With Wu promising to clean up the kitchen and behave, at least for the time being, Vahn released her from the spatial prison. Afterward, the three of them, four if he included Riolu, moved to one of the empty residences while a total of eighteen Wu clones stayed behind to wipe down surfaces and mop up the veritable pond of vomit she had regurgitated onto the floor.
“I can’t believe you made me waste food like that. You’re a hell of a lot stronger than I gave you credit for. I mean, I can’t even recall the last time someone stirred up my insides like that.”
Ignoring Wu’s innuendous remark, Vahn finished setting up the TV while she and Nezha made themselves comfortable on the sofa he had pulled out of his Inventory. They were going to be watching an anime called RE: Born with a Cultivation Chat Group! as it was one of the first things that popped into Vahn’s mind when he thought about words with relatively modern settings and cultivation techniques.
As the name implied, RE: BCCG was an anime where the main character, a Korean by the name of Dae Song, had been reincarnated into a seemingly innocuous world that was no different from his original. It was only when he was preparing to enter college that he realized how truly mystical the world he had found himself in was, as, three weeks before he was scheduled to attend classes, he received an invitation to a WeChat group known as the [Nine Provinces (1) Group].
When the main character first stumbled upon the group, he didn’t take it seriously as the name had reminded him of a fictional story from his previous world. It wasn’t until events began playing out in accordance with his memories that he realized the truth. He may not have reincarnated with cheats, but, thanks to the knowledge he had inherited from his previous life, he was able to break free from the constraints of mundane society and enter a fantastical world filled with limitless possibilities and just as many hardships.
Once everything was set up, Vahn occupied the center of the sofa as Nezha was leaning on the left armrest while Wu had sprawled out with her feet kicked up on the right. She was relatively petite at only 133cm tall, but, as the sofa was rather cozy at 248cm in width, she managed to occupy half of it despite her feet dangling off the side.
At first, Wu had positioned herself in such a way that Vahn would have needed to cozy up next to Nezha. Instead, he didn’t hesitate to plop down where Wu’s head had been moments prior. If she hadn’t lurched forward like someone doing a crunch at the last moment, he would have sat on her face.
Unfortunately, Vahn hadn’t really thought his actions through, so, the moment he plopped down, Wu returned to her original position. Instead of resting her head on the sofa, however, she used his lap as a pillow, a mischievous smile on her face as she cheekily remarked, “Well hello there~.”
Instead of reacting as Wu expected, Vahn just returned a casual smile before placing his left hand on her exposed abdomen and his right on her head. This caused the playful smile on Wu’s face to tense, the pupils of her emerald-green eyes contracting for a brief moment to indicate surprise and a marginal amount of panic. In the end, however, she didn’t protest his actions. Instead, she fell into a ruminative silence as the warmth from his hand slowly spread through her belly…
…
..
.
With hours passing like minutes, it wasn’t long before Vahn had both Wu and Nezha snuggling up to him while Riolu made itself comfortable on the back of the sofa.
Unsurprisingly, the Monkey Wine produced from Wu’s Gift possessed the qualities of a moderate aphrodisiac. Had he been a normal person, or even a lesser God, Vahn would have easily fallen into the mischievous monkey’s trap. Instead, he easily suppressed the fiery heat in Nezha’s body using a combination of headpats and feigned obliviousness. So long as he didn’t acknowledge the hungry look she would periodically send his way, he didn’t have to worry about her getting embarrassed or doing something she would regret.
In this manner, the first season of RE: Born with a Cultivation Chat Group! came to an end without incident. When it was over, Vahn removed his arm from Nezha’s shoulder before pushing aside Wu, who, for some time, had been pretending to be asleep atop his lap. The former ended up staring at him with a slightly confused expression on her noticeably flushed face while the latter ended up on the ground, her head making a loud thump as she fell off the couch.
Ignoring the fact Wu’s bib-like top had slid up to cover her face instead of her breasts, Vahn made his way over to the TV, saying, “I suggest we wrap things up. It’s already been nine hours and forty-three minutes. I can lend you the remaining seasons if you’d like to watch them on your own time.”
Tucking her legs inward, Wu promptly bounded to her feet, saying, “It’s about time. I was starting to think you were going to continue pretending to watch that screen the entire night. I guess even you have your limits.”
As Vahn had consumed the largest quantity of alcohol, Wu misinterpreted his intentions when he said they should wrap things up. Nezha wasn’t any different, but, thanks to Vahn’s efforts in abating the heat in her body, an expression of reluctance developed across her face as she softly muttered, “I’m not too sure about this…”
Just as Wu was about to give Nezha a push, Vahn interjected, saying, “Stop. If it wasn’t obvious, I’m not affected by the…medicinal properties of your Monkey Wine. I also took the liberty of remedying the effects in Nezha’s body so she’s just drunk, not concupiscent. If you keep pushing in spite of the consideration I’ve shown, I’m going to get angry…”
“Eh…?”
