“I knew there was a possibility I would reincarnate as something inhuman, but what kind of creature has explosives in lieu of normal organs? Loi…?”
Though he had resolved himself not to make use of her too much, Vahn habitually called out the pet nickname he had given to the Law of Identity. In response, a cute yet clumsy-looking redhead manifested out of thin air, her frayed ponytail and breasts bouncing despite the fact she wasn’t influenced by things like gravity.
“Hai~! Hai~! Loi-chan reporting~! And might I say, you’re looking particularly adorable today, Vahn-sama~.”
Staring up at her with his dark, seemingly soulless, eyes, Vahn asked, “Can you please tell me where, and what, I am…?”
Supplying a quick salute, the Law of Identity’s body immediately changed into a complex and ancient-looking grimoire before answering in a voice that sounded as ancient as time itself, “It appears you are located in Netherworld #104,332,492,001,233 on the planet Blood Parch. As for your race, you appear to be something called a Larval Prinny God with the appearance of a Private Prinny, one of the weakest demonic creatures in the entire Netherworld.”
Nodding his head, Vahn was about to ask for more information when a blindingly bright light illuminated the horizon with such intensity that the rest of the world appeared to darken for a brief moment. Immediately thereafter, a mushroom cloud shaped like the face of a cartoonish demon, complete with bat-like wings, bloomed into existence less than a hundred kilometers from his positions.
“Well now…that’s unexpected. Does this world function with Gag Laws? That would explain why my body’s proportions are so strange. I sincerely never expected to encounter the Law of Normalcy outside one of my Actualized Worlds…”
Shaking his head, or, more accurately, his entire body, Vahn allowed the Law of Identity to disappear back into non-existence as he opened his Status. Even if this world functioned on Gag Laws, something typically only found in worlds with heavy comedic overtones, his status should still reflect his power in relation to the beings that occupied the Three Realms…
**********
[Status]
Name: Vahn Aldrnari Mason
Age: 0
Race: Prinny, (*sealed*)
Class: Larval Prinny God
Parameters: [Transcendental Path to Heaven 1-6]
Level: 1
HP: 3000(150%)
SP: 5000(300%)
ATK: 290(120%)
DEF: 230(90%)
INT: 400(135%)
RES: 710(150%)
HIT: 190(115%)
SPD: 290(120%)
SOUL: 5
KARMA: 100
OP: 913,556,210
HL: 0
Innates: [Will of the Emperor: SSS], [Rakshasa Body: SS], [Keeper of the Akashic Tome: B], [Eyes of Truth: A], [Universal Mind: B], [Actualization: (-)]
Weapon Mastery: [Sword: SSS(300%)], [Spear: SS(150%)], [Axe: S(120%)], [Fist: S(120%], [Staff: SS(150%)], [Gun: S(120%)], [Bow: SS(150%)], [MonAttack: S(120%)], [MonMagic: S(120%], [Armor: S(120%)]
Resistances: [Fire: -25%], [Ice: 25%], [Wind: 0%], [Star: 0%]
Weapon Resistances: [Sword: 15%], [Spear: 15%], [Axe: 15%], [Fist: -20%], [Staff: -20%], [Gun: 15%], [Bow: 15%], [Monster: 50%]
Reincarnation Costs: [Good-for-Nothing: 1000], [Incompetent: 10,000], [Average: 100,000], [Skilled: 500,000], [Distinguished: 10,000,000], [Genius: 100,000,000,000]
Evilities: [Explosive Body], [Focused Bomb], [Nine Lives], [Immune]
**********
[Explosive Body]
Effect: Explodes when thrown or impacted with sufficient force.
[Focused Bomb]
Effect: Deals 100% of HP as damage when exploding.
[Nine Lives]
Effects: Can be exploded nine times without sustaining damage.
[Immunity]
Effects: You are immune to negative status and debuffs.
