In the silent Ruin’s End, Li Qingshan foresaw this “malice”. He understood what kind of person he was. That stubbornness and arrogance would probably become even wilder once it was no longer tied down by the body of the demonic and divine.
He had never understood himself as much as right now.
In the homeland of spirit turtles, his thought power became exceptionally powerful, reaching an unbelievable level.
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Regular people could only skim the surface of the tremendous amount of information in their memories, like observing the ripples of the ocean surface. Only when they were in deep thought could they dive below the surface and observe a fraction of the memories, and it would be unavoidably limited as well.
This limit protected humans from mental collapse. If just looking at an apple fall to the ground would bring forth the countless formulae and laws regarding gravity—several large books worth of content—their brains would go pop.
As a result, the thought process of humans was more like a torch, constantly shining around in the darkness before using the unclear impressions to assemble a complete picture. It was unavoidable for them to fill in a majority of the details by themselves. The more distant and blurry the memory was, the more surreal and detached from reality it would be.
Those perfect years of childhood and the long-gone history of the past would constantly be modified by wishful thinking, such that the truth would be submerged in darkness forever.
And the torch would always struggle to illuminate the person themselves, such that “knowing yourself” became almost impossible. It became a profound and abstruse topic of philosophy.
However, there was no such limit to spirit turtles. They themselves were like a great lightbulb. The range they could illuminate was limited as well, but there was only the unknown darkness, not a false reality. They could constantly reflect on themselves too, such that they remained clear and conscious.
This was not a so-called “high IQ” or the ability to carry out a tremendous amount of calculations within a short time frame like a supercomputer. Instead, it was a vastly different method of understanding.
Synchronously, simultaneously, systematically, comprehensively understanding everything.
When they saw the apple fall to the ground, they did not have to go through any complicated notations or mathematics. They directly constructed the model and structure of gravity in their seas of consciousness, understanding the significance to themselves at the same time.
When Li Qingshan peered into the entirety of himself, illuminating his entire sea of memories, every single detail was presented before his eyes—desire, destruction, fear, weakness… He knew everything, the reason behind each emotion, the motivation for each decision.
With that as a foundation, he did not need any foresight or predictions to reach a simple conclusion.
If the “me” returned from hell, he would definitely judge him. If he were judged as a “traitor”, then he would do everything he could to destroy him, just like when he faced off against Demon God Taowu’s clone, where he would go even as far as mutual destruction.
There would not be any room for negotiation. Only “self-betrayal” was unforgivable, and it was very likely for “me” to possess that devastating power.
Losing his Yang Soul was a form of loss to him. It was equivalent to losing a transformation. His overall strength fell, becoming one step further away from the sixth heavenly tribulation again.
Yet, it was the exact opposite for “me”. Having broken free from the restraints of the body of the demonic and divine, he was only a step away from the sixth heavenly tribulation as an ordinary human cultivator.
Once he underwent the tribulation successfully, he would be a Human Immortal, a Human Immortal who knew all of his secrets, possessing an equally stubborn fighting spirit.
And by then, no one would be able to help him. He had to face himself alone.
By now, even he was forced to admit that he was an abnormal “monster”, possessing a powerful instinct of self-destruction.
But so what? He would not yield to anyone, even if it was himself.
Those who dominate others are strong, but those who overcome themselves have strength. Defeating himself and destroying himself had always been the fate of those with strength.
If they really betrayed one another and embarked on different paths, then there would only be battle, using survival and destruction to determine whose path was more correct.
Yes, only “self-betrayal” was intolerable.
He calmly and indifferently made a decision before setting aside all of these matters. That had never been his objective for understanding himself.
All of this counted on him being able to emerge from Ruin’s End, or there was no point considering any of this.
He emitted light, purging the darkness wave by wave. A thought process like that was extremely exhausting. The drowsiness became heavier.
Ruin’s End was different from outer space. Not only would his powers remain with him, he could easily absorb the endless power of Ruin’s End instead, supporting him for all eternity to swim through Ruin’s End.
However, the power of Ruin’s End was not purely a resource. It contained a tremendous amount of information and the primordial spirit turtle’s will, which accelerated the assimilation of his consciousness.
Once the assimilation began, it could not be stopped. Upon reaching a certain level, he would still fall asleep, and he would proactively choose to do so.
He was in a dilemma!
However, when he understood himself, he had already found a way to deal with it, or perhaps that was his exact objective.
During the two decades he spent studying arduously in the Pavilion of Heavenly Tomes, he comprehended another two innate abilities of the spirit turtle.
One was called Absolute Will. There was nothing special about it. It just completely consolidated his consciousness, such that he would not be affected by any inner demons.
If the Spirit Turtle’s Profound Shell and the Last Reflection of the Setting Sun were to protect his body, then Absolute Will was to protect his mind, basically living up to the idiom “turtling up in his shell” to the very end.
Unfortunately, this ability was completely useless in Ruin’s End, as this was the spirit turtle’s homeland. The primordial spirit turtle’s will was the true “Absolute Will”.
Even pure-blooded spirit turtles would accept the assimilation. As a fake spirit turtle, casually using any innate abilities of the spirit turtle would only accelerate the assimilation.
In short, no matter what he did, assimilation was unavoidable, just like water wearing down a rock, changing everything droplet by droplet.
He did not limit his scope to that. Instead, he considered the innate abilities of the spirit turtle comprehensively and found a way to deal with it.
First of all, he would use the Watermirror’s Image to create a mirror clone before carrying out a comprehensive self-reflection and making a copy of all of his memories and knowledge, consolidating it through the Absolute Will and storing it in his mirror clone.
It made him seem like he had projected out his soul. The image of a spirit turtle overlapped with him, copying his movements at every step.
Afterwards, he would absorb the power of Ruin’s End, recovering his strength and accepting the assimilation at the same time.
When his main body was about to fall asleep, he would immediately use his mirror clone to merge with his body, waking up himself through the Absolute Will and using his entire lifetime of memories to weave a new consciousness before creating a new mirror clone.
As long as he repeated this process endlessly, he could avoid assimilation, constantly returning to the same starting point.
Even though it was equivalent to assimilating countless times in reality.
Compared to the Absolute Will of his mirror clone, everything that happened to his main body would become so-called “inner demons”. After colliding together, smashing and suppressing all of it, it would be assembled again…
That was the only method to avoid assimilating with Ruin’s End that he could come up with.
Of course, it was impossible for this cycle to continue forever. From the start of the very first cycle, he had anticipated this.
Whenever he suppressed his “inner demons”, he would lose a portion of his memories in the collision, and it would be destroyed forever, unable to be backed up, unable to be found, lost forever.
According to the varying depths of the memories, he would forget the most unimportant memories first, such as a third-rate novel he had read in the past or a joke he had made.
During the two decades he spent in the Pavilion of Heavenly Tomes, he had accumulated enough of these memories to “offer up”.
However, if this continued, his memories would decrease, gradually approaching his most central and most important memories.
He had to find that prisoner of Ruin’s End before he lost all of his memories, or he would forget everything, including brother ox, including Xiao An, including himself…
