─ You have to hurry up.
A flame burned over the fan. It would take a while for that thick flesh to heat up.
─ The waves have already reached behind you. It’s up to you whether you’re going to be swept away by the waves or whether you’re riding the waves.
He held a knife in his hand, which was as hot as the fan. He moved the sharpened tip of the knife toward the hairtail on the cutting board. What were the hollow eyes of the hairtail looking at? While he was scraping the scales of the fish, lost in such idle thought, he shook it off, too.
─ All the eyes of the nosy parkers in the New York cuisine world are watching you.
He cut off the head of the hairtail with the sound of its bone being crushed.
– They won’t cheer for you all the time.
He split the belly of the hairtail. The intestines of the hairtail slipped out along the blade of the knife. It smelled fishy.
─ Why? It’s because envy always is always accompanied by jealousy just like doubt always comes on the heels of trust. They will come by your side first, then push you out.
When he pushed the dorsal fin toward its head, he could clearly see the fins that stood up like the mane of a chicken. He cut the fins perfectly without missing any one fin.
─ Every action you take will become a wave and a tsunami, regardless of whether it’s good or bad.
He then mixed the starch powder and soy sauce powder and sprinkled them over the hairtail in a way they would not be stuck together.
─ You have to endure it.
The pan was now hot enough. Grapeseed oil was sprayed on the hot pan, and both became hot. He put the hairtail on the hot pan then baked it.
─ You will feel you have become a giant chef. You will feel that you have become the attention of everybody, so you feel like you can cook anything. Yes, what you have to overcome is happiness, not pain because happiness will make you greedy.
The source was simple. Avocado, pineapple, and wasabi were boiled together, then passed through a sieve to become puree. It was placed on the plate with the puree and hairtail stimulating one’s appetite more than ever. Three plates were arranged.
─ When you are more greedy, your dream will become shallower.
“…”
Min-joon was thirsty. So, he moved his steps not to the refrigerator but toward his room, which was shared by him and Kaya.
With the blinds pulled down, the room was still dark in the morning, and Kaya was asleep. He slowly approached her with an embarrassed expression like a person who discovered an oasis in the desert. He hugged her, who was asleep with the blanket pulled over her head, then rubbed his nose against her neck. He felt something like her hard and soft touch through the blanket, her body odor that touched the tip of his nose, and the warmth and vitality of her hair hung over her cheeks. He leaned on that kind of stuff of hers.
“Uh… What the heck are you doing to me early in the morning?”
She threw a tantrum at him in an annoyed voice, but he had no intention of being separated from her. Everything seemed to be fake to him because it was so fascinating and fantastic. Every dish he made was exceptionally well received by people amid great expectations of him.
He just could not believe the kind of success that he badly wanted was in his hands now as if it was taken for granted.
But he didn’t know why he felt something was still lacking when he got everything he wanted, and he had an opportunity that others could not even imagine. Some sort of emptiness made him put his mouth to her neck, eyes, and cheeks. But she was not moved at all. His unexpected move rather jarred her nerves.
She shouted, pushing out his arms, “Oh man, you’re annoying me! What are you doing now when you know I’m too tired these days? Just give me a break!”
“…”
“Why are you looking at me strangely?”
When he looked at her quietly, she asked softly as if she felt sorry for her action.
When he didn’t respond, she sighed and grabbed his neck, and had him lie down right next to her. At that moment, he said as if something came to his mind.
“Ah, right now…”
“Hey, shut up! Just give me five minutes for a break.”
“No, that’s not what I mean…”
“Shut up!”
Having said that, she hugged his face tightly and covered his lips with her shoulders.
He wanted to push her away at that moment, but he thought he had better hug her and feel her warmth, so he just stayed silently, hugging her. Little by little, he began to calm down, shaking off his anxiety. Only then did he seem to know why he felt so anxious and empty.
June was right, as always. She already knew this kind of desire that he was feeling right now. She already saw it.
He also wanted to have it, namely the world where all the people would pay attention to him and express admiration at each of his dishes.
Somebody said that if one had something, they would want to have more of it. That was the case with Min-joon. At first, he obviously thought that he would be satisfied with cooking only. But at some point, he wanted to do better than others and get people’s attention. He wanted to be the best chef, not just a great chef. He didn’t want to lead the kind of life that was too common to everybody. He wanted to live in a world where people would recognize him as special.
“What did you want to say to me a little while ago?”
After taking a brief break, Kaya asked, pushing away his arms from her.
He looked at her blankly for a moment, then opened his mouth.
“I’ve grilled some hairtail. It would be delicious if you eat it before it gets cold.”
“Hey, you should have told me earlier!”
“You are not going to get up when I say that, Kaya.”
“Well, I think it got a bit cold, so can I lie down for one more minute? Or about 1 minute and 40 seconds.”
He silently swept her hair behind her ears. Only then did she feel there was something unusual in his glance. So, she said cautiously, “1 minute 20 seconds is fine…”
***
“Oh my God! I wish I had come here much earlier!”
After all, Kaya came out to the kitchen and tried the grilled hairtail. But the moment she put it in her mouth, she uttered admiration right away. Aside from the delicious hairtail, the puree tasted so good as if it was his signature dish.
The combination of the hairtail with soy sauce powder, the sweetness of wasabi and pineapple, and the puree mixed with the fresh taste of avocado. This was just the taste that he usually preferred.
He opened his mouth, looking at her and Chloe.
“I like it best when you guys praise my dishes.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve heard people saying so often that my dish is so delicious.”
Chloe and Kaya looked puzzled as if they couldn’t understand his point.
Smiling at them blandly, he said, “People always say that my dish is delicious. Of course, I have hardly heard that my dish is not good, but these days, more and more people say my dish is delicious even before they try it. So, I just wonder if I’m making the dish right. I even wonder if I am really the same Chef Min-joon they associate with me.”
“I know your feelings,” Chloe said, nodding at him. In fact, when she was a TV broadcaster, she often wondered if the woman the viewers were watching on TV was really herself. So, she felt Min-joon might have felt the same thing because he received so much attention from people these days.
“I am getting greedy, you know.”
“What are you greedy about?’
“Well, I’ve got the desire to be the same person as the man they see in fantasy. Then I can remain as the best chef to them.”
“Then, just go ahead and get it!” said Kaya, spitting out the thorns of the grilled hairtail.
“Try to be that type of chef! A perfect chef without any flaws, and whatever dish you make, they are going to admire it. Perhaps because of the foam of your popularity, you are going to keep getting their praise. You don’t have to break the foam, right?”
“Do you think so?”
“Min-joon, you said you would appear on the TV show with June today, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then show them that the foam of your popularity is really not foam at all..”
“And then?”
Kaya handed out the empty plate. “Bring some more hairtail.”
