The orchestra made a pause after the last song ended to give those participating in the dance time to take position before the next song begin. Serena who was led by Artemis to the side saw Charlton approaching.
When he stood before her, he gave her a tight smile. She did not know what he meant by that, but when he bowed and asked, she gently placed her hand on his outstretched one.
She was afraid that her heart would just jump out of her ribcage with the way it was pounding. Inside her stomach, the butterflies were fluttering. And try as she might, she could not stop her lips from tilting upwards.
He led her to the dancefloor to take their position, and she felt people staring. She knew it would have this effect, but she needed him to get the message. She does not see him as some dirty little secret that she wanted to keep in the dark. She loves him, and given the opportunity, she was willing to go out with him in the open.
—
Charlton was in a dilemma. He was torn. He was not surprised with what Serena was doing as she also did it in the past. If he did not love her enough, he would just give in and be with her, to hell with the consequences. However, he did, and he believed that what he was going to say and do was for the best.
When he saw Artemis escorting her to the side, he took it as his cue to approach her. He could only try his best to smile given how badly he knew he would hurt her. He asked for her hand and led her to the dance floor.
He felt that almost all the eyes in the room were on them, they were filled with admiration and idolism, but he knew how quick it would turn to condemnation once they find out that he and Serena were having an affair. He knew he could take it, but what of Serena? He knew how especially cruel their society was to women.
When they took their position, he finally turned to face her. He saw her trying to contain her smile. She was happy, and it made him feel more terrible about what he needed to say. He could only console himself for he knew that she would suffer an even worse fate if he does not.
—
Serena saw the uneasiness in Charlton's eyes, but she did not let it affect her. It was so difficult to catch him where he had nowhere to run. She knew that this was her chance, he had no choice but to face her.
Like the first time they danced, he placed his right hand on her back as she placed her left on his right shoulder. He used his left hand to take her right and hold it up.
The rest of the people especially took position a few paces away from them.
Then, the first note of the song 'can't help falling in love' started playing. Charlton took the lead, and Serena followed. It was an exceptionally beautiful sight, and only when they were 10 seconds to the dance did the others join them.
Serena tried to meet his eyes, but he was looking everywhere but at her.
"Charlton, why won't you look at me?" she asked.
Charlton felt her tugging his heartstrings, so he looked at her. Their eyes met, and he felt his resolve weaken as he saw her give him that smile.
"Why are you doing this Serena?" he asked.
"Isn't it obvious?"
He looked away from her as he knew he can't say the words with her looking at him like that.
"Please don't do something like this again. What will Geoffrey think?"
"What has he got to do with this?"
"Serena, you are engaged to him. He is the crown prince, my cousin, and he loves you."
"I know that, but it is you who I love, and I know you love me too. So why won't you give us another chance?"
Charlton turned back to face her. She was so earnest with her words, her eyes looked at him with love, and he wanted nothing more but to selfishly bask in it. However, he knew that he must not. Not meeting her eyes, he replied.
"I'm sorry… but please do try to understand Serena, us separating is for the best."
Serena wanted to sigh, was it his second male lead syndrome acting up again?
"Why? Don't you think that we are still worth it?"
He wanted to say that for him, she was worth it and more. But Leonard's words still rang true, was he worthy of her? And he knew to himself that the answer was no. He was not worth all the sacrifices, pain, and struggle she will have to undergo in the future. He could not be selfish and pull her down. He should push her away, at least for her sake.
"Serena, please don't do this anymore. These months that we have been apart, I realized that perhaps it is better this way. We have already put our relationship to an end, and let's leave it at that."
"If you really mean those words, then at least look me in the eye when you say them." She said, despite her strong front, it didn't mean that his words did not hurt her.
The song was about to end, and Charlton knew that he must also end this once and for all. So. despite how hard it was, he forced himself to look at her.
"Serena…" he began as he gave her a sad smile. His heart was screaming in protest, but he had to say it to convince her. To convince himself. "I'm sorry, but please, I beg you, let this be the last time. Leave me with some respect as we both know that I can not and should not love you anymore."
Serena felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was poured on her. She felt suffocated in her heart, but she willed herself not to cry. They were still in the middle of the dancefloor and people might still be looking.
Anger, humiliation, shame, disappointment and finally defeat. All those emotions assaulted her one by one. She wanted to deny his words, to persuade him to keep on loving her. But how could she when he has long given up on them? Was everything only in her imagination? Was the thought that he loved her still just her make believe?
She vaguely realized that the song has ended, and one by one people left the dancefloor for the interlude. Charlton let go of her hand after the dance, but he was still standing in front of her.
"I'll send you back to Geoffrey." he said. She was in pain he knew, and so was he. But in the end, it was for the best.
She heard his words, and she blankly nodded. What else was there to say between them?
He did not ask for her hand nor did she offer him hers. They walked side by side, but it was as if there was a wall between them.
So near, yet so far.
—
TBC