**********
Skills: [Anomaly: ???], [Never Say Die: S], [Say it, Dood!], [Hands of Nirvana: SSS], [Godsmith: A], [Godly Chef: E], [Divine Swordsman: S], [God of Magic: B]
**********
[Anomaly]
Rank: ???
Effect: You are an abstract existence that should not exist yet is somehow able to. You have been bound to the form of a Prinny as a precaution. Please don’t break anything.
[Say it, Dood!]
Rank: D
Effect: You feel compelled to say the word dood at the end of your sentences.
[Never Say Die]
Rank: S
Effect: Your HP cannot be reduced below 1 except through specific circumstances.
[Godsmith]
Rank: A
Effect: You are able to forge practically anything.
[Godly Chef]
Rank: E
Effect: People will gather from across the Three Realms to taste your cooking.
[Divine Swordsman]
Rank: S
Effect: Your skills defy logic and even make the Gods tremble in fear.
[God of Magic]
Rank: B
Effect: You have peered into the Abyss and the Abyss blinked.
**********
Though he was pleasantly surprised to see his Status, Vahn couldn’t help feeling it was a little too game-like. He wasn’t really complaining but it was a little strange to see he had something like an HP(Health Points) value. That implied everything else would have health, and, unless he could deal an adequate amount of damage, people and monsters would be able to shrug off his attacks without flinching.
“Well…at least it makes things interesting…”
As that thought crossed his mind, Vahn attempted to take flight using his bat-like wings only to discover that they didn’t actually do anything. They were purely ornamental, but, by using a bit of his SP(Special Points), he could achieve a form of flight similar to a Dragon.
*Unique Skill: Dragon’s Flight Unlocked*
“Oho…”
…
..
.
After quickly familiarizing himself with his Status, Vahn took off with hypersonic speed towards the explosion that had occurred several minutes prior. Along the way, he noticed the charred remains of countless animals, monsters corpses, and, of course, Prinnies.
“I understand this is supposed to be a world where people repent for their sins but isn’t this a little excessive? It reminds me a little too much of Azathoth’s Realm…”
Shaking that thought from his mind, an action that caused him to perform a barrel roll due to his distinct lack of a neck, Vahn decided not to feel too guilty about the lives of people living in the Netherworld. He would help those he felt like helping, but, as could be expected, most of the creatures living here were sinners in their previous lives. There would be exceptions, of course, but, more often than not, the more monstrous a creature appeared, the more terrible they had been in their previous life.
“Hmm…? Is that an army of Prinnies…?”
Seeing a number of blue-skinned Prinnies gathered up and huddled behind objects such as crates and barrels, Vahn increased his elevation in order to get a better look. They seemed to be squaring off against a horde of goblin-like orcs, demons, and a few dragon-like creatures, most of which had the exactly same skin color and appearance. This was how the Netherworld stripped away a person’s identity, and, unless they managed to Reincarnate or grow beyond a certain threshold of power, most entities within the Netherworld were indistinguishable from other members of their race and class…
As Vahn was looking down at them, a considerable number of beasts, monsters, demons, and even people took notice of him. This included a woman with a paradoxically thin yet shapely figure which included large breasts and pert buttocks. She also had bright pink hair tied up in a complex ponytail, amethyst eyes, and, most notably, pointed ears. These complimented her fairly skimpy yet stylish attire quite a bit, so much so that, even though he was largely immune to the Law of Normalcy, Vahn felt she was a beautiful and charming woman.
Almost as soon as that thought crossed his mind, Vahn’s figure produced an afterimage as he sidestepped a heart-shaped energy projectile fired from the woman’s dual pistols. If he had a brow to raise, he would have done so, as, immediately after missing her shot, the pink-haired woman shouted, “You, Prinny! How dare you look down upon this Lady Seraphina! Stay still so I can hit you properly…!”
