from college… and haven’t found a job yet. I want one that I won’t have to worry about too much; one that’s a bit easier to take care of. Oh yea, I live on the third floor and am renting it together with someone else. Does this make a difference at all?”
Zhang Zian had an unhappy expression, “Those are all alright, but why did you have to hide the most important detail?”
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff was stunned, “What did I hide?”
Zhang Zian pointed with revenge, “You’re damn single.”
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff suffered ten thousand violent attack injuries!
Some of the audience in the live broadcast room suffered AOE injuries!
“How?” he cried. “How do you know?”
Zhang Zian laughed complacently, “Because you haven’t looked at your phone since you entered the shop, so you’re clearly single!”
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff wiped his tears, “But shop manager, you also haven’t looked at your phone once since I entered the shop.
Zhang Zian was speechless.
He pointed at the Pet Encyclopedia. “I was reading, and also I just used my phone for Alipay.”
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff pointed. “Shop manager, why do you have to hide it, you are actually damn single as well, right!”
He stuck out his chest. “Come on. Let’s have at it!”
Great Chieftain of Thunder Bluff thwarted the attack and counterattacked. Zhang Zian suffered ten thousand points in damage!
Zhang Zian also suffered the resulting effect of continuous blood flow!
The audience in the live broadcast room:
“Why does a damn single have to hurt another damn single!”
“Be together, be together!”
Footnotes:
[1] Modern people in China like to refer people who are single as dogs. “Damn single” directly translates to “single dog”.
[2] AOE is a Chinese slang that is often used to describe a person who has trouble differentiating the reality from the anime/manga world.
[3] Hokage is a slang term derived from the anime, Naruto, which means “fire shadow”, or “fire chief”.
