It was a rabbit with a pocket watch. The rabbit, which twitched its nose as it looked at the pocket watch, put the pocket watch away in a calm manner as though the time was nigh before hopping away. Gaeul hurriedly followed after it. She wondered why she was chasing it, but she couldn’t care less when she saw the rabbit waving its round tail before disappearing into the narrow alleyway. She decided to follow for now.
The alleyway was curvy and only wide enough for one person to pass through. She used the rabbit’s white fur as a guide as she kept following it. The rabbit always waited for her in this maze-like place. Perhaps she would go to the world that Alice went to if she kept going down this path.
The guiding rabbit suddenly stopped. Gaeul looked at the wall that blocked her path. The large stone wall, which even covered the sun, looked like no human could overcome it. The rabbit looked at the pocket watch. After twitching its nose, it slowly approached her. Gaeul slowly reached out. She was helpless against rabbits from a young age. Just as she was about to touch the soft-looking fur, the rabbit spoke.
“It’s a dead end again.”
The rabbit’s words didn’t contain any emotions. Gaeul quickly pulled her hands away as she felt the hair behind her neck stand on its end. Scary – a clear feeling rose up inside her.
“It can’t be helped. It just can’t be helped.”
The rabbit opened the pocket watch. Gaeul looked inside. It was an ordinary watch with indications for 12, 3, 6, and 9. However, when she had a closer look, there were different numbers between those numbers. 12, 3, 6, 9. The same numbers appeared in each of the four quadrants divided by the original four numbers. More numbers existed between those, and that was being repeated infinitely. The two hands – the hour hand and the minute hand – were split into four along with a screeching metal sound. The hand that pointed at the hour fell on the floor and cracked like a crumbling cookie. Just as she was becoming unable to tell what numbers the hour hand and the minute hand were pointing at, the rabbit spoke.
“Time is a thing that can be rewinded after all.”
She felt a hint of emotion in the colorless voice that belonged to the rabbit.
That emotion was deep resignation.
* * *
7 a.m. She tried to sleep in since it was Sunday, but her eyes opened by themselves. The rabbit she had seen in the dream. What was up with those sad-looking eyes she saw at the end? Gaeul sat on her bed in a daze before standing up. The clear scenery from her dream started to blur. She didn’t mind it that much since that was how dreams worked, but for some reason, the figure of the rabbit engraved in her mind became clearer and clearer. She came out to the living room and stood in front of the fridge. She saw a sticky note left behind by her mother.
-My girl, had a good sleep? Mom’s going out for work.
“She’s busy.”
She took off the sticky note and took out some water. It wasn’t a nightmare, but it gave her an iffy feeling. After drinking about two sips, she sat down on the sofa with her phone in hand. When the cool leather touched her skin, her drowsiness left her.
She thought about turning the TV on but decided not to. She wanted to enjoy the silence of the morning for a little longer. When she looked at the ticking clock, she was reminded of Maru for some reason. It was still early, so she thought that he wouldn’t pick up.
Just in case though, she tried calling him. He said that he didn’t have any shoots this weekend, so he should be sleeping in. After the signal sound rang out once, she thought that she shouldn’t interrupt his sleep and was about to press the end call button when,
-Hello?
“Oh, Maru.”
-What’s up? You’re calling at this hour.
“Sorry, did I wake you up?”
-No, I’ve been up for quite a long time now. I woke up at around six, so it’s been an hour.
“You woke up early. Didn’t you say you didn’t have a shoot today?”
-I’m on break, which I haven’t had in a long time.
“You should’ve gotten some more sleep. You must be tired.”
-I just happened to wake up. Also, I could say the same thing to you. What woke you up at this hour? You said you didn’t have classes today and told me that you were going to sleep in.
“I also happened to wake up,” she said as she poked the cushion.
She thought that he would be sleeping, but he was awake just like her. It had to be a coincidence, but she was rather happy that they matched like this. They say those in love will become similar to each other, and perhaps this was a facet of that?
“Have you had breakfast?”
-I was planning to eat with Bada when she wakes up. What about you?
“I have to eat by myself.”
-What about your mother?
“She left early in the morning. She’s really busy these days. I rarely see her during the weekend, and even on weekdays she leaves quite frequently with her laptop.”
-She’s being chased by deadlines?
“Probably not. She always shows me her drafts when she’s done with them, but with the novel she’s writing this time, she hasn’t even finished her draft yet. When I ask her, she just smiles and won’t answer me. She’s my mom, but she really is ill-natured.”
-That’s her charm. If you don’t want to eat by yourself, would you like to come over to our house?
“Nah, it’s way too early. Also, you said Bada’s there too, didn’t you? She would be uncomfortable.”
-Wait a sec.
She heard some noise over the phone. A while later, she heard Maru talking to someone. He was probably talking to Bada.
“Han Maru, don’t do it. Let Bada sleep. She must be tired.”
She waited for Maru’s answer, but what she heard was Bada’s drowsy voice.
-Is that you, unni?
“Yeah, Bada. Sorry to wake you up from sleep.”
-Nah. I was planning to get up early anyway. I’m a high school student too now. I should study.
“That’s amazing, Bada.”
-Nah. Rather than that, you’re alone in your house? Then come over. Let’s eat breakfast together. I can’t say that all of my brother’s cooking is good, but his egg bibimbap is definitely good.
“But….”
-So unni hates me?