Having never encountered anyone that was resistant, much less immune to her Monkey Wine, Wu was genuinely surprised by Vahn’s words. At the same time, however, she could easily believe them as most people in his situation would have been harder than the Ruyi Jingu Bang by now. After all, her wine was so potent that men without a partner would literally drill a hole in the ground if they couldn’t find something more ‘accommodating’.
Despite realizing her plan was a complete and utter failure, a cheeky smile developed across Wu’s face as she shrugged her shoulders and teased, “That’s a shame. I may have been planning to get revenge for that punch to the gut but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t taken a liking to you. If you had just played along, I would have at least given you a tail job…maybe more…”
Demonstrating the dexterity of her inordinately long tail, Wu created a loop near the end before jerking it up and down in a familiar motion. She also made no effort to fix her clothes, which, due to her poor sleeping posture and the fact she had rolled off the couch, were in a state of disarray that made it apparent she wasn’t wearing any undergarments.
Shaking his head, Vahn maintained a placid expression as he plainly stated, “If your words weren’t false bravado rather than genuine boldness, I wouldn’t mind keeping you company. As for Nezha, she has someone to return to. If you truly cared for her, you would respect that.”
Though she hadn’t actually intended to do anything, Wu was annoyed by Vahn’s insinuation that she was afraid. She regarded herself as the most fearless existence in the Heavens and abroad, so, after a very brief moment of hesitation, she pulled at the fabric concealing her modest yet shapely breasts as she asserted, “The only thing I’m afraid of is the feeling of disappointment you’re bound to bring me…”
As if she were tearing through rice paper rather than nearly indestructible fabric, Wu tore away her top with a casual motion before staring at Vahn with a challenging smile. If it weren’t for the myriad blues and purples that appeared in her previously sunny aura, he might have been tempted to put her resolve to the test. Instead, he maintained the same expression as he remarked, “Not bad. Once you get your feeling sorted out, I wouldn’t mind proving your assumptions wrong.”
With that said, Vahn waved his hand to produce a hazy green aura around Wu’s body. Almost immediately thereafter, the bib-like shirt was restored to its previous form. As for Wu, she had a predominately blank, slightly pensive look on her face as she stared back at him with her vibrant, emerald green eyes. The fretful threads in her aura gradually faded away. In their place, a single, almost imperceptible thread of pink appeared as she stated, “You’re really weird…” as if she were uttering a simple truth.
Returning a wry smile, Vahn’s voice softened as he explained, “Not everyone views the world in terms of giving and receiving benefits. Some people attain gratification and reach fulfillment by helping others. As someone who wants for very little, it does me no harm to render assistance to those in need.”
Snorting through her nose, Wu’s expression became somewhat pouty as she grumbled, “You’re starting to sound like Sanzang…”
Unable to suppress his curiosity, Vahn willed Loi-chan to manifest as Sanzang. When he saw that it was a beautiful woman, he wasn’t even remotely surprised. What did surprise him was the fact her head was completely shaven, and, despite being a monk, she carried a longsword sword on her hip and wore a necklace fashioned from cat-like skulls around her neck. Even more surprising was the fact that Loi-chan promptly reported, “Oh? It seems like she can sense it when people are thinking about her. She has just taken notice of you.”
“…”
Restraining the urge to palm his own forehead, Vahn thanked Loi-chan before promptly dismissing her with a thought. Then, as if he hadn’t even heard Wu’s previous statement, he said, “I’ll show you to the exit. Not a lot of time has passed since your arrival so you have ample time to trespass a few of the other pavilions before returning to the Mountain of Flowers and Fruits.”
Furrowing her brows, Wu inquired, “What makes you think I’m just going to turn tail and return to Mount Huoguo? So long as you’re in the Heavenly Domain, I’m going to keep bothering you until you either reveal your true colors or run away…”
Confused by Wu’s statement, Vahn’s expression reflected his bewilderment as he asked, “My true colors? What do you mean…?”
Crossing her arms in a triumphant manner, Wu’s previous expression of doubt was replaced by an unbridled air of confidence as she answered, “You’re a Pure-Blooded Dragon. There’s no way you came to a place like the Jade Palace just to participate in a banquet when the food you can provide is better than anything Zao Shin can come up with. You’re up to something and I intend to find out what it is.”
“…”
Realizing that Wu was likely just bored and wanting to play around, Vahn shook his head in mock exasperation before adopting a wry smile and saying, “Do what you want. Just keep in mind that I won’t tolerate you bullying people in my presence. That punch from earlier is just the tip of a very large iceberg. I may not be particularly fond of violence but I’m not even remotely a stranger to it…”
Surprised by how easily Vahn had acquiesced to her selfishness, a radiant smile developed across Wu’s face as she promptly pounced over to him. Then, with her soft and visibly expanding breasts pressed against him, she playfully tantalized, “Since you gave me permission, I’ll be keeping a ‘very’ close eye on you until you leave the Heavenly Domain…”
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Vahn startled Wu by giving her a chaste hug as he whispered, “If that’s what you want. I don’t mind keeping you company…”
…
..
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(A/N: Alternate Titles: ‘I would be happy with just Vahn’s ability to watch virtually any anime…’,’You have no power here…!’,’Conquering the stone monkey with kindness…’)
