Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu
As expected… that ‘puppet’ they were beating up turned out to be the real body of Immortal Master Copper Trigram in the end, and the one writing in the group was either a clone or a puppet. Northern River’s Loose Cultivator had seen through Copper Trigram’s scheme and ruined it.
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator laughed, and replied to Copper Trigram, “I’ll return this very same sentence, without any change, back to you. You are the one that is going to cry and beg for mercy after the beating you will receive at the appointed time! Shady fortune teller, just wait and see!”
Just as they were discussing, another person sent a message in the Nine Provinces Number One Group.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “Senior White, I’ve made a mistake! Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me!”
Afterward, a pitifully yell echoed in the skies of the holiday residence.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber had transformed into a luminous star that was now streaking across the sky. He would drift like a car, spin like a storm of blades, dance in the wind at high speed, suddenly change direction, and so on. He was using various types of fancy styles while flying. In the end, Thrice Reckless Mad Saber disappeared from the sight of the various fellow daoists along with his screams.
This flying style obviously originated from Venerable White’s ‘disposable meteor sword’.
“Did Thrice Reckless ascend to heaven?” Cave Lord Snow Wolf asked.
True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon: “From the looks of it, Fellow Daoist White made him ascend to heaven. Anyway, Thrice Reckless was now seeking death too blatantly, and even I found it hard to bear. Fellow Daoist White, I advise you to send Thrice Reckless into the sun directly.”
Although True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon was seemingly playing the role the ‘villain’ at this time, he was actually begging for mercy on behalf of Thrice Reckless Mad Saber. Since he had said these words, Venerable White was unlikely to pull a long face and send Thrice Reckless Mad Saber into the sun regardless.
Venerable White replied, “Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning to send Fellow Daoist Thrice Reckless into the sun. Not only that, I wasn’t planning to deliver him into space in the first place. Given the type of person he is, he would have a lot of fun in space.”
The various fellow daoists read the message, and thought of Thrice Reckless Mad Saber’s personality… this statement was pretty accurate! Thrice Reckless Mad Saber was the type of person that would try to act recklessly regardless of the environment he was placed in. Even in space, he would find a way to seek death.
Venerable White continued, “Therefore, I decided to send him into a secret realm I’ve discovered some time ago. This secret realm is very interesting, and it’s part of my holiday residences as well. I called this secret realm, ‘Secret Realm of Slowness’. All the people that enter this secret realm will be slowed down. For example, if you want to take a step inside the ‘Secret Realm of Slowness’, it will take you around fifteen seconds. Within these fifteen seconds, you can only complete the following actions: raise your leg, move it forward, and place it to the ground. In addition, even if one decides to erupt their true qi or spiritual energy to accelerate their movements, it won’t have any effect inside that secret realm. Regardless of who the person in question is, it will take them fifteen seconds to take a step.”
Senior White, just how many holiday residences do you have in the end…?
After reading the message, Northern River’s Loose Cultivator asked out of curiosity, “Senior White, is this a secret realm where time is slowed down?”
“No, it’s not a secret realm related to time. It just has a ‘slowing’ effect. The flow of time for the people that enter the secret realm will remain the same, and so will the speed of their thoughts,” Venerable White explained.
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “In other words, although the speed of Brother Thrice Reckless’ thoughts won’t be affected after entering this Secret Realm of Slowness, his every other movement will be slowed down to the minimum. It will take him fifteen seconds to take a step, ten or so seconds to lift his arm, and so on, correct?”
Venerable White: “Yes, it’s exactly how you described it.”
After reading this much, Young Master Phoenix Slayer said happily, “Ahahaha, for Thrice Reckless, this is the cruelest punishment possible!”
All the people that liked to seek death were very active. It was precisely because they were too active that they managed to discover the ‘death-seeking critical juncture’ that ordinary people were unable to find. This was what allowed them to seek death in ways that normal people couldn’t even imagine.
If he got delivered into the ‘Secret Realm of Slowness’, Thrice Reckless would get bored to the point of going crazy in just half a day.
Wandering Monk Profound Principle: “?”
Fairy Dongfang Six (Nightmare of the Streets): “Senior White, well done! Actually, you should have thrown Thrice Reckless into that ‘Secret Realm of Slowness’ long ago to fix his head. His death-seeking disease has worsened a lot recently. It has to be treated as soon as possible.”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “Fellow Daoist Dongfang Six, your nickname changed again.”
Fairy Dongfang Six (Nightmare of the Streets): “…”
After a short moment…
Fairy Dongfang Six (If you change my nickname again, I’ll lose my temper!): “In the end, who is this person that keeps changing nickname again and again?! These jokes about kamikaze drivers aren’t funny anymore! In addition, I’ve been training my driving skills hard, and I don’t easily crash into others now!”
Fairy Firefly: “Little Six, I heard that you smashed the rear of little friend Song Shuhang’s car when you were reversing your car in the parking area after Dharma King Creation’s broadcast.”
Fairy Dongfang Six (If you change my nickname again, I’ll lose my temper!): “…”
Fairy Firefly, life is already hard enough, and I don’t need you to rub salt into my wounds! There are some matters that can capsize the small boat of friendship if said aloud!
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator quickly helped Fairy Dongfang Six get out of this predicament. “Speaking of Dharma King Creation… where is Dharma King at this time? I know that he came over earlier while acting all mysterious. I thought that some fellow daoists in the group might be looking for him to settle accounts, but he apparently disappeared without a trace?”
Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman: “Fellow Daoist Creation isn’t thinking of starting a live broadcast while everyone else is busy participating in the shooting of the movie to coordinate with the background music or something similar, right?”
