As soon as Jiraiya entered Hiruzen’s office, he almost faceplanted into the ground when he saw what his sensei had prepared to trick Tsunade. The room was dim and gloomy. The only sound that could be heard was the bleeping of a heart monitor and Hiruzen’s shallow breathing. A single bed stood in the darkest corner of the room with only the measurements of the heart monitor being visible. Although Jiraiya wasn’t a medical expert, he at least knew that, if he were to only judge Hiruzen’s condition by the displayed measurements, it wouldn’t look great for Hiruzen.
Jiraiya didn’t believe what he saw for even a second but wasn’t stupid enough to say anything to disturb Hiruzen’s plan. He did, however, use his signature jutsu that he usually uses for peep…*cough*…researching to blend into the background to escape Tsunade’s inevitable wrath that will descend on Hiruzen after his scheme is seen through.
Hiruzen, meanwhile, sharpened his sense to the max to successfully get through the situation with the desired outcome.
‘Time to get serious. This won’t be easy at all. The moment Tsunade checks my condition, it’s game over, so I have to force the title of Hokage on her before she can do so. It seems that Yuna isn’t with them, which is a good thing. I have no idea how she would react in this kind of situation, but I am pretty sure that she would try to screw as many people over as possible, which would include me as well.’
The moment Tsunade entered the room, her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Hiruzen’s condition. Although she heard that he got wounded while fighting Orochimaru, she didn’t expect things to be this bad. Tsunade’s senses have dulled quite a bit over the long years when she wasn’t participating in any shinobi duties and was instead getting drunk every day, otherwise, she would have immediately noticed that things were a little suspicious.
The fact that the whole room was gloomy and that Hiruzen’s bed was placed in the darkest corner of the room should have been a rather obvious sign for that. Additionally, no one seemed to be in any kind of hurry during their journey back, which would have been weird if Hiruzen was actually about to die. For now, however, Tsunade was too worried about Hiruzen to notice those things.
A weak smile appeared on Hiruzen’s face when Tsunade entered the room.
“Ah, Tsunade. It is good that you made it back in time. I was hoping to confirm that Konoha is in good hands before I have to go. You will take over as Hokage, won’t you?”
“Of course, sensei. I have already decided that I am going to become the next Hokage.”
A sad smile appeared on Hiruzen’s face as he quickly continued talking to distract Tsunade from checking his health.
“Tsunade, don’t decli…did you just say that you agree?”
A righteous look appeared on Tsunade’s face as she straightened her back and started speaking with confidence.
“Of course, sensei. You don’t have to worry about anything, I will take over the position of Konoha’s next Hokage and will lead the village.”
Tsunade, however, was not Yuna, and Hiruzen could actually see that Tsunade’s eyes revealed some hidden greed while Tsunade was saying these words, but right now, Hiruzen couldn’t care less about that.
‘She agreed? How did that happen? I was certain that she would decline with all her might. WAIT! Why did I even bother playing sick! What am I supposed to do now? Well, I will get beaten up, but I was already prepared for that. Getting a beating in exchange for getting rid of the Hokage position is totally acceptable in my book, but what am I supposed to do now? Won’t I get beaten without a reason?’
While Hiruzen’s thoughts were drifting further and further away, Tsunade quickly approached him and grabbed his wrist, while chakra was coursing through her hand. The moment Hiruzen’s wrist was grabbed, his face paled as cold sweat started flowing down his back like a river.
“Don’t worry sensei, I am not known as the world’s best medic for nothing. I am sure I can…heal…you?”
The more Tsunade spoke, the more pressure she radiated and the more nervous Hiruzen became. It certainly didn’t help that Tsunade was still holding his wrist and that her grip was getting stronger by the second.
“T-T-Tsunade, c-calm down. I can expl…”
“Sensei?”
“Y-Yes?”
“Your life isn’t actually in danger, is it?”
“N-No, it isn’t, b-but Tsunade I…”
“So, you tried to trick me, right?”
“N-No…err…yes…err…T-Tsunade list…ow ow ow…my wrist, you are breaking my wrist. Calm down! I can explain!”
