Jayeon put the left side of her headphones on and didn’t put on the other. She wanted to hear the real voices of the two actors acting with their souls.
“I don’t care what you think about me. I will not stand any damage to me no matter what the circumstances, even if it was given to me by someone above me.”
Hyunjin’s eyes contained viciousness. It was an emotion that was transmitted through the screen. Jayeon prayed that no airplanes would fly by, that no onlookers would suddenly intrude, and that Hyunjin’s concentration didn’t waver. Her acting had reached its peak. At this point, what was important was to let her continue without breaking off. If someone interfered with her act, Jayeon would fold the portable chair she was sitting on and smash the person who did.
Hyunjin crossed her arms as though she wanted Bigfoot to talk. It felt as though sparks were coming off her creased forehead. The exaggerated feeling was actually quite good. The pride of a ‘noble’ lady who was raised without any deficiencies must be extraordinary after all.
Hyunjin’s eyes, which could be seen over Maru’s shoulders, looked scary. It was one of those eyes that looked like ‘they were going to gobble up the camera.’ She wanted to bring the producer who said that Hyunjin’s acting was bland right here and show him, and then ask if that still looked ‘bland’ to him.
Maru turned around after staring at Hyunjin for about 4 seconds. His face was caught on camera. The way he looked down at the floor may look like he was admitting his loss, but it could be seen that the seed of rage was sprouting within him. There was a lot of detail in his act. The muscles around his eyes twitched every time he took a step towards the camera. The anger of a human who was looked down upon was conflicting with the anguish of the social animal that told him that there was no good in fighting. It was just the kind of act Jayeon wanted. An act that stimulated the emotions—the abstract—through the means of actions—the concrete. Maru must have rehearsed dozens, or even perhaps hundreds of times, in his head for that short moment of turning around and walking away.
The two actors were acting well above their pay grade. If she couldn’t make use of this scene, she might as well take off her title of producer. She could already imagine herself cutting and editing the scenes with dark circles under her eyes in the editing room. It would be a very tiring, but still fun, process.
Hyunjin walked towards Maru, who was walking away. The camera slowly slid back on the rail. The staff members holding a reflector and a boom mic also moved accordingly. Thanks to the actors doing their utmost best, the staff also looked nervous. They probably knew from experience that there was a woman ready to nag them if they made a mistake. Jayeon bit on her thumb. She didn’t want mistakes to happen here.
Hyunjin walked past Maru and went in front of him. That was an idea that she came up with on the spot. Yoomin was supposed to be a character who hates to lose even at the most trivial things, so Hyunjin asked if she could go around Maru and stop him from the front instead of stopping him from behind. That was the first time Hyunjin ever voiced her own opinion. There was no producer who wouldn’t listen to her when she was speaking with eyes filled with conviction. The structure didn’t look that bad when she pictured it either. Now that she actually watched their act, it couldn’t be better.
Hyunjin walked past him and turned around. The camera didn’t catch the side of her face properly, but Jayeon did not stop the shoot. For the side image, they could just shoot again.
“You can’t retort now, can you?”
Hyunjin snapped at him. It was her declaration of victory. Maru pulled his chin inwards. Jayeon was reminded of a bomb with a fuse that was almost all burnt up.
This was the important part. Jayeon looked at the monitor with the mindset that she would not miss a pixel shift. Bigfoot was pitiful for handing in his day off at the orders of the head doctor. It was heartbreaking to see Bigfoot trying to hide his situation in fear of making his parents worry. Bigfoot represented the ‘weak’ of the era, and he always took a step back. Sharing that pain was the objective of episodes 7 and 8. The reactions were hot after those two episodes went live. Society was overflowing with people who waited for others to caress their pains. If the problem abundant in society was handled delicately and cautiously, the episodes wouldn’t have received as much attention. The reason for their success was that they showed the problem raw with just a little twist.
Since they received attention, it was time to add fuel to the fire and fan the flames. Maru said to Eunbin that he should step out while he was still receiving applause, but Jayeon thought that they couldn’t pull out when they’ve managed to garner applause from the masses. Since they shared the pain, what would have to come next? Normally, it would be a refreshing resolution to that pain. The law of the drama was to gouge out the source of the pain and lead the protagonist to the path of victory. However, Bigfoot was not the protagonist. Not only that, he was caught up in a paradox as well. If he managed to gain success, then the viewers would be dissatisfied. They would think that dramas were a fantasy after all, and that reality was still a shithole. That would be worse than not doing anything at all. An ordinary plot would become a poison pill instead. However, that didn’t mean that they could leave Bigfoot as a loser either. After all, dramas were supposed to be fantasy.
