I flew into a rage.
“But you’re here, and Ferdel and Assisi are out there too.”
“We are different.”
My voice grew smaller, and my mouth closed when I heard that. My voice, which was desperately replying to him, died down in a flash.
“We’re simply hanging onto a strand of who he was before he became this way. It’s a miracle that we could still see each other. Things are different when it comes to you.”
Still…
I wanted to run away. That thought suddenly appeared. At that moment, I realized something. I would like to deny it, but I already agreed with what Dranste was saying. As much as I didn’t want to listen to him right now, it is true that Caitel had a soft spot for me now…
“Perhaps there really is a God. Maybe you’re Caitel’s absolute last chance for salvation. That’s what I think you are.”
Dranste’s voice, as he continued with his words, was of such a low volume that it was almost falling apart, like my heart.
“You’re the only one who can love Caitel and teach Caitel how to love in return.”
Was that for real? I, I was not so sure…
For starters, I didn’t know how to love and be loved. I grew up showered in love, but would I be able to give love to someone else? Suddenly, my head whitened. Really, I knew nothing. I was not confident at all.
Even if I had lived for over twenty years, I was still unsure of myself. I lacked the confidence to face such adversity.
“You…”
When I raised my head, I saw Dranste. I asked him without a moment of hesitation.
“Do you want Caitel to be happy?”
“No.”
The answer came out immediately, but from the way Dranste looked, I could easily see that the answer he had given me was a lie. I didn’t think Dranste loved Caitel or anything like that. He wouldn’t know about such emotions in the first place. This guy didn’t know what he’s feeling. He lacked the understanding of what it meant to be honest. However, I knew one thing. He wanted Caitel to find happiness. At the very least, he didn’t wish to Caitel to be unhappy.
“I have never wished for such a thing.”
As if I was talking total nonsense, Draneste laughed at my question. I laughed at this dishonest guy at the same time.
“Sure, whatever.”
