A rare, complicated expression appeared on Lu Zihao’s face.
“Jinjing, I—”
Long Jinjing forced herself to smile before shaking her head. “No need to explain yourself. I already know that you don’t…l-love me. It’s okay, Nikolai. Really.”
His expression became even more complicated. He opened his mouth but no words came out so he just shut it again.
She looked away and avoided his gaze while doing her best to blink away her unshed tears before they fell without her control.
“If you’re uncomfortable with me saying that I love you, I’ll stop.” Her whisper blended with the cold wind but she knew that he could hear her. “I won’t say it out loud anymore. It’s just that…I can’t…I c-can’t help it. I really do love you, Nikolai.”
He sighed. A heavy feeling was pressing within his chest. It was so damn uncomfortable, but he had no idea how to deal with it, or how to deal with her, and this entire situation between the two of them.
All he could do was to pull her in his arms and embrace her. Then he pressed a kiss on top of her head.
“I’m sorry, Jinjing.”
Those words broke her control. She pressed her face against his chest. Tears spilled from her eyes and soaked his light coat. However, she kept silent, preventing herself from sobbing loudly, not wanting to bring unnecessary attention to the two of them in this public place.
He lifted her chin and forced her to look at him. His warm and rough fingers wiped away her tears but more flowed out from her eyes.
“If I weren’t who I am, I would marry you in a heartbeat, Jinjing. But I can’t give you the happily ever after that you desire. A devil like me doesn’t deserve an angel like you.”
She couldn’t see him clearly anymore because of the darkness and the tears clouding her vision.
“You keep calling yourself a devil…but y-you’re not. And I’m not an angel either. Both of us are only h-humans.”
He didn’t reply but his expression indicated that her words didn’t shake his beliefs.
“But even if you’re really a devil, I’ll still love you because…that’s who you are.”
It was then that he felt something inside his chest shake. No, it was more than that. It felt like something inside his entire being shook. She didn’t know this, however, and kept talking after seeing that he didn’t react.
“It’s okay, Nikolai. I understand that you don’t…l-love me at all. I already accept it even though it hurts. But t-thank you for indulging me and taking me out on a date today before our relationship…ends.”
He frowned but still didn’t say anything. Her words from earlier about loving him for who he was continued to echo inside his mind, sending his own emotions into utter confusion.
“And although I know that it’s just an excuse when you said that you’ll marry me in heartbeat if you weren’t who you are, it still made me a little happy inside.”
This time, her smile was more natural than her earlier shaky and pitiful one.
He embraced her more tightly, almost crushing her soft and petite body, while he looked up at the night sky. His expression showed none of the tumultuous emotions raging inside him. He knew that she was crying because of him but couldn’t do anything about it. He didn’t know how to.
Then he sensed a faint sigh of frustration within his consciousness. It was the remnant of Lu Zihao.
He didn’t respond to it. The remnant also didn’t speak to him.
It was when the temperature dipped again and Long Jinjing’s teeth started chattering from the cold that Lu Zihao finally broke their restless embrace. They retraced their way back to the car. [This novel is a contracted work with W e b n o v e l. c o m (remove spaces). If you’re not reading this chapter on W e b n o v e l, it has been stolen. It’s very discouraging to see thieves profiting from my hard work. Please support the original author, ArriaCross. Thank you! Also follow me on Instagram @arriacross]
A few minutes later, the heat was blasting inside the vehicle, gradually warming both of them up. Long Jinjing removed her scarf and glanced at the time on the dashboard. It was already getting late but she refrained from reminding him, wanting this moment with him to last longer. She took a peek at him.
Although his expression didn’t show her any of his real thoughts and emotions like usual, she still took comfort in the fact that he wasn’t making any moves to leave this place aside from turning on the engine and the heater. Perhaps he also wanted this moment with her to last longer.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
Then his low voice interrupted her bittersweet thoughts.
“Jinjing.”
It took her a few seconds to respond.
“Y-yes?”
He faced her. “I want you.”
She swallowed hard upon seeing the fierce hunger in his eyes.
“Right now,” he growled.
She couldn’t see her face right now but knew that the same hunger was reflected in her own eyes.
“Me, too,” she whispered.
He reached for her face and gently pulled her closer until their faces were only inches apart. Their warm breaths intermingled and became heavy.
“Ride me.”
Her eyelashes trembled as a familiar warmth pooled in her lower abdomen at his devilish voice. She raised her eyes and looked straight at him. Her face was completely red but she took a deep breath and reached over to him with her hand.
He groaned when she touched and gently squeezed the hardness on his groin. Despite her shyness, she never took her eyes away from him. Elation filled her at his response to her touch.
Feeling more daring, her hands continued to grope him through his pants. When he became rock-hard, she started unbuckling his belt. He neither said anything nor moved to offer her any assistance, only watching her through half-lidded eyes.
She struggled for a bit before finally freeing his erection. She swallowed hard again while staring.
‘Mine,’ she declared in her mind.
“Yes.” His voice was hoarse.
She jumped in her seat, startled, not realizing that she had spoken out loud. Her face and neck burned with embarrassment. She let go of his manhood but he quickly caught them and placed them back on his lap.
“Yours,” he said.
