After sorting through his thoughts, aided by his accelerated mental faculties, Vahn exhaled a tired sigh as he said, “There isn’t really much I can do about it. I’ve spent hundreds of years pandering to my women and doing everything I can to make them happy. As strange as it sounds, it’s basically a muscle memory at this point. If Black Rabbit keeps giving me ‘go-ahead’ signals, I’m going to keep reacting.”
Not expecting Vahn to say something so honest yet shameless, Shiroyasha pulled out her fan and began to snicker. This proved he wasn’t a complete ‘asshole’. He just didn’t really know any better. This was something she could work with, so, after getting her fill of laughter, she snapped her fan shut and said, “Leave it to me. Black Rabbit will do just about anything for her Community. If I can convince her it’s for the sake of the children, she should cool her jets pretty quickly. You just need to stop being so touchy-feely all the time.”
Raising his hands in a helpless manner, Vahn stated, “That’s easier said than done. Just like when I caressed your head, it’s not really something I can control. If a person is in my range and they do something I find cute or approve of, I’ll end up petting them by instinct. Black Rabbit is simply too cute for my hands to remain idle…”
“Hmmm…I can kind of understand that. Even I can barely keep my hands off of her…”
Adopting an accusatory look, Vahn retorted, “There is a significant difference between me petting someone’s head and you groping their breasts and butt…”
Snicking in response to Vahn’s words, Shiroyasha opened her fan again before stating, “So, you’re basically saying you need something to keep your hands occupied. Is that why you decided to open up a forge?”
Shaking his head, Vahn explained, “There is a forge in my workshop, but my workshop isn’t a forge. It is also a medical ward, an alchemy atelier, a massage parlor, and pretty much anything else I need it to be. But yeah, I guess you could say they’re all tasks that occupy my hands.”
“Then it’s simple. We just need to find you an assistant, extra emphasis on the ass part. Black Rabbit is a pretty skittish woman. If there is someone else around, her boldness will drop from 100 to 0 real quick. This is also a good opportunity to let her sort out her feelings regarding becoming a member of a harem. You’ve been pretty open about it, but there’s a substantial difference between knowing your partner has a harem and seeing them interact with other women. If she can’t stomach the idea of seeing you with other women, it would be better to pair her off with someone else.”
Frowning, Vahn crossed his arms in a defensive manner as he said, “I just told you that I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I understand where you’re coming from, but that objectivity of yours is pretty ruthless.”
Shrugging her shoulders, Shiroyasha rebutted, “You also said it couldn’t be helped. It wouldn’t be a problem if you were a one-woman man, but you’re not. At least this way she will have more options to choose from. Besides, don’t you need someone to shield you against those two brats you picked up? Your expectations are waaay too high if you think Jin has what it takes to create a harem. You’d have a better chance at convincing a pebble that it’s a planet.”
Furrowing his brows even deeper, Vahn begrudgingly groaned, “There are other boys in the No Names…”
“Pfft…!”
Unable to contain herself, Shiroyasha began to laugh in a frustratingly boisterous manner, much to Vahn’s chagrin. When she was done, she wiped away a tear from her eye before saying, “You’re not wrong, but girls like that only have eyes for older, more reliable men. You’re basically their knight in shining armor. Sure, you can pawn them off on others if you’re serious about it, but there’s no way in hell they’ll settle for boys younger than themselves. Unlike men, most women aim for men older than themselves. The only notable exceptions are childhood friends or girls with terrible household situations and much younger brothers.”
Shaking his head, Vahn’s expression didn’t improve as he remarked, “You have an answer for just about everything, don’t you…?”
Adopting a smug, remarkably smackable grin, Shiroyasha puffed out her nonexistent chest as she said, “Of course. I might only be a few thousand years old, but I’ve experienced tens of trillions of years, countless epochs, and the start and end of innumerable metaversal structures. I’ve witnessed the beginning and will probably be around after everything comes to an end. You’d be ‘very’ hard-pressed to find someone more knowledgable than me when it comes to things like this.”
Since Shiroyasha’s existence predated the concepts of time and space, she only counted the time since she had physically manifested in the Divine Realm as her age. If not, it would be impossible to calculate her actual age as her existence was, quite literally, related to the formation of stars across all of creation. In other words, she had been around since the birth of every cosmology and would continue to exist until someone replaced her or every star in existence burned out.
Rolling his eyes, Vahn decided to get to the point, asking, “What did you have in mind? Don’t tell me you’re intending to pair me up with every girl you’ve personally taken an interest in? I’ve lived through a similar plot…”
As he had primarily been joking, Vahn’s expression morphed into a deadpan when Shiroyasha spontaneously paled, her cat-like eyes briefly averting to the side as she avoided answering his question. Ever since she had received her Divinity, she had lost the ability to lie. This was one of the reasons she made people pay for the information she had and why so many people trusted her as a source. Unfortunately, at times like this, it could be a double-edged sword.
