Chapter 49: Why Are You So Awesome
Translator: Nyoi_Bo_Studio Editor: Tennesh
“Hello! Is anyone there?”
Half laying on the deck chair and lazily holding and reading the Pet Encyclopedia, Zhang Zian put down the book and saw five people suddenly flock through the doorway. One of the girls in the lead, practically full of vitality, jumped through the door and said to her phone, “Everyone, please take a look. This is the interior of the Amazing Fate Pet Shop. There are indeed no weird pets!”
Zhang Zian only came to a realization after a moment of staring blankly. “Huh? Was this the legendary anchorperson? But why is the anchorperson coming to my shop?” he thought, but he did not intend to take the initiative to stand up and give his own greetings. His legs were sore from playing hide and seek up and down the stairs with Galaxy and had not yet fully recovered.
Fina opened its squinted eyes, changed its pose from laying to sitting, and majestically ran its eyes over the intruders. Galaxy, who was afraid of people, had already hid by the stairs that went to the second floor.
“Hey, the door handle has a cat bell hanging on it, so cute!” Jiang Qianxue aimed her camera phone at the door handle.
“I want to see how Snowy-Chan looks wearing the cat bell!”
“Snowy, buy a cat bell and wear it!”
“And pair it with cat ears and a cat tail… Just imagining it is already extremely cute! I can’t… I’m going to go wipe my nosebleed.”
“I want to take Snowy home to raise…”
Some of the audience had sharp eyes. “Did you guys not pay attention to the key point? The pets of this shop are actually breeds!”
Jiang Qianxue turned her camera phone toward the shop interior again only to see a few kittens happily chasing, playing, and fighting for fun on the floor, and they would sometimes fall from running. The few kittens cuddled into a ball like a heap of furry balls.
“Such cute little kittens!”
“Cute to death!”
“I really want to reach my hand in and scoop up a few…”
Jiang Qianxue’s little mouth was opened in an “O” shape. “Are the breeds really unusual?”
“Did Snowy not notice that the shop door is completely wide open? Isn’t this shop manager afraid of the pets running away?”
“Oh, right.” Snowy looked at the wide-open door of the shop, then looked at the kittens playing near the door, then looked at the shop manager who was leisurely sitting in the shop and laying on the chair reading a book, and she felt a bit perplexed.
“I’ve seen some high-end, large-scale pet shops that were open to the public overseas, but they were not this open. Their openness was based on different regions; pets could roam freely in a certain region of territory. I’ve really never seen a shop that’s the type to be fully open to the public.”
“Having said this, isn’t the shop manager worried that the cute kittens will run away?”
“Snowy, go ask the shop manager!”
The boisterous kittens also fascinated the couple, Fried Mushroom and Outman.
Boss Afei was standing near the shop entrance, staring at Jiang Qianxue’s legs that were tightly wrapped in her skinny jeans, thinking, “I could play with those legs for a year.”
Jiang Qianxue leapt to Zhang Zian’s side with two or three steps. “Excuse me, are you the shop manager?” she asked, leaning forward.
Zhang Zian moved the Pet Encyclopedia away and nodded. His eyes continued to fall upon the book, as if he had already answered.
“Such a cool shop manager!”
“The shop manager is cosplaying as Geyoutan[1]…”
“Snowy, ask the shop manager, why are you so cool?”
Jiang Qianxue puckered her lips and smiled. She definitely would not ask this.
She pointed at the kittens and asked, “Mr. Shop Manager, are you not afraid that these little kittens will run away?”
“Not afraid,” Zhang Zian answered blankly. “They won’t run away.” His eyes never left the Pet Encyclopedia throughout the conversation.
“Shop manager, who gave you such confidence?”
“Willful if rich!”
Jiang Qianxue asked, “Did you ‘biu~~’ and put magic on them?” She imitated the action of a magic girl.
“Snowy, do that action again one more time! It’s so cute!”
“No, I will lose too much blood and die if I see anymore.”
“…I can’t do magic,” Zhang Zian replied.
