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Trinity
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"Everyone has a past, Trinity. Just like everyone has a future. The things we experience and the things that we do will shape who we are but also how people look at us. If you only see one part of someone's life, one part of their story, you will never know what they've been through or where they end up. Has seeing this helped you to understand that?" The other me was posing this question but I just didn't want to hear it at all. I just wanted to get things moving some more. I didn't want to wait around here in this purgatory hell forever.
"So, your goal here was to make me feel bad for having killed my father? Is that it? Is that what you wanted me to gain from this whole thing? Well, that is never going to happen. I may feel sorrow and pity for the boy that Edmond used to be. I may feel bad for the fact that he missed out on a good life because his parents were shitty. But I will never regret ending his life. He was a monster that needed to be stopped." My shoulders were heaving up and down now as I screamed at her.
"I did not intend for you to pity the man or regret killing him. I simply wanted you to know that even good people can change. They can grow seeds of darkness inside of themselves and it can happen either quickly or slowly. No matter who it is, someone can be just as bad as they are good."
"Yeah, I know." I hung my head and sighed as I tried to fight off the feeling of dread that was filling me.
"It is time to wrap this up, we only have a few more memories to face."
Once again, she reached into that silver bag and brought out that now familiar black dust. The fire acted the same as always and I just waited patiently for the images to start. I didn't say anything, and I didn't fight it at all. I just let it happen as it would whether I delayed it or not.
The images came without an introduction this time. It was just the scene starting. It was initially the scene when Reece and I first visited Aunt Glory at the Fae compound. It was the banquet when Grier stated that I would be the ruin of them all. I found out later that he had been controlled by Solanum and that this hadn't been something that he wanted to do. I regret not stepping in and telling Aunt Glory to spare him.
"This was the start of a very bloody segment with the Fae, was it not." Another one of those grins played across the other me's face and it made me shudder. I tried to repress it, but I wasn't able to.
"This was when Aunt Glory killed that man. That had nothing to do with me." I did my best to keep my voice even.
"Ahh yes that is true, however were you not just thinking that you regretted not stepping in to save him?"
"Th..that was because I had knowledge of things that came later. At that time, I didn't know that he was being manipulated. I couldn't have saved him." Even to my ears it just sounded like a weak excuse.
"I know you better than that, Trinity. You know that you should have stopped it, yet you chose to ignore it."
"B..b..but she was the queen."
"AND SO ARE YOU!" This was the first time that the other me had gotten angry and yelled at me. That was different and I hadn't been expecting it at all. Because of the shock of it all, I actually flinched and recoiled just a little.
"I was still learning at the time, and I was a new queen. I didn't know that we were family yet."
She wasn't accepting my words though. Instead, she just sighed and looked back at the screen.
"Let us continue, Trinity. I can see that talking to you will get me nowhere."
With that, the images changed. I watched a sped-up version of the time that I spent with Aunt Glory and Athair mòr in the Fae compound at Christmas. This was right after Reagan and Rika had turned one and we had learned that Aunt Glory and Athair mòr were actually our family.
Parts of the scenes that were passing by slowed almost to normal speed at times. Like during the balls that were held for each primary element's week of celebration. I danced with some of the Fae men during the first ball while Reece danced with some of the women.
During that first ball, Reece had grown jealous and put an end to me dancing with the other men even though there was still a long line of them waiting for me. He had acted a little childish, but I thought it was cute as well.
I hadn't, at the time, seen how upset some of the men had been when their chance was taken from them. I could see it now though. And there, at the next ball, were the same men who didn't get to dance with me. They were trying again but I refused to dance with anyone but Reece that night. The same thing happened at all the subsequent dances. I only danced with Reece.
The images sped up again and I knew where it was going. I knew what was coming. It was the banquet outside to celebrate the new year. I was having a good time and not paying much attention. However, my guard was being quite diligent. When I was about to take a drink from a freshly filled glass, Pierre stepped up and stopped me. And it was a good thing too, because the glass had been poisoned by a man that I later learned was named Finch.
"Oh, look here. This was the first time that you outright executed someone without there being a battle first." The other me smirked at the fire. "You were ruthless and did not let him have a trial."
He admitted guilt and I needed to make the people respect me."
"So, it was about controlling the populace more than anything?" The other me gave me a look that told me that my priorities were all wrong.
"No, that wasn't it. I..I..I needed to show them that I was a queen or it would happen again. I had to protect myself."
"But you did not give him a trial, did not send him to prison. No, you executed him on the spot in front of everyone. Your family was devastated about that."
"I know they were."
I remember that. I remember that everyone had been slightly afraid of me. I hadn't liked the fear from them, but there was nothing that I could do about it. That was the way that things needed to be.
"There are just a couple more to go, Trinity. Bear with me for just a little while longer. This part of the ordeal is nearly over." For some reason, I didn't quite believe her.. This felt like it was going on forever and I didn't think that I would ever get out of here.