“You sneaky little…”
Waving her hands, Shiroyasha became uncharacteristically flustered as she explained, “H-Hey now, it’s not like I was trying to deceive you or anything malicious. I was just thinking ahead. I mean, let’s be real, it’s only a matter of time before you try to lay your hands on me. Besides, all the girls I have in mind are either super cute or sexy. What’s there to complain about?”
Massaging his temples, Vahn didn’t know where to start with the imp-like woman nervously smiling back at him. She had always reminded him of Loki. He had just failed to take into consideration how truly similar they were. Fortunately for Shiroyasha, Loki had secured her place as one of the women he was most fond of. She had been instrumental in shaping him into the man he was today, and, no matter how much time passed, he constantly found himself relying on the advice she had given him hundreds of years prior…
Shaking his head, Vahn found himself restraining a smile as he exhaled a tired sigh and asked, “So? Where is she…?”
Realizing that Vahn was basically giving her the green light to proceed with her grand harem plan, a lascivious grin developed across Shiroyasha’s face before she could conceal it behind her fan. Then, before Vahn could retort with a deadpan expression, she answered, “Her name is Shirayuki-hime. In the lower realms, she was a water wyrm that sacrificed herself to one of my altars. I took an interest in her and blessed her with a fragment of my Divinity. At the present moment, she presides over the Tritonis Falls located at the Edge of the World. Since you’re a Celestial Class True Dragon, I imagine she would be pretty enthusiastic to serve as your concubine, consort, mistress, or even slave.”
Though he was tempted to ask what she meant by Celestial Class, Vahn could make a few guesses from the name alone. He could also research it more using the Sacred Tome, so, instead of shifting the conversation elsewhere, he remarked, “I don’t need slaves. Also, how many women are a part of this plan of yours? If I’m going to humor you, I’d like to know what I’m getting myself into…”
While concealing her smile behind her fan, Shiroyasha unashamedly answered, “Don’t worry. While I am perfectly capable of appreciating beauty in all its forms, there are only a handful of women who have earned my genuine intrigue. I can’t give you an exact value since it’s constantly changing, but I can assure you it will only be a few drops in the bucket compared to the current number of women in your harem…”
Shaking his head, Vahn resisted the urge to have Loi-chan spill the beans. Instead, he spread his senses through the rather sizeable manor to find Black Rabbit lying face down in the room he had prepared for her. The disheveled covers made it look like she had thrown a bit of a tantrum, and, despite several minutes passing since her departure, her hair was still a vibrant shade of pink.
“I’m not fond of subterfuge and manipulating people’s hearts. If you want to implement this little plan of yours, we’ll need to be upfront with Black Rabbit from the beginning. That girl deserves all the happiness the world has to offer…”
Exhaling a sigh, Shiroyasha shut her fan shut before muttering, “You really do possess a soft spot for women with tragic backgrounds, don’t you…?”
Adopting a wry smile, Vahn elected not to answer Shiroyasha’s inquiry. She had been watching him long enough to know his ‘modus operandi’. He didn’t go out of his way to target women with tragic backstories, but, more often than not, they found their way to him. He simply didn’t have the heart to become another chapter in their heartbreaking tale, so, unless he had a specific reason to refuse them, he generally did everything in his power to make them happy…
Realizing that Vahn wasn’t going to speak on the matter, Shiroyasha rose from her cushion before popping her back like an old lady and saying, “Okay then. I’ll go and have a chat with our favorite little bunny. I’ll also convince her that it’s not a good idea to pump out babies any time soon. After that, you two can go to town on each other. Just make sure you don’t knock her up.”
With one of the most incredulous looks he had ever managed, Vahn stared at Shiroyasha as if she had lost her mind, remarking, “What the hell are you on about? Wasn’t this entire purpose of this conversation to convince me ‘not’ to have sex with her?”
Returning a characteristically impish smile, Shiroyasha answered, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Most of what I’ve been saying pertains to Black Rabbit getting pregnant. Why should I care if the two of you bump bodies?”
Glaring at the cat-like Demoness, Vahn practically growled, “You’ve been showing up and getting in the way every time we’re about to make progress. If you weren’t trying to interfere with us having sex, what-”
“Oh, that? I was honestly just messing with you. Why should the two of you get to have fun while I’m stuck sitting around? At the very least, you should invite me to spectate. I mean, I can keep an eye on you from my room, but that’s basically like watching porn. I’d rather be in the splash zone, if you know what I mean~”
Ignoring Shiroyasha’s lewd remarks, Vahn replayed their entire conversation in his head. He realized that the only stipulations she had placed on him were related to, as she put it, ‘pumping out baby bunnies’. She had never once told him he couldn’t have sex with Black Rabbit. She just chose words that made it sound like she was.
“It’s been a long time since I got played…”
…
..
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(A/N: Alternate Titles: ‘Vahn be like, “The demon in my right hand…it’s too strong…”‘,’Shiroyasha and Loki would get along…’,’This is what happens when you fool around with beings that have existed since the dawn of creation xD…’)