“Yes! Western tricks can’t please my eye. Thus behold my advanced animal-taming skills of the ninth heaven!”
Wang Qian and Li Kun suddenly appeared at the entrance door. They had skipped their morning class for their profession and had come to show their sincerity toward their master.
Their manner of walk was majestic; they came to Zhang Zian side by side and bowed their heads in courtesy.
“Master above! Disciple Wang Qian—”
“Disciple Li Kun—”
“Gives respect to master!”
Zhang Zian silently placed his book on his face—he did not want to see them.
“What is this? Filming a movie?”
“Seems like two retards have arrived!”
Jiang Qianxue was also shocked. “How come these two people just kneeled? Father was so rich, yet she had never seen anyone kneel before him. Could it be that this shop manager has an impressive background?”
Wang Qian and Li Kun saw that Zhang Zian wasn’t paying them any attention and firmly believed even more that the master was testing their sincerity. The two stood up, looked around the shop, and angrily said, “Our master wants to be isolated, everyone quickly retreat! Oh!”
Zhang Zian grew angry and threw the Pet Encyclopedia at them. “Should I go feed on the northwest wind[2] if you drive way all the customers?”
“You two, shut up! Go to the side!”
Li Kun rubbed his head and said to Wang Qian, “Solemnly obey master’s instructions!”
“Pick up the book!”
“Yes, master!” Li Kun picked up the Pet Encyclopedia and gave Wang Qian a look that meant, “See, this is definitely the secret to the advanced animal-taming skills. Master had actually thrown the secret at us. It definitely meant that he has the intention to teach us, just as the Bodhi ancestor had knocked Sun Wukong’s head three times…”
Wang Qian’s approval toward Li Kun’s reasoning abilities suddenly increased.
Li Kun bent over and respectfully handed the Pet Encyclopedia to Zhang Zian with both hands, then stood side by side with Wang Qian with an air of complacency.
Zhang Zian was too lazy to acknowledge the two retards. He flipped to the previous page he was reading and continued to read.
The other people in the shop were dumbfounded. The curtain scene of “Why Are You So Cool” swiped over the screen in the live broadcast room.
“This is similar to how the grandfather disciplines the grandson…”
“Nonsense! It’s obviously similar to how the grandson disciplines the grandfather!”
“All right, all right. Your chest is big, you have reason!”
“F*ck! How did you know my chest is thirty-six D?”
“A man with a thirty-six D chest size is not something to be proud of…”
“That… Shop manager, the little kitten, can I pet it?” Fried Mushroom and Outman stared at Zhang Zian eagerly.
“Yes,” Zhang Zian gave a definite reply. “You can pet the little dog over there as well.” He pointed at the Samoyed and Schnauzer in the display cabinets. Facing potential consumers, he still had to endure it even if it meant the counterpart was a hateful pair of couples.
Only then did they notice that over there were two puppies begging for attention; the free frolicking kittens had stolen all the limelight.
“The shop manager is very able, huh. Why are the cats let out, but the puppies are locked up?”
“Maybe the shop manager’s zodiac sign is a dog?”
“It must be because the shop manager is a single dog, they both reprimand each other!”
“Single dogs both reprimand each other… Hahahahahaha… Wooooooh…”
“Started crying with these words…”
“Be good, don’t cry, and stand still!”
“You guys want to make me laugh to death? Snowy, please don’t tell the shop manager! I want to see the shop manager’s cool face a bit more.”
Fried Mushroom and Outman clung to each other, whispering, as if they were discussing if dogs were better or if cats were better.
Boss Afei slowly walked next to the kittens, squatted down to watch for a while, then pointed at the most expensive Persian cat and asked, “Brother, how much are you selling this one for?”
Footnotes:
[1] Ge You (born April 19, 1957) is an acclaimed Chinese actor. A native of Beijing, often with a bald shaven pate, he is considered by many to be one of the most recognizable acting personalities in China. His success with major comedy roles made him a well known name throughout China.
[2] A Chinese phrase that describes when one goes hungry and has nothing to eat, so they could only live on air.
