“A dead patient will not come back to life. Crying for the dead body will not change anything. If you have time to do that, it’d be better to read one more page, watch one more video footage, or practice one more time so that you can save the patient on the table next time. Charity and devotion. Yes, those are the right words. However, I can be sure of this. A patient would want a capable doctor, not an upright one.”
Heewon curled up his fingers placed on the book. The page of the book produced a low ripping noise as it was pulled out. Yoonseo, who stood in front of him, made a gentle expression and approached Heewon before placing her hands on top of Heewon’s.
“You did your best. It was a TA[1] in the middle of the night, and there were fifteen patients. There are things you just can’t do anything about. We are interns. and we did everything we could. The fact that you couldn’t save him is not your responsibility.”
“Yes, you’re right. What’s important is that there’s no one to listen to my excuses. If I saved him, if I looked more carefully, he might have lived. If he lived, I would be able to apologize for being clumsy to him.”
Heewon collapsed. He grabbed the edge of the table and cried while gagging.
“Okay. Those were good emotions just now.”
At the director’s sign, Heewon, who looked like he was about to bury his face on the ground, just drooped down on the spot. Yoonseo chuckled and patted him on his back. The atmosphere of the set, which had become taut due to the two main character’s passionate acting, became loose in an instant. The space that was filled with the voices and breaths of the two people was taken over by the voices of the staff as well as the noises produced by various equipment.
Maru took off the gown stained in blood. It had been about five hours since they shot the ER which had turned urgent because of a large-scale traffic accident. The scenes where the main actors were required to show their emotions were done in a mere 40 minutes. 4 hours were spent shooting the crowd scene with many people. The shoot dragged out because many people were involved and that consequently made the movement just that complex. Ambulance stretchers endlessly streamed into the ER like a train, patients were groaning in pain, emergency agents were urgently briefing the situation, the family who had come in a heartbeat after hearing the news were crying, as well as the medical jargon from the doctors to top all that off. When the camera moved according to the rail, the actors started acting according to that movement. It was nearly a miracle that they managed to finish the cut in just four hours.
“Han Maru.”
Heewon approached him. The stylist and the makeup artist behind him gave him strong signals with their eyes. Please make this man docile – they seemed to say. Maru nodded towards the two staff members desperately looking at him before grabbing Heewon by the shoulder.
“I don’t know what this is about, but you should get your makeup fixed first. I think you’re going to be in the next scene.”
“I have something I want to ask.”
“I will answer you, so leave your face and body to the ones behind you for now.”
After pushing Heewon, he put down the gown he had taken off and gave it to the outfit management staff. She seemed out of it as she had to clean up all the patient clothes that the background actors left behind.
“Should I put this here?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“You must have a hard time.”
“It’s the usual stuff.”
On days when there was a crowd scene with many different outfits, there would always be a person greeting the visitors of the outfit team with an exhausted face. Most of the time, it was the lowest-ranking member or the one just above that. Wherever it was, it didn’t change the fact that the bottom of the rung were the first ones to die.
“It’s over!” Hyungseok shouted as he put down the gown that he had folded.
His face was filled with a smile. He might be happy that the shoot had just finished, but what constituted more to that was probably the fact that he was given his first line. Maru could still remember him shouting ‘I want jjajang, jjam-ppong, and tangsuyuk’ towards the camera as he ticked his fingers before turning around and putting on a blissful expression.
“I wonder if I’ll get a commercial from a Chinese-style restaurant.”
“That’s a great talent for delusions you have.”
“You never know what will happen. There are many people who make a living out of posting videos on the internet. This is a drama we’re talking about, and not only that, it’s public TV. Who knows? Someone who runs a Chinese-style restaurant around my area might recognize me and put my face on the menu. The pride of Yooam-dong: Yoon Hyungseok.”
“I can’t believe you have the celebrity complex already. I recommend you visit a psychologist as soon as possible.”
He returned to the scene after chatting with Hyungseok. He was just about to go home after saying goodbye to the director.
Just then,
“Hey, Han Maru!”
Heewon, who he had intentionally forgotten about, rushed over to him, all neatened up with a cool-looking hairstyle and a black shirt.
“You’re an actor alright. You have a great fit.”
“Why are you complimenting me? It’s making me feel uneasy. I’m not sure about anyone else, but if you say it, I feel iffy, you know?”
“Well, you know why. Look behind you.”
Heewon turned around. Maru tried to escape during that short moment, but Heewon caught up quickly.
“Am I a loan shark to you? Why are you running away from me?”
“Because it’s obvious what you’re going to ask.”
“How do you know what I’m going to ask?”
“Han Gaeul.”
“Correct!”
“See?”
“Tell me about it. Considering Gaeul’s personality, she should have gone to see you. What happened after that? It’s been three days already. Isn’t it about time you tell me?”
Maru wondered why this guy had so much interest in this matter when he was a lazy, passive dude. It just went to show how worried he was, but telling him everything that happened would be quite funny since this concerned a matter between a man and a woman as well as something that happened during the night.
“Fine. I won’t ask what happened that night. Just tell me this.”
“What?”
Heewon lowered his voice after looking around.
“You two are back together, right?”
“Do you want to know that so badly?”
“I do. Above all, I have the duty to check if any of my very few colleagues are doing well.”
“Since when did you get that duty?”
“It’s to stave off my boredom. Also, your expression tells me that things went well. Don’t you think you should acknowledge my contribution?”
“You only told her my address though.”
“All great things in the world start off with trivial things. It’s not me but my brother who knows your address, but let’s not mind the trivial details.”
It seemed that this sloth had made up his mind today. Maru stroked his eyebrows and spoke,
“Fine, it went well. Okay?”