“Those who have slept in a bed since birth will think that sleeping on beds is natural. Such people will ask why people sleep on the floor when there’s a much more comfy bed,” Maru said.
The fires of rage that seemed like they would spread around like a wildfire originating from a spark falling on top of a dried branch suddenly disappeared without a trace. It looked like he transcended mortal desires, and also like he had given up. The face that was a mix of a smile and of a sad expression slowly regained its normal, calm demeanor.
“If you think so, then I don’t intend to fix your mindset at all. If you think I act like a victim and look like a loser in your eyes, then continue to think so. I can’t influence the world you see at all, nor do I even want to. I don’t want you to understand me. Last time, I just said what I said with the faintest hope that maybe I can get through to you, but this is what it comes down to in the end.”
“Are you saying I have to understand you?”
“No. You don’t need to. You just need to continue in that better environment, and I just need to continue to live in mine.”
“So in the end, I’m the bad girl, huh. A bad bitch who was born in a good environment but can’t even help other people out. Being born poor isn’t something to be proud of, is it? Nor is being born in a good environment a sin.”
“Nor is it something to be proud of either. I want to study without minding anything else as well. If I was in such an environment, I’m sure my parents wouldn’t have put aside their hospital fees just so that their son could study. But I wasn’t born like that. That’s why I should change the way I live in order to survive. You said you would have been able to tell the head doctor even if you were in a different situation, right? What happened to me is reality, and you’re only talking about ifs. Ifs are, in the end, just ifs.”
If Hyunjin was fire, Maru was ice. The hotter Hyunjin became, the colder Maru became. If they became heated together, then the act would have become a total mess, like a children’s choir where they just sing their own things without listening to the people around them. The two fit well with each other since the person who needed to become hot became hotter, while the one who needed to become cold became frosty. Jayeon clenched her hands and stared at the screen. The two people were moving towards the perfect curtain call.
“Ifs are just ifs in the end? After everything you said, it all comes back to self-justification.”
“If you see it that way, then sure. If you feel like that, then sure. I told you. I have no reason or intention to change you. You just live plentifully in that world of yours. If you want to tease the people who lack from time to time, then sure, go ahead and do that too. But please, don’t try to preach. You should’ve graduated from boasting about things that were inevitable back when you were in preschool.”
Hyunjin smiled as though she was overjoyed to death. She was not the same Hyunjin who looked awkward when she smiled like before. She looked spiteful, yet also attractive. It made Jayeon wonder what she was going to say next with that condescending gaze.
“You were really submissive to the head doctor, but you can talk so well in front of me, huh?”
“If you don’t like that, then you can just get ahold of the human resource control rights. Not that I would be here by the time you do.”
“So you actually are an opportunist, huh?”
“So you call people opportunists if they don’t submit to you, huh?”
Hey! – Hyunjin screeched. The background actors, who were walking by at their designated time, were startled and turned around to look. They truly looked surprised. Jayeon also flinched as she watched. She didn’t realize that Hyunjin would tremble to the point her hair was shaking. Maru, who was facing her, must have been shaken as well, but thankfully, he continued acting calmly. It would have been a pity if they stopped midway when they managed to get a good cut.
“Don’t scream like that, you’re making me feel embarrassed.”
It was Bigfoot’s signature smile that he showed throughout the drama, but the meaning came off as a little different. Maru started walking towards the camera again. The smile of victory on his face faded away very quickly. His expression didn’t look any different from Hyunjin’s glaring expression behind him. Although he received that well, his face seemed to show that reality hadn’t changed. Bigfoot’s victory was only a brief one, while Yoomin’s background still stood firm.
The second camera took a close-up shot of Yoomin’s face. She looked really wronged, as indicated by her twisted lips. There was no retrospect or regret, and she only seemed to find herself pathetic for not breaking through Bigfoot’s logic.
“You think you’re the best, don’t you!”
After throwing a temper for a while, Hyunjin kicked the trash can in the middle of the corridor. The trash can fell down with a loud noise, and the trash inside rolled around. That was an action that she didn’t do during the rehearsal. Jayeon exchanged gazes with the camera director and did not shout cut. She wanted to watch for a bit more. She wanted to see the loveable villainess that Eunbin talked about; the character created by the script and completed by the actor. Hyunjin, who huffed while looking at the fallen trash can, eventually brushed her hair backwards and started picking up the trash. She even muttered ‘why did I’ in a mumbling fashion.