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Please, stop writing such scary stuff! @Dharma King Creation, Fellow Daoist Creation, what are you doing at this time? You aren’t really planning to start singing, right?”
Dharma King Creation quickly appeared. “Hehe, it’s a secret~”
“F*ck, Fellow Daoist Creation, you aren’t thinking to sing for real, correct? If you want to sing, say it now! I’ll immediately block my sense of hearing,” Northern River’s Loose Cultivator said, somewhat worried.
Dharma King Creation: “Don’t worry. I’m different from Thrice Reckless and Copper Trigram. Although I like singing, I don’t like seeking death.”
But even if Dharma King Creation had guaranteed that he wouldn’t sing, the members of the Nine Provinces Number One Group were still restless. Some of the fellow daoists had already started to prepare tools to block their ears, and others were thinking of sealing their hearing during the shooting of the movie tomorrow.
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After Dharma King Creation’s message, the Nine Provinces Number One Group slowly quieted down due to the lack of a new topic of conversation.
Five minutes later, the group had turned very quiet, just as though everyone had gone to sleep.
But right at this time, Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da seized the opportunity and appeared. “Ahahaha, it seems that no one is going to disturb me at this time. Take a look at my—[Picture of a cute puppy]!”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “Eh? How come everyone suddenly became silent? Is it possible that everyone has gone to see little friend Song Shuhang spinning the cocoon?”
Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “[Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed]!”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “…”
Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “Fellow Daoist Northern River, f*ck off!”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He had been unjustly accused right now.
He saw that the group was so quiet, and found it somewhat strange. Therefore, he decided to send a message, but little did he expect that he would ruin someone else’s plans.
By the way, Fellow Daoist Guo Da, I have hardly any interest in breaking your dog head rubbing combo! What is even more unfair is that you rubbed my dog head… ugh, my head, and even insulted me. That truly wounded my heart.
Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “I’m tired of this, and I’m going to sleep. Good night, Fellow Daoist Northern River. Today was such a bad day, and I’m in a bad mood now.”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “Fellow Daoist Guo Da, good night…”
Just like this, the Nine Provinces Number One Group quieted down once more.
Around five minutes later.
Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da appeared once more: “Surprise attack! Look at my—[Picture of a cute puppy]!”
I’m Mr. Yellow Mountain’s loyal dog: “I was waiting for you! Combo breaker—[Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed]!”
I’m Mr. Yellow Mountain’s loyal dog sent two consecutive messages. “Stupid mortal! I, Doudou, already knew that you would make a surprise attack. Therefore, I’ve been patiently waiting for you, lying in ambush here. Just look at the shocking speed my paws can type at, I’ve instantly broken your dog head rubbing combo! No need to thank me, by the way! Anyway, I had prepared this message a long time ago, and I’m just copy-pasting now!”
After a while, Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “[Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed]!”
Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “F*ck, the internet connection lagged!”
Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “Doudou, you just reminded me that it’s the second time that you are breaking my combo today. The next time we meet, I won’t forgive you!”
I’m Mr. Yellow Mountain’s loyal dog: “As I said before, if you don’t like it, come over to rub my head or bite me! Ahahaha!”
“Doudou, f*ck you! I’m really angry now, and I’m going to sleep heartbroken!” Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da said.
I’m Mr. Yellow Mountain’s loyal dog: “Good night, Fellow Daoist Guo Da. In addition, I should remind you of something… I don’t have anything to do this evening. Therefore, I can stay in front of the computer all night. Since you said the sentence ‘Doudou, f*ck you’ just now, I’ll break your combo as soon as I’m given the opportunity!”
Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da clenched his teeth, and said, “Dammit! Doudou, go get married to a man already!”
I’m Mr. Yellow Mountain’s loyal dog: “Come, keep going! Let’s have a dogfight and see who is afraid of who!”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “…”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “I feel that this group is truly hopeless sometimes.”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator’s message had just been sent that True Monarch Yellow Mountain suddenly appeared. “Ah! Fellow Daoist Northern River, you also feel the same? I feel that this group has gone bad recently, and that there is no cure for the illness that affects it. I’m really thinking of disbanding it.”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “True Monarch, don’t take things too hard! ┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “I was just joking earlier, and the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’ is a necessary existence! Without this group, where would Northern River’s Loose Cultivator go to spam?”
The message True Monarch Yellow Mountain wrote made the various fellow daoists that were lurking come out of their slumber.
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “True Monarch, I feel that the Nine Provinces Number One Group can still be saved.”
When the bright moon appears: “Fellow Daoist Yellow Mountain, long live the Nine Provinces Number One Group. Don’t take things too hard!”
True Monarch White Crane likewise said, “Fellow Daoist, have mercy!” How could it know what Venerable White was doing without this group?
True Monarch Yellow Mountain: “Oh… I won’t argue back and forth with you. I’ll keep chasing after Fairy Dongfang Snow.”
After saying this much, True Monarch got offline.
How to stop the fellow daoists of the group from acting recklessly and seeking death? The first step was to scare them off and have them understand that there would be serious consequences if they didn’t stop acting recklessly and seeking death.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain felt that he was a qualified group founder. He would surely find a way to get the group off the evil path it was taking!
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In the meantime, in the room Song Shuhang was resting in.
Song Shuhang had almost finished spinning the cocoon.
The huge cocoon was already complete, and it was getting thicker and thicker. At this time, the spectating seniors of the Nine Provinces Number One Group were already unable to see Song Shuhang with the naked eye.
