Min-joon said in a quiet voice, “I’ve been thinking over it for the past few weeks. What goal should I pursue? When I become the best chef in the world, does it mean my life is complete? If I reach that stage, who can stand beside me?”
“Well, you will feel lonely when you reach the top of the world.”
“Daniel didn’t live lonely.”
She shut her mouth at that like a dumb person. He was right. Even though Daniel had all of the cooking talents, he never tried to get away from people and stand aloof. Daniel was the most sociable person she had ever known.
“I’m going to make every chef reach their top status. I’m not going to be the best alone, but I’ll be the one who knows what the best is, so I can teach them how to achieve it because that’s the only way we can surpass even Daniel. And in order to achieve it…”
Min-joon looked at her at that moment without finishing his words. “I’m going to make Chef Rachel no longer look up to Chef Daniel.”
When he said that, Rachel couldn’t even discuss her possibilities because she would feel ashamed to do so. It would be ugly for her to deny his words when her student pledged before her that he would overcome his limit and surpass Daniel. So, she turned her head.
While Lisa hesitated, Ella first took her dirt and sprinkled it over Jack’s coffin. The soil was sprinkled over Jack’s coffin and their limits.
***
There was no more cruel thing than to say that death made people mature because it meant that even their pain would serve as fertilizer to make them mature. Not accepting pain as pain, not accepting sadness as it was, but making use of it for their own purposes would be the evidence of their sad and narrow selfishness that reflects their obsessiveness with themselves.
“Don’t resent me, Jack. It’s your fault because you left this world as you wished,” Rachel muttered in a low voice.
Although she thought that Jack went to heaven, she also felt he might be wandering as a ghost by her side. She looked around her, then immediately sighed.
She recalled her conversation with him a few days before Jack died.
“I saw my limit, Rachel.”
He was smiling at her brightly while saying so happily without wiping the flour off his hands and forearms. Honestly, she couldn’t understand. If he saw his limit, wasn’t it right for him to despair?
So, she asked him why he felt so happy that he saw his limit. Jack said it was because he saw it in his eyes. He said all he had to do was to surpass himself now. At that moment, she wondered if he had really gone senile because she always thought there was one’s limit that one could not overcome under any circumstances. There was something like a wall she could never climb over.
But what about Jack’s bread she ate for the last time?
In her office, she pulled out an old picture of her. It was a picture she took with him when she was still young. Watching her next to Daniel and in front of Jack, full of confidence, she felt rather strange about herself.
“Isaac, why do you think I didn’t make any progress back then?”
Isaac, who was standing next to her, couldn’t answer easily because he knew how much she agonized and felt distressed back then. It was never easy for him to tell her that all her agonies and worries were just useless, after all.
But Isaac finally opened his mouth.
“Well, you made some excuses back then…”
“Excuse?”
“Yes, that’s true.”
She smiled bitterly at him, but she wasn’t surprised. In fact, she heard about it recently.
She opened her mouth in a quiet voice.
“Min-joon told me if he wanted to be like Daniel, I should first be Daniel’s teacher. He even said that if I could not surpass Daniel, he could not, either.”
“Did he really say that?”
“At first, I tried to tell him there was no law that a student should not surpass his or her teacher, but when I tried to say that, I suddenly felt I was very shabby because I could not even surpass my rival when my student already surpassed me.”
Isaac bowed his head. Rachel clenched her fist.
“Isaac, do you think I can really surpass Daniel?”
Instead of answering, Isaac stared at Rachel. This was a meaningless reply even if he said in the positive or in the negative. After all, it depended on how she thought of it.
So, he replied, “Well, it would be better for you to try than not try.”
“Yeah, that’s the answer!”
She nodded while pouting at his right reply that made it impossible for her to make any excuses.
At that moment, she recalled Min-joon. She recalled what he said when she met him at Jack’s funeral. He believed that she was as good as Daniel. She felt grateful to Min-joon that he trusted her more than she did, which made her feel a bit lonely and empty.
‘When did I start to believe that I couldn’t surpass Daniel?’
In fact, when Daniel was alive, she was trapped into that kind of thinking because he was so ahead of her that she could not even think of surpassing him. It was just too stupid for her to think she could catch up with him.
But what about now? Now that all of Daniel’s skills way back were vivid in her memory, could she still catch up to him? She didn’t know. She felt like she could catch up with him in her present frame of mind, but if she really tried it, she might end up having her last moment in life in despair even without surpassing him.
But it was the despair she recommended to Min-joon. Was it really the right thing for her to ask him as his teacher to make her wish come true when she put on him something she could not carry out by herself?
Isaac said, “Jack lived and died as Jack.”
“Yeah, he did.”
“Rachel, you have to live as Rachel.”
“What kind of person do you think I am?’
Isaac replied, “Well, someone who doesn’t hesitate to do something.”
***
“Catherine. Call me aunt! Aunt!”
“Annn…”
“Good, almost there. Good job!”
“Why do you think she pronounced it right?”
Watching Chloe giggling at Catherine after hugging her, Min-joon smiled, teasing her. Of course, he could understand her feelings when he watched Catherine beaming at him. So much so that he almost forgot Jack’s death for a moment.
At that moment, he felt somebody touching his arm, so he turned his head. Ella approached him and leaned her head against his arm. Ella said nothing. She probably couldn’t. Her voice was already hoarse because she cried too much, so she was probably too weak to say something.
“Do you want some jelly?”
“No.”
Ella shook her head. He hugged her, swallowing with a sigh. Leaning her head under his chin, she muttered in a low voice, “I want to see my grandfather.”
He looked at her without saying anything for a moment because as a child, her heart would be so delicate that his casual words could hurt her feelings. So, he looked at Marco. They exchanged their glance briefly, then Min-joon stood up, with her in his arms.
“Okay, let’s go and see him.”
“Can I see him?”
“Marco will show him, right?”
“Me?”
“Come with me anyway.”
Min-joon moved first, then Marco turned to others with an embarrassed expression. But they seemed to think Min-joon had some plan in mind, so they didn’t even pay attention to Marco.
After all, he followed Min-joon reluctantly. The place they went to was the baking room.
“Is Grandpa here?” Ella asked.
“Ella, do you remember Grandpa making bread here?”
“Yes, a little bit.”
“Marco will help you make bread, Ella. All the flour, the mill, and the oven here are keeping Jack’s soul and memories. So, when you make bread, you are with Jack. Got it, Ella?”
When he said that, Ella looked around her blankly, then nodded, looking up at Min-joon.
He smiled at her. He was not sure if she really understood his point, but this was all he could do for her right now.
Following Marco’s instructions, Ella soon began to knead bread little by little. No matter how much he helped her, she would not be able to make quality bread, of course. But it was not a quality bread she was making. She was making bread in memory of her grandpa.
Anyway, she managed to make ordinary rye bread when she made some strange expression, looking at the baked bread while pacing up and down the oven where the bread was being baked.
“Do you mean I already saw grandpa while I was making this?”
“Yeah, you can feel his touch and warmth while making this bread. Sometimes when you want to see your grandfather, tell Marco. Then you’ll be able to feel his presence here a bit…”
Ella grasped the bread in both hands at his words. Then, she took it a bit and put it in her mouth. As if she was so sad, tears dropped from her eyes. She wiped her tears with her fist. She then gave some of the bread to Min-joon.
“Uncle Min-joon, try it.”
“Can I do that?”
“Yes, it’s delicious.”
He smiled at her, then put one piece of bread in his mouth.
Honestly, it wasn’t delicious, but it had her warmth in it.