Punctuating her words, the woman, ostensibly called Seraphina, fired a barrage of bright pink projectiles that whizzed past him at hypersonic speeds. They were actually a fair bit faster than him, but, thanks to his considerable experience, the distance between them, and the woman’s remarkably terrible aim, dodging them was fairly easy. The only thing he found strange about the situation was that the word *miss* would invariably appear above his head every time he evaded one of her attacks.
“You…you…you…! I told you to stay put! What kind of Prinny dares to defy the most beautiful, courageous, and intelligent demoness in all the Netherworlds!?”
Surprised by the woman’s shameless self-promotion, Vahn momentarily ceased dodging, but, even then, none of her attacks managed to hit. This caused the pink-haired woman to glower with tears in her eyes before reaching into her cleavage as if it was some kind of dimensional storage. What came out was a spherical bomb larger than both of her breasts, and, based on the demonic-faced pattern painted on the side, it was fairly obvious this was the source of the previous explosion.
“Eat this, you jerk…!”
Despite her rather thin and dainty appearance, Seraphina managed to throw the explosive with the force of a canon. Far more surprising, and somewhat ironic, was the fact that she was somehow more accurate with the bomb than she was at firing her pistols. As a result, it ended up landing in between Vahn’s flippers as if his actions were guided by some unseen force.
“What the-“
Before he could finish his exclamation, a massive explosion enveloped Vahn, Seraphina, and the entire battlefield. This was quite the sight to behold from a distance, but, once the bright pink light had faded away, Vahn had what could best be described as a deadpan expression on his face as a measly *290* appeared above his head. Even stranger was the fact that none of the other people enveloped by the explosion had taken any damage, Seraphina included.
“How did you survive my Ultra Secret Love Bomb of Death!? Don’t tell me…are you some kind of Prinny Overlord!?”
Rubbing the back of his head with his flipper, Vahn didn’t really know what to say. All he knew for certain was that Seraphina must be someone important to this world as there was a vague aura of fate flowing around her. The forces in charge of his reincarnation had clearly sent him here for a reason. The only question was, did he feel like putting up with an ostensibly spoiled heroine with a princess mentality and an aura reminiscent of a Succubus?
“Well…at least she can help me to get my bearings…”
As that thought crossed his mind, Vahn’s figure vanished from where he had been hovering in mid-air. In the very next instant, he appeared behind Seraphine, his relatively short height and her remarkably short skirt combining to provide quite the view as he looked up and said, “You should control your temper, or, at the very least, choose your opponents wisely. Had I been an enemy, your careless action would have placed you in quite the predicament…”
Spinning around with surprising speed and grace, Seraphina pointed the heart-shaped barrel of her gun towards Vahn’s head, a victorious smile on her face as she exclaimed, “Ha! Got you now, you perverted little freak…!”
Without any discernible hesitation, Seraphina punctuated her words by pulling the trigger. At the exact same moment, however, Vahn’s figure left behind an afterimage as he, once again, appeared behind her.
Before the befuddled beauty could so much as bat an eye, Vahn chopped the top of her head with the intent to knock a bit of sense into her. Instead, a *371* appeared above her head as a golden *Critical!* rippled across his vision. This caused Seraphina to collapse heavily against the ground ground, her butt leaving a visible imprint in the stone terrain as a bump the size of a grapefruit, complete with cross-shaped bandages, appeared atop her head…
“You…you…you stupid jerk…! How dare you strike the most beautiful Overlord in the entire Universe!? Didn’t anyone ever tell you that you’re not supposed to hit beautiful women…!?”
Tearing his eyes was from the comically oversized bump, Vahn met Seraphina’s gaze with the intent to gently chide her. Instead, visible hearts appeared within the center of her amethyst pupils as she shouted, “Fine! You asked for it! Taste my Overload Ability! Balor Gaze…!”
…
..
.
(A/N: Alternate Titles: ‘Vahn, the Anomalous Prinny God’,’Well, that escalated quickly…’,’That’s a lot of damage…!’)
