~~
Reece
~~
The next morning, I dreaded my walk down to breakfast. I was dragging my feet more than usual, yet surprisingly, I was still there before my Little Bunny. I had hoped that she would be here first.
I had just sat down when I heard her footsteps coming down the hall. She walked in, a slightly forced smile on her face. She looked almost as nervous as I felt. Did she know I wanted to talk? Did Mom tell her? Or was she just always this nervous around me?
She sat across from me and Abigail brought us our food almost immediately.
"Here you are." She smiled as she sat the plates in front of us.
"What about Lila?" My Little Bunny asked. "Shouldn't we wait for her?" She was so considerate.
"Mom has something to do this morning, so she won't be joining us." I told her.
"Oh." She looked worried for some reason.
We ate in silence for a few minutes. I told myself that I was just waiting for the staff to be fully out of the area. In truth, I was just nervous and didn't know how to start. After another minute or two I finally began.
"So, um, Little Bunny, can we talk for a moment?" I asked her. She had been pushing her food around her plate nervously, but the moment I spoke her head shot up, her eyes wide.
"Is something wrong?" She asked. I could hear a slight tremble in her voice that broke my heart.
"No, nothing is wrong. I just want to talk about a few things, that's all." I was trying to make things better, but this didn't seem to be helping. I hope mom was right about me talking to her like this. Mom should have been here to help explain us to each other.
"Alright." She sat her fork down and folded her hands into her lap, looking at me apprehensively. "What do you need to talk about?" I rubbed the back of my head, the memory of where Mom had hit me with that book yesterday made it throb along with my pounding heartbeat.
"Look, it's been, forcefully, brought to my attention recently, that I'm a bit of an idiot." I couldn't look her in the eyes as I spoke. I was staring somewhere off over her shoulder not focusing on anything in particular. So, it surprised me when she started to laugh at me. I looked at her then, as she spoke.
"Well, I'm not going to object." She said through the laughter. "But what about exactly?"
"You remember when I told you that I regretted saying certain things to you." I was being evasive, but I didn't want to bring up negative thoughts and make her upset. But I watched in horror as her eyes darkened with emotions.
"Yes, I remember." Her voice was strained.
"I'm afraid I didn't make myself clear that day." I saw fear flit across her face. "Don't misunderstand me. I truly did regret saying that. I wish I never told you that I rejected you, because I don't. I never did. I'm sorry, truly sorry. Can you ever forgive me?" I was pleading with her, I needed her to understand.
"Why did you say it, if you never rejected me in the first place?" She asked me. I knew she was going to ask questions. I was prepared for it.
"Like I said, I'm an idiot. There's no simpler explanation than that. I was stupid and thought it was the only way to protect myself. But I also thought I was protecting you."
"Protecting me?" She snapped. "How could saying those things protect me? Do you know how much that hurt me?"
"I'm sorry, I know I hurt you and I am more sorry than you can imagine." I felt her pain, all that I could see boiling in her eyes then, I felt it all. "But I thought the people that have been after you were after me and trying to get to me through you."
"So, they're actually after me then?" She wondered.
"I don't know for certain, but I think they might be."
"Why? What do they want?"
"I don't know yet." I answered her honestly, angry that I didn't have the answers.
"What would rejecting and hating me do to help me, how would it protect me?"
"I thought if I distanced myself from you more, then I wouldn't have to worry about them targeting you. I thought it would be an added way to save you."
"But that clearly would never work if we had to pretend to be a perfect match in public."
"Yeah, I know that now."
"Were there any other reasons?" She asked knowingly.
"I was afraid." I wanted to look away, to stare anywhere but at her eyes so filled with pain.
"Of me?" She sounded incredulous.
"Of getting hurt. Of hurting my pack. Of getting too close." I sighed. "Take your pick."
"Why did you think so little of me?" I heard the pain in her voice.
"It wasn't you personally. I thought little of every woman."
"Why?"
"I've had women try to use me. To try to gain status, power, wealth, whatever it is I can provide for them they have tried getting it from me by manipulation."
"And you thought I would be just like them?" She was angered by this.
"I'm sorry, Little Bunny, it was before I knew you."
"That's right." She yelled at me. "You decided all this on your own without knowing a single thing about me, except you did have my cousin to talk to. I know he didn't tell you that I was some harlot that would try to manipulate you."
"No, he told me you were sweet, kind, funny, caring, and basically the best person ever." She kept snapping and yelling at me, and I just answered dejectedly.
"And you didn't believe him."
"He was your family. I just thought that women didn't show that side of themselves to their family. But I should have listened to him. You're not like any other woman that I've ever met."
"I'd hope not, because no one else has ever mated with you." She joked. It finally felt like this might all get better, eventually.
"I should have trusted the bond, but I was stupid. Please, forgive me." I pleaded with her again as I watched her face for clues to what she might be thinking. Her face was blank though, and I was a nervous wreck.
"Fine, you wanted to start over, like everything we had said didn't matter. I'm assuming that this was the reason. You wanted me to forget about you saying those things to me, right?"
"Yes, I did." I was hopeful after she spoke.
"We can pretend that it never happened, if you promise to never behave like that ever again."
"I promise, I won't ever push you away again."
"Then I will give you a trial period and see how things go." I felt everything crumble. I was so elated when she said we could move beyond it all, now she said it was a trial period.
"I'll never do it again." I promised her.
"I hope not." She didn't sound happy, but at least she wasn't done with me. This was a step in the right direction. Wasn't it?
