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Trinity
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For a moment, I thought about just sitting there and wallowing in self pity. If I was never going to get out of here. If I was never going to get home and see my family, then what was the point of getting up? What was the point of working so hard for something that I would never get to see ever again? That's right, there was no point.
However, I didn't have it in me to be a quitter. Never, in all my years, had I just given up on something when it was too difficult. When I wanted to go to school, I made that happen even if my grandfather was against it. When I wanted to keep learning how to fight, I made that happen by sneaking away to a gym and learning in secret. I never let things being too difficult stop me from doing what I needed to do, and this time wasn't going to be any different.
After my few moments of weakness were done, I decided that I was not going to sit here and cry anymore. I was going to wipe away the tears, pick myself up off of the ground, and push my way through this barrier that has been trying to stop me ever since I got here.
The moment that I thought about that, the moment that I let the fear and worry go, I was able to move so much easier. It may not have been as easy as I would have moved in the real world, but it wasn't as slow going as it had been before.
I was on my feet and forcing myself to move toward the door of my room. I couldn't use magic right now, so I needed to rely on my own body and my own prowess. This world was not going to get the best of me. I was going to keep pushing, harder and harder, until I was able to get to where I was going.
Finally, I made it to my door and the stairs beyond it. I was moving faster, or what I felt was faster than I had been moving. I almost felt like I was running down the stairs toward the other doors that were on the next floor.
I started to search then. I searched the rooms of all three of my children, Reagan, Rika, and Talia. I moved on to the empty rooms that were still on that floor. Another nine rooms in all. Seriously, I never understood why Athair mòr had insisted on there being a dozen rooms for children. Did he really think that I was going to have that many children in all?
None of the rooms on this floor had a way out for me. There was nothing that would help me to escape this prison that I was in. I continued to search every room that I came to. I was not going to give up and I would search everywhere to find the way out.
Down the tower I went. Into every room, every space that was big enough for me to fit, I went there. I searched and searched as much as I could. But there was nothing. Nowhere in the entire tower had a way out of here.
That's fine. I wasn't going to give up. Not now, not ever.
I went to the other two towers. The ones meant for my nobles. I didn't like the idea of searching these places, but I had no choice. I needed to find my way out of here. I searched every floor in both towers. Every residence on those floors were searched when the doors opened with the slightest touch. I saw how each place was decorated to the style of those that inhabited the places. Trevor's place was much more masculine and wild looking, but there was some softness thrown in there from when Aunt Glory had visited. There was even an adorable little nursery for Torben. But there was no door.
None of the noble residences had a door to get me out of here. There was no door, nor a special portal, nothing. They were just regular places for people to live, except that they were in black and white.
I searched the offices after that. That was the next place that I thought I might be able to find a way out of here. I had heard the voice in my office. And I also spent a lot of time in my office, so it only made sense for me to find an exit in my office.
Well, I was wrong. I didn't find an exit in there either. I did, however, find a pitiful sight there. I found all the work that I had been intending to give to everyone else. All the files and paperwork that I was supposed to pass along to the team that I hired. It was all in my office with my writing all over them. Meanwhile, the offices of the people that I had hired to help me were nearly empty. They didn't have much to do. I hadn't been able to bring myself to trust people because of that stupid voice. That voice that I knew was just trying to trick me. It had tricked me too. It tricked me into not trusting my own people.
There was one other thing that I found in those offices as well. I found that a lot of my team had written messages back and forth to each other. In them were written things about me.
-She's doing too much by herself. She needs to rest.
-I'm worried about the Queen. Is she going to be OK?
-Does she not trust us? Did we disappoint her?
-I think she is getting sick. Have you seen how tired she looks lately? I hope nothing is wrong with her.
I really had disappointed my people. I had turned their hard work and dedication to me into something for them to despair over. I really was a horrible queen.
"I will do better. I promise you all. I will get better. I will be back. And I will share the work with you. I won't listen to that voice. Not now, not ever again."
'You might not want to make that declaration. You need me to show you the way. You need me more than I need you, Trinity.'
The voice came back almost the second that those words were out of my mouth. And I could tell that the voice was not happy with my declaration. Whoever the woman on the other end of this connection was, she was not happy with me right now.
'If you want to see the complete and utter destruction of everything that you love and cherish, then by all means, ignore me. I will relish in your suffering when you lose it all.' Yeah, that was definitely not the voice of someone trying to help me.
"I don't need you." I growled the words into the silence around me. "I told you I would find my own path. I don't need you leading me astray." The voice didn't respond, and that made me feel quite relieved. I didn't want to hear what it had to say anymore.