Heewon nodded and applauded.
“This time, don’t break up and do well. Don’t make the people watching you suffer. You aren’t kids. It’s so childish.”
“I somehow feel really depressed hearing that from you.”
He told Heewon good luck with his work before going over to Jayeon.
“Thank you for your work.”
“You’re leaving?”
“I am. It’s not like I have anything to do here.”
“Do you want to be my conversation partner then?”
“Do I get paid for it?”
“No.”
“Then I’ll just leave. I should get washed up and sleep. I feel tired after standing up for the whole day.”
“You’re clearly overreacting as you’re so young. And sorry to disappoint you, but I think going home will come a little later.”
“Is there an additional scene I have to shoot?”
“No, but there’s someone who wants to talk to you.”
Maru followed Jayeon’s finger. Yoonseo greeted him with a nod and a faint smile. Maru also nodded back.
“Miss Yoonseo, you mean?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know either. She said she wanted to ask you something related to acting, but I don’t know what people really think on the inside. Go on. Don’t make our main actress wait.”
He said okay before approaching Yoonseo. She had also taken off the doctor’s gown and changed into a one-piece dress. It seemed that she was preparing for the dating scene outside the hospital which was going to happen next.
“I heard you had business with me.”
“Yes. Were you going home?”
“I was. I finished my part after all.”
“Sorry for holding you back.”
“It’s fine as long as it doesn’t take a long time.”
Maru waited for her to speak.
“It’s not anything amazing. I just wanted to thank you. I was able to gain a hint for today’s act after watching the movie you recommended to me.”
“You don’t have to thank me. Just tell senior Joohyun that you were deeply impressed by the movie when you meet her in the future.”
“You know senior Ahn Joohyun?”
“Somewhat. Senior Joohyun is really good when it comes to using minute changes in facial expression to create an atmosphere, so if you ever find yourself lacking, you should watch her other films for reference. I’m sure it’ll be as good of a study as Spring Calendar.”
“I will. I’ve watched all the recent dramas that she was featured in, but I’ve never thought about watching her old pieces. Spring Calendar was especially shocking. I even forgot that I had to learn from her and became immersed in it.”
“The synergy created by an amazing director and a good actress can be beyond imagination sometimes.”
Maru could see Hyungseok stomping his feet in the distance. His body was screaming ‘what are you doing with Yoonseo without me, who’s her fan?’ Things would get messy if he called him here, so he had to wrap things up.
“If you don’t have anything more to say, I’ll take my leave now.”
“Sorry for holding you back.”
He bowed before turning around.
Just then,
“Mr. Maru.”
“Yes?”
“It’s somewhat of a stretch to call it a repayment, but may I buy you a meal later?”
“Being treated to a meal is a luxury when the only thing I did is tell you the title of a movie. Just give me an autograph later so that I can give it to a fan who likes you.”
Yoonseo smiled and accepted. Maru walked over to Hyungseok, who quickly gestured to him to come.
“What the hell? What did you two do? What did you two talk about?”
“This bro went to her to get an autograph.”
“Really?”
“I thought you were a Yoonseo fan.”
“If she’s pretty, I’ll be a fan. So, what about the autograph? I was holding back from asking for one because we were in a shoot.”
“She’ll give one to me later.”
“I have a splendid friend alright. But what about a meal instead of an autograph? Drinking is even better.”
“Do you think you’d drink with someone like you if you were Yoonseo?”
“No, I would find it bothersome and just ignore it.”
“Well, there you have it. Let’s just go home.”
Maru put his arm around Hyungseok’s shoulders.
* * *
“Can I ask what you talked about?” Jayeon asked as she poked Yoonseo with her elbow.
She wondered what they talked about after Yoonseo went as far as to ask her to call him out separately.
“It wasn’t anything much. I was just recommended some reference material for acting. I was just going to thank him.”
“If it was like that, you should have just gone to him directly without coming to me.”
“I planned to, but I found it a little hard to talk to that person. I could talk to him easily when we were with other people too. That’s why I asked you. I’m strange, aren’t I?”
“Quite a bit. Do you have feelings for him?”
“Feelings? Oh no. This is no time to be thinking about that either.”
“But you’re at that age where you should be in love.”
“My agency will flip upside down if they find out. The clause forbidding me from having a relationship is gone now, but I’m still known as an idol, so I can’t have a boyfriend.”
“You have it hard.”
“It’s hard, but it’s just as worth it.”
“So, did you thank him? As someone who has been in this industry longer than you were, I can tell you that strange rumors might start circulating if you receive something and don’t do anything about it, you know?”
“I know that. That’s why I even told him I would treat him to a meal, but he rejected me instantly.”
“That must have scratched your pride quite a bit, huh?”
Yoonseo hesitated before speaking,
“Actually, it was pretty good. Honestly, I just said it out of formality. I almost ended up thanking him for rejecting me.”
“He’s a quick-witted one after all. He might have realized that you didn’t feel good about it.”
“Really?”
“He’s not ordinary, that kid. Try having a deep conversation with him later. He’s a really decent guy to have as a friend. You know how stingy I am with compliments, right?”
Jayeon checked the time before speaking again,
“Let’s get ready. We should go home before the sun rises.”
“I want to do that too.”
“If so, then bring out your best. I’ll give you okay signs as soon as possible.”
The marathon known as a drama started. At first, they might have it easy, but as the goal nears, they would have to resolve themselves to become semi-corpses. They needed to hold back on laughing and chatting time in order to prevent the disaster of shooting that day’s episode in the morning, so they had to get themselves together.
“Let’s begin.”
It was time to push on again.
[1] Traffic accident