“It’s not like that. It’s just that it’s still early and….”
-It’s fine, it’s fine. I’d be bored by myself at home anyways. I might as well play with you. Also, I want to hear from you about how it went with the agency stuff. Han Maru, that guy never mentions stuff like that. Unni, have you seen celebrities?
“I did, I guess.”
-Do you have photos?
“A couple.”
-Come over right now. Oh, and Han Gaeul, I think that name is really good.
“Thanks.”
She felt like she had a phone call with a family member. She felt grateful towards Bada who told her to come over without hesitation. Gaeul threw her phone on the sofa before running to the bathroom. Since she was going, she had to fully prepare herself.
* * *
“Unni?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Wow, you put your mind to it. I was wondering why you weren’t coming even though it only takes 40 minutes by bus.”
Bada grinned and poked her side. Gaeul smiled awkwardly and went inside. She heard the sound of frying while she was taking her shoes off. The savory smell was a bonus.
“Where are your parents?”
“My dad is working in the countryside, so my mom goes there every weekend. Thanks to that, I’m enjoying my freedom!”
Bada lifted her arms in joy and threw herself on the sofa.
“You’re here.”
Maru peeked out from the kitchen. In his hand was a frying pan. Gaeul put the eco bag she brought on the table.
“Should I help?”
“You should just sit since you’re a guest. But what did you bring?”
“Some fruits.”
“You shouldn’t have done that, you should’ve just come empty handed.”
“That wouldn’t be too polite of me.”
“Where did you learn things like that? I guess our little Gaeul is all grown up now, eh?”
“Wanna get hit by a grown up?”
“Uh, I’d like to refuse. If you’re so bored, can you take out the side dishes and put them on plates? There are big containers in the fridge.”
She took out the side dish containers from the fridge. She put some delicious-looking cucumber kimchi onto a plate and looked at Maru’s figure from the back. He was stirring eggs with chopsticks in front of the stove, looking completely natural as he made food. He even cracked some eggs with one hand.
“Do you cook a lot?”
“I do. The food I brought you when you were sick last time was also made by me. Wasn’t it good?”
“It was, but just thinking about it startles me. I opened my eyes and there was a boy in front of me. I hadn’t gotten washed too.”
“That’s just how people live.”
“No, it isn’t. Most people don’t make sudden visits.”
“That’s most people, not everyone. So tell me, were you happy that I visited or not?”
“Are you going to be mad if I say I wasn’t?”
“No, I’ll make even more visits. I’ll bring food every weekend. I’ll do that until you say you’re happy.”
“What a guy. Fine, I was happy, you satisfied?”
“Acting embarrassed, huh. Come here for a sec.”
“Why?”
“Have a taste test.”
He gave her a spoonful of the fried rice. Didn’t Bada say bibimbap? Anyway, she leaned forward and ate off of the spoon.
“It’s okay.”
“Our household doesn’t put a lot of salt in food.”
“It’s good enough though.”
“That’s good, then. Han Bada, clean up the table. We’ll eat there.”
Bada yawned and cleaned up the table in the living room. After all she said about her brother, it seemed that she listened to his words.
Maru put the fried rice into three bowls.
“Usually, we put chilli paste and some vegetables before mixing it together.”
“You mix it after frying the rice?”
“It’s better this way. The calorie count is higher too.”
“You just had to add that at the end.”
“You’re going to eat anyway, aren’t you?”
She was going to have to eat. Gaeul headed to the living room with the bowls. She put them on the table Bada had cleaned. As she was looking at the golden-colored fried rice, something caught her eyes.
“Are these the videos you were talking about before?” she asked as she picked up one of the videotapes that were piled into a tower.
Maru nodded as he brought the chilli paste.
“Thanks to the VCR you lent me, I could watch them.”
“There’s a lot.”
“There’s even more in my room.”
“How many did you say you have?”
“About sixty.”
Gaeul looked at the videotapes in each hand. If there were sixty of these, then the sheer volume would be quite considerable. She could see a box in Maru’s open room as well. It was a blue plastic box, and the videotapes seemed to be from there.
“Unni, they’re no fun at all. I thought they were movies, but they aren’t. The resolution is terrible too. It makes my eyes hurt.”
“I told you many times that they were for studying. Here, take your spoon.”
Bada shook her head and started mixing her rice.
“You said they were videos about an actor, right?”
“Yeah, but it isn’t just one person; it’s the practice of an entire theater troupe, so it’s taking quite a lot of time to go through them. But they are helpful, so I’m not finding it a waste of time.”
“They were helpful?”
“To me, quite a lot.”
Gaeul put down her spoon and looked at the videotapes. It kept tugging at her mind when she heard that they were helpful.
“Let’s watch them together after we eat.”
“Can I?”
“It’s no big secret after all. For now, eat before the food gets cold.”
Gaeul put down the videotapes. Her desire to do better in acting formed a more specific goal after she entered the agency. She wanted her laugh acting to be more detailed; for her sad acting to exude sadness; and for her to be able to transmit anger without expressively being angry.
Those kinds of thoughts came up all the time when she looked at Heewon’s acting. When she looked at him, and his acting, which looked very liberal like a bird flying without restraint, she wanted to become like him. However, she was aware that Heewon’s method was not something an ordinary person could understand and imitate just like her teacher said. She had to look for Han Gaeul’s unique color. Gaeul stuffed her mouth with food as she looked at the videotapes.