“Fine. Then start explaining, sensei.”
Hiruzen heaved a sigh of relief when Tsunade actually stopped crushing his wrist, but considering she was still holding it rather tightly, he knew that he couldn’t get out of this. Since she was holding his wrist, she could easily monitor his body’s reaction while he was talking and could find out whether he was lying or not. Most people couldn’t do that but as the world’s best medic and one of its strongest shinobi, Tsunade had no trouble doing so, even when her opponent was someone as experienced as Hiruzen.
“W-Well Tsunade, long story short, I wasn’t expecting you to agree to become the next Hokage, so I decided to take more… drastic measures. I might not be dying, but I’m certainly no longer in any condition to defend the village from its enemies.”
“Ohhh, I see, I see. That is a really good reason, isn’t it?”
Although Tsunade was nodding her head in acknowledgment, Hiruzen wasn’t naïve enough to think that this was already over.
“So, sensei…”
Hiruzen couldn’t help but shudder when he heard Tsunade’s voice. It contained a weird combination of anger and friendliness, that made him feel rather uncomfortable.
“… what is the real reason?”
“…”
“…”
An oppressive silence reigned over the room and the longer it lasted the more nervous Hiruzen became. He was constantly thinking about what to say but couldn’t come up with anything good. He gritted his teeth and moments later, he finally snapped and yelled out the real reason.
“IT’S BECAUSE I CAN’T STAND DOING ALL THIS F*ING PAPERWORK ANYMORE. IF I HAVE TO SIG… *BOOM**PUHA*!!!”
“THAT’S IT?!”
Tsunade mercilessly smashed her fist into Hiruzen’s stomach, resulting in him expelling his remaining breath and stopping his outburst mid-sentence.
“*cough**cough* Please go easy on me Tsunade, I am not young anymore.”
Tsunade, however, ignored his pleas while a menacing look appeared on her face.
“Any last words, sensei?”
“…”
“…”
“Jiraiya knew about my condition.”
“O-OI! SENSEI!”
Jiraiya was so shocked by Hiruzen throwing him under the bus like this, that he actually raised his voice, which revealed where he was hiding.
“Haha, if I’m going to be beaten anyway, shouldn’t you, as my student, share a bit of the pain!?”
‘That is for not informing me that Tsunade has accepted the offer!’
“Jiraiya…Is that true?”
Jiraiya subconsciously took a step back when Tsunade’s eyes landed on him, while his eyes quickly scanned the room to find a solution. Right now, he was the closest to the door so there was actually a good chance that he could run away from Tsunade. But, would his dignity really allow him to do something so shameful?
“Now, now, Tsunade, no need to get angry. Although I knew about sensei’s condition I didn’t know he would try to trick you like this and additionally…byebyeseeyoulater!”
Of course, it would! He would easily do something this shameful. Before Tsunade could digest Jiraiya’s first argument, he had already turned around and raced out of the door, leaving a dumbfounded Hiruzen and Tsunade behind.
A while later, Tsunade left the room, to hunt down Jiraiya and, although Hiruzen’s whole body hurt, it was not something that one or two days of rest couldn’t heal.
‘Hehe, just as planned. No matter how angry she gets she wouldn’t deal any heavy blows to her sensei. Especially not if she has Jiraiya as an additional target for her wrath. Sorry Jiraiya, I will come up with some way to compensate you for your sacrifice.’
Hiruzen leaned back on the sickbed that was still inside his office, and moments later a wide smile appeared on his face. Then he started to chuckle and moments later, he was laughing loud enough for half the building to hear. Although it took him a while to calm down, he still couldn’t erase the happy smile from his face.
‘I can’t stand the paperwork anymore? Although that is true, I still managed to conceal the main reason from you, Tsunade. Hehe, your old sensei still has some tricks up his sleeves. I hope you enjoy dealing with Yuna from now on.’
Yet again, loud laughter echoed out of Hiruzen’s office. Although no one knew why Hiruzen was in such a good mood, most people thought that he is simply happy that Tsunade was back in Konoha.
